18 Mo. Old Still Will Not Sleep

oh T., i feel you i have three kids that wake up screaming every night and they are aged 1,3,and 5(my 5 yr old has finally started to phase it out ans sleep more soundly). I have chalked it up to being night terrors. they sleep walk and cry uncontrollably for 10 minutes or so until they fall back asleep like nothing ever happened. he will grow out of it more than likely you could just let him cry it out. maybe he is doing it becasue he know you will rock him?

When you rock him, put him down to fall asleep on his own. If he's asleep when you put him down, it may scare him when he wakes up and he's alone. He will probably get upset the first week that you try this, but let him fall asleep on his own. This will teach him how to self sooth. You could also get him a lovey, if he doesn't have one. A small satin blanket works great. Put it between you and him when you rock. Then put him in his bed with the lovey. It will smell like you & help him feel safe. Good luck!

I can relate to this so much! When we moved our daughter into her crib from the bassinete for the first time it was a night mare. She was 6 months old at the time. We did the rocking thing for several month and it finally got to the point where when we would stop rocking - she would wake up. So me being the bright person I always thought I was - I put her in her swing and took up stock in entergizer batteries. Her daddy and I were finally able to get a decent nights rest for several month. About two months into it - and $100 + worth of batteries - we decided this wasn't all that brilliant of a plan. We spoke to her doctor and explained that as long as she was being rocked - she would sleep - but as soon as the rocking would stop - she would wake up with these blood curdling screams. Not crying - but screaming! He told us - which did make sense to us (although we didn't like it) that there was nothing wrong with her - and that it was our fault. We had 'programmed' our daughter to only know that was the way to sleep. He suggested and it finally worked after lots of frustrated nights - put her in her bed. When she starts crying - go in and check on her (just to make sure nothing is wrong) Pick her up - give lots of hugs and kisses and tell her we love her but it is nite-nite time and put her back in her bed. After about a week - she finally got the picture that her bed was where she would be sleeping. Life was great - until about 18 months old when she got sick. She started running a high fever, sinus, cough etc. We were having to give her updraft treatments every two hours. To help out - my husband and I took turns getting up at night to make sure we were doing what she needed. The problem was - we couldn't get back to sleep. My husband got the bright idea to just put her in our bed that was she was right there. She got better after about three weeks - and we thought (HA) she would just go back to her bed. Boy were we wrong. She wouldn't goto sleep unless she was in our bed. The minute we would try to move her - she would wake up and back the screaming she would go. We realized we had done it again. She was used to our bed and we had to break her of that. We moved her crib out and put up her full size bed. She will be three in May - and is finally in her bed - but we still have to lay with her until she falls asleep.

Long story short (sorry) - if there is nothing medically wrong with him. It may be the same problem we had - where he has just gotten used to the same routine. It may take some time... and lots of more patience that you may not have - but it sounds like you are going to have to break him of what he knows. If it is a routine problem - he will eventually get it. He won't like it - and it will be heard to hear him scream. Our doctor said we could let ours scream for 15 minutes (as long as nothing was wrong)and then go in and do the hugs and kisses thing. Some nights it took two hours - some nights it took 8 hours. After about a week though, our daughter finally got it. We started making a big deal about it - like it was some kind of party and started a sticker board. Each night that she went to bed without crying she got a star and after 7 stars - she got a treat. It worked for us. It might be worth a try.

Start a bed time routine.

Get him a night light, and turn on a lullabye to play in his room after he is put down. The soft music will lull him back to sleep and help keep him asleep.

If this doesn't work then you need to talk with his pediatrician about it.

I strongly recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. We have followed these sleep training strategies with our two year old twins since they were 3 months old, and our 4 month old is already a great sleeper too. It sounds like (if there is nothing medically wrong) your grandson hasn't learned how to go to sleep on his own. It is a vital skill for children to learn! Start with a regular bedtime routine and practice it every night. It needs to be predictable, comforting and calming. We do bathtime, pajamas, book, lullaby and bed. It might be a really rough 4 or 5 days (nights) of crying and protesting (he really just wants to be with you, but sleep is what he needs), but you CAN train him to soothe himself - or better, you can help teach him to soothe himself to sleep. Get the book! It helps kids of any age, not just newborns. A friend used the techniques with her two and a half year old very successfully. You might be surprised to find out how much sleep toddlers need every day (it's a lot!) and one of his recommendations is an early bedtime (between 6 and 8 pm!). Our kids all go to sleep at 6 or 6:30 and sleep until 6:30 the next morning (the baby wakes up once at night to eat). We're not just lucky, we've helped all three learn to sleep from a young age. It really is a skill that has to be developed. good luck!

My little girl was like that and I just thought she cried a lot.Well she started school and when she was going to sleep for her naps,The teacher noticed she was having silent seizures that are sleep induced.That is why she did not want to sleep and would cry a lot.Sometimes when a baby cries like that ,,other things can be going on ..good luck and keep me posted.I would have a dr look at him though ..better to be safe than sorry!!!

has he always done this or is this new? 18 months is about the time that they start realizing they have dreams. This could be the problem. I would make sure that he isn't exposed to loud music, video games, violent tv etc. that no one thinks he is paying attention to because he is a baby. I would make sure he has a nap during the day. sometimes exhaustion can cause this type of reaction at night. good luck

T., I'm an old old mom, some say I'm a mom from the dark ages. It sure sounds to me like the little one is going through some sort of withdrawal. I would get him checked very closely. Does the baby sleep a lot during the day or is he active? I do know of a family that lives close by us that had the same problem as what you are going through. The baby had bad sleeping habits mainly due to what they were allowing her to eat. Once they started giving her the right foods, she settled down and was a totally different baby. She was allowed to eat chocolate and hot dogs, things like that. She stayed on a sugar high.

