Needing Advice on How Long to Wait Before Trying for #2? - Cabot,AR

I have a 5 year old daughter and a 22 month old son. My husband and I waited til my daughter was 3. She and her brother play and if she goes off to spend the night with anyone, when she comes home he is very happy to see her. My daughter use to tell everyone when I was pregnant that I was having her baby. She is the best big sister. The only bit of advise I can give is wait til you are ready, both physically and mentally. Good luck.

My girl is 6 and my boy is 2. they are crazy about each other. it was tough on my oldest for the first 2 weeks and there were tears shed(even in the hospital) but now she is fine and we set aside time just for the 2 of us every once in a while. but her and her brother are inseperable. they bicker...which is normal....but there are kisses and hugs in the mornings , before school, after school and before bed.

I have 3 children. There is 8 years between my daughter and oldest son and 22 months between my oldest son and youngest son. There are so many conflicting things. My daughter always felt like an only child then she felt like her space had been invaded. The two boys were exhausting but they had each other to grow up with. There are times now that they seem really close and then they act like they can't stand each other. They are now 12 and 14. So I think it is a decision that only you can make. There are rewards and hard times both ways.

I have 4 kids and spaced all over. My two boys(the oldest) are just turned 10 and almost 12. My two daughters are 4 and 8 weeks. The boys were close when younger and are growing apart now. One thing tho is that they may fight but will defend the other no matter what. There is an 11 yr gap between my oldest and youngest too. It seems to be ok tho. My boys love both their sisters and are very protective. Maybe that's because they are girls but I do know that even though there is an age gap they will always be there for one another because they already are there for each other. So basically I'm saying that either works. The one thing with the boys so close together is that the oldest is still a baby themselves and isnt happy about sharing mommy. I had more jealousy with the boys then I do with them over their sisters. Maybe because they were old enuff to involve with the care and felt important because of it. Best of luck!

C.,
I am a mother of a beautiful 9 month old and am currently 35 weeks pregnant. Ok well i did not plan it this way, the more that i think about it the more fun it will be for me and my husband as parents. I think it a a decision that does not need to be taken lightly. Yes it is great that all the toys and baby items will be used right after another, but two babies in diapers. Thats gonna be the fun part. Then my husband works out of town alot so the majority of the child raising will be left to me. Growing up I was the middle child, 3 years between my sis and bro, and 4 years between my other sisters. The age was not a problem, we all got along and played toghether and we could not be closer now as we all got older. So good luck on your decision.
PS: it is a really big toll on your body i feel like ive been pregnant for 2 straight years.

I have done it both ways. Our Daughter is 14 and our sons are 2 and almost one. They are 15 months apart. It has been very hard having them so close together but it is worth it. They are already best friends and they have so much fun together. You just have to take advantage of those little moments like when one of them is napping or those two am feedings to make sure you get time with both of them. At first I felt guilty that my youngest wasn't getting enough attention because he is such an easy baby and his big brother is so active. I think if I had waited any longer it would have been even harder for the middle one to adjust. Good luck and let me know if you have any specific questions.

My children are 15 months apart and I wouldn't change a thing. Trust me, it wasn's all roses. The first month was very hard...I cried every day. My son was so angry (even at 15 months) and would hit me. It took him a month to adjust to sharing mom and dad, but know he is very protective of her and won't go anywhere without her. He is almost 2 and she is 7 months and they play great together. I'm sure he will never remember a time when she wasn't there. We are planning on having 2 more children and I would like to have them close together as well.

Hey C.,

I have two girls that are 13 mos. apart. My oldest daughter, Grace, is 21 months old and Clara is just turning 8 mos. this week. The first thing I suggest is to not listen to all these people who are writing about what their friends or family went through having two kids close together but haven't gone through it themselves because they don't have the mother's heart in that situation.

There are a lot of pros and cons to having kids 13 months apart. Sleep is a thing of the past now. I rarely get a full night of sleep anymore. It is hard to go out in public with both of them by myself but we do it! My husband doesn't feel comfortable to watch both of them by himself yet so I don't get any time to myself. The first few months were really really hard because they are wanting seperate things at the same time and aren't old enough yet to understand that you're only one person with only two arms. I've had to learn how to put one down and just let them cry for a few mintues until I can get to them. It gets to me sometimes but I know that they are ok and that I have to just take it all in stride. It is hard but at the same time, I have two babies to love. I feel like I didn't get out of the "baby" mindset so it's really easy for me to just keep going with the bottles and feedings and all. All of Grace's clothes are still in fashion so it's easy to just pass them down to Clara. Now they're starting to play together and it's a riot to watch. Clara has done everything early from sitting up, crawling, and now trying to walk because she sees Grace doing it and she wants to do it too. The best part of the day is bathtime when they're in the tub together because they splash each other and they both laugh so hard. It's starting to get a lot easier now that they are both going to bed at the same time at night and I have them on the same afternoon nap schedule. Grace is also old enough now to walk in the stores and let Clara ride in the grocery cart so I can go out in public by myself again! People in public also seem a lot more willing to help when they see me coming with a baby in each arm and the baby bag swinging wildly.

