ok i have a 12yr old girl who has not yet started but her behaver has show it is very close an she can be very sassy at time what is it i can do to help her chang this
What exactly is it that you are wanting to change?
Her being sassy? it's a normal thing for young people to go throught. Just be there for her. Support her the best you know how without letting her walk all over you at the same time. In reality we all need to keep boundaries
Here is a link I think might help you. Good luck!!
http://www.positivediscipline.com/parents/archive/Dealing...
Hi K.,
You might want to change her diet a bit as too much sugar or processed foods are hard on a developing system. If she eats sweets, sodas, chips and all the things kids love to eat, you may have to shift to more healthier foods.
Also, a 12 year old is often "sassy". They have "Big/Little" syndrome (I made this up). What is happening is her body is changing and she wants to be in charge more, but she is still a little girl underneath it all.
Just love her and make sure you correct her when she is sassy. Talk to her about her attitude and how it affects the whole family. She'll understand and as long as you let her know it is not ok to be disrespectful, she'll get out of the habit of talking back to you.
You get to be the mom for 6 more years at least, so make sure she knows this.
Good luck,
J. S
Be firm. Be consistent. Create a very clear roadmap that provides her with the consequences for bad behavior.
For example, with my 13 year old niece I gave her the following action/consequence list: If you back talk me, you will go to your room. You will not be allowed to come out unless or until you are ready to speak to me with respect. (And, when she does sass me, I very calmly say "Go to your bedroom, Vanessa. You can come out when you are ready to speak to me with the same respect you want me to speak to you with." I don't fight with her and I don't yell. It's not a negotiation.)
Lying: I told her that if she lies, she is grounded to her bedroom for three days. Period. And I don't care if it's a big lie or a little lie. Lying is NOT tolerated. And I don't care if she lies the day before Christmas; the day before a family trip; etc. She comes out for school, the bathroom and meals. Period. She tested this ONE time almost a year ago the day before we were supposed to go on a weekend trip she was looking forward to. (She thought we would postpone/ignore the punishment rather than inconvenience the entire family. But that didn't happen. We got a babysitter (in the form of my Dad) to enforce the punishment.)
If she skips a single class, I told her that I would accompany her to school for an entire day. If she skips/cuts an entire day of school, I would accompany her for an entire week. (She absolutely believes that I would do this (because I WOULD) and hasn't cut to date.
This really helped keep things respectful in our home. She respects us/we respect her. It's been a win-win. Vanessa's grades improved and she is happier and more content because she can predict the consequences of her actions. She's still a hormonal teenager, so of course she's going to screw up, but I survived my own adolescence so I'm sure we can get through hers!