J.

I've been reading a book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I know what you're thinking - who has time to read? He actually suggests that you skip around to find the approrpriate sleep issues/age for the child you're trying to help and had a sort of cliff's notes style so you can gather the high points. It's a really informative book and I've found it very helpful. Good luck!

Check with your physician, it could be night terrors. The type caused by chemical imbalance from alergic reactions to something in his diet or enviroment. This is something my daughter in law had to deal with and she could give more information than I can . but I'm sure your doctor could give you a complete rundown.

I know that you enjoy rocking him to sleep, but that could be what keeps waking him up at night. He falls asleep in your arms and then wakes up to have you not there and it will continue until you start to put him down to go to sleep by himself. It's okay to rock him for a little while before he goes to sleep, but make sure he goes into his bed slightly awake. He will probably fuss for the first week, while going down, but he should sleep through the night. He just needs to learn how to put himself to sleep without you doing it for him.

He may be so used to going to sleep in your arms, when he wakes during the night, he has not learned how to sooth himself to sleep.
You can continue on and have a 5yo in your bed someday (i have done this :( or you can go through a few sleepless night and teach him to go to bed w/o being held. He will learn to put himself to sleep.
k

T. i can sympathize. niether my 3 year old and 11 month old sleep well. between the two i am up comforting one or the other at least six times a night. so i am just as tired as you are. sorry i had no advice but i do understand. good luck!

Have you tried having some sort of white noise in the room with him? We use a humidifier year-round and it helps our girls. I'm pretty sure there are white noise machines too. Or even just a CD playing with nature sounds maybe?!

It appears your grandchild wants more of the cuddling. I am a grandmother also. We have a tendency to spoil grandchildren more than we may have done our own.

To break this habit is tough but possible. A child is a child and an adult is the adult. Set his bedtime at the same time each night, making sure he is dry and feed. Do not cuddle before bedtime or when he wakes up. Put him to bed and when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying go in an make sure he is okay. He will probably reach out for you, but you can't pick him up. Just say go to sleep in a pleasant and calm voice. You can use a night light that is not visible to avoid the light being too bright. Do not go in and check more than twice. A night or so later check only once. He will cry even louder than usual because he is not getting his way. But when you have assured that he is okay leave the room. When he sees things are not going to go his way he will stop this habit.

Others things to check is to make sure he does not sleep a lot during the day. A nap after lunch is enough. You don't want him making up for the loss night's sleep. He must be a cutey and sweet for you to allow spoiling him. I understand. My granddaughter does not like not getting her way. When she is with me she does not get her way and understands there are limits and rules. Our children must understand life has rules early on. Good luck and God Bless. Don't feel guilty. Everyone must do the same thing or this won't work. It will be hard because he won't be getting his way, but you have to perserve.

Hello T.,
So sorry to hear what you are going through. I went through the very same thing with my daughter when she was that age. She is now 21 yrs old. We found it was colic that was causing all the ruckess. And I too was at my breaking point. But luckily now days thay have colic drops to take care of this.
Another thing I learned about and tried on a friends baby. Take a sweet onion, boil it in water until water turns yellow. Then take the juice, put it in a bottle and give some to the baby. It helps get rid of the tummy pain. Worked for my friends little girl. She was 9 months old.
Good Luck
Hugs
M. in Lynnville, TN
ps we are retired military as of 6 years ago.

I suggest reading...Good Night Sleep Tight by Kim West. We had the same problem with my daughter and after 2-3 nights of "sleep training" she was going to sleep on her own and sleeping 12 hours straight. I was amazed... then I fell asleep!!!

Hi T.,

My granddaughter is now 7, and we still follow a routine that works. She learned that putting on pj's, brushing teeth and hair, then a story (she loves reading now) and prayers were our way of winding down from a really busy day. It also gave her one-on-one time and helped her relax. We have a CD player with a timer on it so she'll usually go to sleep listening to "quiet" music. About the only times she wakes up now is if she's sick (rare) or has had a really stressful day. She still needs to have a night light.

It sounds to me he is having night terrors...It is kind of like they are in a sleep walk state--they don't even know they are crying...Unfortunately, the only thing I know is that they eventually out grow them...
I am very happy you are there for him and his mom--it would harder for his Mom to face this stage without you.

T. - there is a book called "Solving your child's sleep problems" that I bought several years ago. It has wonderful advice in it. When I read it, I could envision the times that I did the things that caused the problems. One of the things it says is don't rock him completely to sleep. He has to get himself to sleep. Right now he's relying on you to go to sleep and when he wakes up you are gone. So he can't go back to sleep. I found that was the problem when I would lay down with my child at night. After she went to sleep, I'd get up and leave the room. Then I'd wake up with her in my bedroom crying in the middle of the night. It really is a great book. Worth a look into. Good luck.

I don't want to sound mean but the problem is that you rock him to sleep every night. He is used to it so when he wakes up he wants to be rocked again. I would break the habit. He may have to cry himself to sleep in order to do this. I know it will be hard but it will be better for you all. Good luck and God Bless!!

Have you talked to his doctor about night terrors? My nephew had night terrors which caused him to wake up several time each night screaming, and he was not consolable. He eventually grew out of the night terrors, but my brother and sister-in-law had to just suffer through it for over a year. I know that is not much consolation, but he will probably grow out of it.