It's really a tough first few months but I think it will be worth it in the end. I would do it again in the future.

B.

C.,

There probably isn't a "perfect" time that is right for everyone. It depends a lot on how difficult your pregnancies, deliveries and infants are. My first two are 21 months apart. I wanted them close because I was the only child for almost 6 years and really struggled when baby sister came along. We had nothing in common until I left for college.

The first few months are a challenge. You really have to prioritize and use your time wisely. But it just keeps getting easier. We are now expecting our fourth (my oldest is 5) and I am certain the best gift I have ever given our children is each other. The oldest can't remember being the only child and that is a good thing.

You can make time "one on one" for each of them every day, especially when they are all different ages because their sleeping habits are not identical. You can also take them out on dates one at a time. They love that.

Best of luck,
S.

Hi C.
Ihave a girl 15 months and a boy 3 months old. That feels good.
But again u need a helping hand to manage with 2 kids. My mother in law is here to help me. Its a great help. Best part is they don't feel jealous.Its fine to manage both of them.

That is really close to me. I understand you husband and his brother are close but so are mine and his brother and they are 2 1/2 years apart. It's kind of a guy thing, I think. Our are 2 years and 4 months and they are great. My oldest, Jackson, was old enough to help out, (and he loved that), and we were well into potty training when my youngest was born. They are opposite sexes and I think that makes a difference too. You never know what you are going to get. I'll say one more thing. You are braver than I. Going through another delivery was the last thing on my mind. The second is a lot better though. I hope I helped a little.

Hi, C.: Just thought I'd throw in my two cents...so I'm one of 4 kids in my family, and I have a brother who is 18 months younger than me. All I can say is - if the main reason for deciding to have siblings so close in age is so they will have a special "bond" - don't assume that this will be the case. My brother and I NEVER got along as kids!! To this day, we are not super, super close, though we are grown now and enjoy talking now and then. My youngest brother and I, who is 4 yrs younger than me, were VERY close and hung out all the time growing up - we still have much more in common than my other brother and I do. Not that this is always the case in every family, but just thought I'd mention that being close in age doesn't always work in a good way. My brother was starved for attention from my mom, so he acted out to get it - basically bugged the heck out of me!! Anyway, just my opinion of course, but I've always felt that it might be best for each child to have 100% focus for a few yrs before getting a sibling, not to mention a bit easier on the parents! My daughter is now in Kindergarten and will have just turned six when our second child is born. (We wanted to wait until she started Kindergarten before trying for #2 - mainly for the reasons I mentioned, plus financial reasons.) Anyway, I work a full-time job and hardly get to see my daughter as it is! I'm just glad we were able to completely focus on her development thus far. She is super excited to be getting a little sister and can't wait to help out! Anyway - just my experience and my opinions - good luck!!!
-L.

I had my children 18 months apart, and it was perfect. My daughter, the eldest was old enough to "help" but young enough to be close to her brother. They are a year aprt in school and are close and get along well.

Hi C.,

I have two boys. They are 5 and 2. The reasoning behind our length of time between babies was that we waited until my oldest was potty trained before starting to try for another. This helps on diaper costs. They are still very close. They love playing together and my youngest hates when his brother is at school because he has no one to play with. I still want to try for a little girl, but once again we are going to try to wait until my youngest is potty trained. I have noticed one thing, my youngest has picked up things so much faster than my oldest did, because he has his older bubba to look up to. I think it is going to help when my youngest starts school. He talked faster and everything because his brother talks to him. So this is kind of a plus also. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Either way, I'm sure it will be a wonderful and joyous experience for you!

Hi Candance I had my second child on June 2006 and my first child is six I had not planned on having another child thats why they are far apart like they are But If I had to do it again and wait I would do it in a heart beat because my lil girl was a big helper with the new baby and chores around the house when I was tired and could not do much. I can't have anymore but I would wait

My son was 3 and a half when my daughter was born (3-16-05) I still feel like I am missing time with each! They absolutely adore eachother and my son helps take care of my daughter. I have never seen two kids hug eachother so much! If I could do it over, I might have waited another 6 months or so. God bless and only you know when you are ready to get up with two babies instead of one.

