S.B.
SHOW her what a good person you are. We all lead by example whether we know it or not. Treat her like you want to be treated-with dignity and respect. Don't be a door mat-if she doesn't treat you with dignity and respect let her know that that is not acceptable and you won't tolerate it. The important thing is don't give up. If you really want a relationship with her, keep working at it. Try not to take it personally that she sides with her mother. I once was just like your step-daughter. My step-mother asked me one day, "Why do't you like me? Have I done something to hurt your feelings or upset you?" I didn't know how to respond at first but finally did answer the question. It opened a dialog between us-my father, too, that continues today. Once my step-mother knew what the issues were, she was able to address them. She was honest and open in what she told me. She never spoke negatively about my mom. She told me when she thought my mother was mistaken or when she didn't agree with her, but she always took the high-road. My mom called my step-mother (and my father) all kinds of horrible stuff, but my step-mom never did that. Now, some 20 years later, I enjoy great relationships with both my step-mom and my mom.