I was told to wait at least 18 months after your last baby but no more than 5 years. Your body has time enough to heal after 18 months but anymore than 5 years your body "forgets." I have 2 older brothers. One who is 14 years older than me and one 5 years older than me. I get along great with the oldest brother and we talk on the phone at least once or twice a week. The older brother and I have nothing in common and we don't talk at all unless we see each other and thats only once or twice a year. I had the only child syndrome because there was a 6 year age difference between us in school and I loved being the center of it all. I was also the only girl so I had a slight advantage over the boys. My oldest brother also had only child syndrome since he was the only one for 9 years. In comparison to our other brother we are less selfish, we are both college grads, we also graduated at the top of our high school classes, we communicate better with our parents, and we like the same things and even spoke the same language as kids.
Everyone is different but just for body's sake and for more time with each child I would wait. My husband has 2 children from the girlfriend he was with throughout high school and they are only 11 months apart. They are the best of friends but they fight about everything and are very jealous of each other. They're also very much tattletales. They constantly tell on one another and it's really exhausting to have both of them around! I do not recommend it!

My older sister and I are only 14 months apart, and we have a great relationship. I have a daughter that is 14 and a son that is 9. They are constantly fighting, I think they are at that age though, they are also constantly fighting for my attention. I wasn't planning on having a second child, but I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything, but I would suggest having them closer together, I know I sure wish I would have.

My first child was born September26, 2005 and I am almost 6 months pregnant with our second daughter. I think it is gonna be great having them close together. My first,Pennie, will be 18 months when the second one is born. My husband and his sister were born born the same year.No, they are not twins. She was born in February of 76 and my husband in November of 76 and they get along great. They are nine months and 13 days apart. Hope this helps a little bit.
A.

Hi C.,

All my three chidren were a blessing for me.. and definately a surprise! But it so happens that all of them are almost 3 yrs apart from each other...
My oldest boy is 10, then my dauther is 7, and my little boy is 4. they get along perfectly and are always playing with each other... Just yesterday they were sitting in the living room watching a show together... together... they do so much together.. they help each other on alot of things.. like my oldest one is able to help the 7 year old in homework.., etc. And Also the 7yr old helps the 4 year with much simpler things.. and well the 4 year helps me with our puppy, etc.. It's funny actually. But they all find that being helpful matters and then when it comes to playing, they can relate to things because they are not far apart in age.. I think this age is perfect.. I was able to enjoy each of them when they were little, and when I was pregnant, they realized they were having a brother or sister soon and were able to wait with excitement for them too.. they were there helping me with getting me diapers, etc. and so it made them feel special and learned that they can too play and do fun stuff with eachother even at 3 yrs old.. my oldest would play with baby... singing songs.. then peek aboo.. then it was blocks.. and even tought my daughter to pay with cars.. it was quite amazing how well they got along.. I thought it was almost perfect.. because as she was a baby he was learning to potty train.. and so things became quite good. I didn't have to do much of diapers at the same time.. but baby in diaper, while my oldest one is pullups.. etc. And so with this last baby... it was much more exciting.. now it was two waiting with big joy for their brother.... and they still play with such excitement still.
But I do think that my husband and my involvement in helping them be involved with eachther has to do a lot with it... because I also see other kids, where they do not have this bond... so it's all up to you and your husband.
You can probably have kids 10 years from now if you wanted to.. but if you don't teach this child of yours to love this new baby, then it's never going to just come about.. they learn everything from us. But I do think that being close in age does help, just not too close to the point that if you are not able to cope with it, it might even get to be quite stressful. With todays everchanging society, prices, etc. It helps to give yourself sometime with babe alone.. at least year I recomend before even thinking of getting pregnant again... that's my advice.
As for my kids, there are times when they all do their own thing.. but then there are times when they all can relate to each other.. and they can play together very well... but this also has to do with you telling them to behave, and play with eachother.. etc. If you have children far apart, and then not look for activites for them to do and relate with each other then I think that is when they are not bonding..
Perhaps your mother in law was good at making them interact with each other,etc. And since they were close in age, it was easier...
Because I also have seen that there are people with children close in age that their children never get along, and spend much of the time fighting for attention, etc. But like I said, my opinion on your chidren is the way you raise them. What you teach them. If you are not mentally and physically ready for another child, then it will hard on you.. your children will end up fighting for attention and you will be pulling your hairs out.. .
But honestly you have to think of yourself ... give yourself time with your new baby first.. enjoy her.. give her lots of love, etc. she'll be fine... and then when you are ready for another child, then get pregnant. When I got pregnant with my children, I knew i wanted to be pregnant around that time, but I wasn't like trying for that.. I was just enjoying our life.. and then when we found out we were expecting.. we were so overjoyed... it just so happened that it was perfect.
Since you want to have them close in age.. why don't you let it be a surprise... don't plan it.. I mean you know you want to get pregnant with another child.. when you are ready... just stop trying to get pregnant,.. just enjoy eachother and wait for the right time and you'll be pregnant.. the way it was meant to be originally... right. If it wasn't for contraceptives, children will come when nature intends them to... you'll see.
If you honestly don't mind having another one right away, then just don't think of it.. just don't use anything and just be... and you'll see, God will give you a child when it's the right time.
Personally I would recomend waiting till baby is at least a year old... that way you can enjoy pregnancy without having to wean your baby at the same time if you are breast feeding that is. But more idealy would be for you to wait till you are ready.. baby will be fine with you two giving her love, and will be fine if they are about 2-3years apart... they still can be close .. and relate like my kids do.. don't rush because of your husbands experience if you are not ready yet.

You just had your baby, give your body a rest, enjoy your baby, get back to yourself for while, enjoy your marriage... and then think ok, am I ready for baby#2... do this for your children's sake.. you need to take care of yourself first!

Good luck on your choice.. and Congratulations on your baby!

C.

C.,
I can't tell you what is right for you but I would definately try to wait until your first is potty trained or at least well on her way there. You can enjoy her toddler time and get some rest along the way. You can't enjoy the antics of a toddler or the energy level if you are nursing or soothing a crying baby and the toddler misses out on so much mommy time that she might resent the baby and set you up for some sibling rivalry. You can talk about her being a big sister when she is old enough to be that responsible. Then when the baby comes you can include her in most everything. I think birth is too traumatic for young kids to watch but they can be with you until you go into transition then grandma or a friend can take her on a walk or shopping for a baby gift until you call to say the baby is here. I would also pack in your hospital bag a nice present for the baby to give to big sister (maybe a baby of her own and a t shirt that says "I am the big sister"). That way she has her own new baby and can learn to care for her baby by mimicking your actions with your new baby. She can be the powder or clean wipe holder at diaper changes. My girlfriends 4 year old "nursed" her baby when mom nursed the new baby, it was so cute. I have the cutest pic of the two of them on the couch "nursing" together. I had it blown up for Mothers day and gave each of them a framed copy because they were doing the exact same thing in peeking under the blanket at the same time, unplanned but totally cute. It is important to enjoy each child and watch their personality develop. They really start developing their independence around 3-5. I wouldn't wait as long as I did (14 years, not by design) but give yourself time. Pregnancy totally stresses out the body and you need at least a year for your body to recover, preferably 18 months. If you are nursing, you really need 2+ years because this keeps your hormones in overload since nursing affects your menstrual cycle for most women. I would start counting 18 months from the time you stop nursing at a minimum. Remind your husband if he doesn't understand that he will be spending the majority of his time at the office while you will be at home buried in diapers, having a baby hanging on boob and chasing your daughter thereby decreasing your energy level and thereby as a natural side effect decreasing your energy for any bedroom activities at any time in the near future. If you are tired now, adding another one to the mix will make it worse. If you want to try it out for a day or two, borrow a friend's toddler now for the day and see what it is like. I know that someone else's kid is not the same as yours but it will give you a good idea what it will be like every stinking single diaper filled, nursing filled, soothing baby, entertaining big sis day with no relief in sight. Your friend will have a relaxing day while you will probably be exhausted and feel like a train ran over you. If the first day goes well, do it the next day to see if that changes. This technique is what I call trying on the shoe before you buy one.
Good luck
C.

I think that is such a personal thing. I have a friend whose daughter was barely 1 and she was pregnant with her 2nd. I also just found out that one of my cousins, who has a 10-mo-old, is 2 months pregnant with #2. That is the way that both of them wanted it. I, however, would have had a nervous breakdown if I had become pregnant so soon after having my daughter. Matter of fact, she is 3 1/2 and I would probably be ready now for a 2nd one except that there are things going on in our lives that make me unsure about bringing one more source of stress into our lives (NOT saying that kids = stress!! But it does add another level of stress in caring for 1 more person, and incorporating all of that into the family).

My sister and I are 6 years apart, and we are VERY close, even when growing up we didn't have as much in common as if we were just a couple of years apart. There is always going to be sibling rivalry no matter what the children's ages. Plus, think of having 2 in diapers at the same time, 2 in college at the same time.... There are pros and cons to doing it either way, but it is ultimately what you feel comfortable with and what you want your body to go through.

my huband and i waited till our first child was 14 months old to get pregnant again. that way they are about 2 yrs apart. my second child is now 4 months old and things seem to be working out quite well.

I AM THE MOTHER OF TWO WONDERFUL BABIES MY SON WILL BE 2 THIS MONTH AND MY DAUGHTER IS 7 AND A HALF MONTHS OLD.
MY SON WAS EIGHT MONTHS OLD,WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER.
WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY SON I HAD NO PROBLEMS, HE WAS BORN EMERGENCY C-SECTION. WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER I HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS , COULD NOT HARDLY WALK BECAUSE MY HIPS WHERE HURTING SO BAD, I WAS IN CONSTANT PAIN WITH HER. THEY SAID IT WAS BECAUSE IT GOT PREGNANT SO SOON AFTER HAVING MY SON,IT REALLY WASN'T ENOUGH TIME FOR BODY TO HEAL.
WHEN MY DAUGHTER CAME ALONG MY SON WAS SO JEALOUS.
IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD AT TIMES WITH HER NEEDING ATTENTION ALL THE TIME, AND HIME WALKING AND GETTING INTO STUFF.I WOULD NOT GIVE MY KIDS UP FOR ANYTHING , BUT SOMETIMES I DO WISH THAT WE HAD WAITED A LITTLE LONGER BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN. IT WILL TEACH YOU TO HAVE ALOT OF PATIENCE.
SO MY ADVICE IS TO WAIT A LITTLE LONGER.TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE, I WOULD TELL ANYONE THAT THEY SHOULD WAIT.

I have a 14 month old son and my husband and I are now trying for number 2. I don't really want to have any kids past 30 and I am 26 so we decidedthat if we want a few then we need to get moving. However, i would definitly suggest waiting until your first is more independant. Two kids in diapers don't bother me as much, but it would really be difficult trying to carry 2 babies of two different ages. I would wait until your first can walk comfortably and independantly. Also, until when in public they will hold your hand to walk or know to stay close.

my kids r 2 and a half years apart they r now 11 and 13 and they fight constantly.i am not sure if it is cause they r girls r what.

I agree with Vanessa. I have a daughter who is 3 and a son that just turned 2 in November. They are 19 months apart and true we've had our share of ups and downs and there is definately competition there mostly when it comes to whose turn it is to pick out a kids video. But they love each other and play well together for the most part. I also run a home daycare during the day so having the other kids their age to play with helps. Like Vanessa said, you have to do it when you are both physically and mentally ready to take on another one. Good luck in your decision making and God bless!

Hi C.,
There is 6 years difference between our two and trust me that is too long. They both have been raised as "only child" status. Honestly, I believe it's best to have another child when the first one has been fully potty trained. After being with many woman and their children I see how having children 2 to 3 years apart really developes closer families. Good luck and Happy Parenting.

I have two daughter 2 and 3 also a son 8 y/o. The girls fight like you would not believe. I thought it was b/c they were girls but my cousin told me her two kiddos fight they are 4 and 1 boy/girl. So my son did have only child syndrome but he got over it when my first daughter was born. I do feel like I have not had any one on one time w/ my youngest. Thankfully my mil takes my 3 y/o and I get alone time w/my youngest. My son goes to my mother house almost every weekend.
So what do I think you should do: wait until the baby is at least one year so that you can cherish every moment w/ her until you bring another beautiful baby into your life and hers. You can learn a lot before in the year. Make notes about what works or doesn't work. I forgot a lot between all of the children.
Side thought: My brother and I are 14 months apart we are close in that we see each other and go out. But we aren't emotional close. My husband and his sister are 8y/o apart They talk more openly with each other but rarely go out.

Finally note I believe that not age but rather what their personality is, is what makes you close. How you raise your children and teach them to love each other. Show no favoritism to one or the other. I always felt like I was a mistake b/c we were so close. My brother was planned and I was not.

Again hope it helps...
Leti

PS Remember your body and your mind should also be consider when planning to have another. I know for me my body and mind were not ready for my youngest and that is one thing I reget.
Take care of yourself!!!

I have 2 girls, 5 and 2. They are the best of friends. My oldest had just turned 2 in October when we found out we were expecting in January. I really felt that I got to spend time with Keona before we had another baby, and we had the most precious bond throughout my pregnancy, too. Mia joined our family at the best time for us! It worked out so well, that we plan on having another "3-year pair" after the girls start school.

C., my husband and I also went back and forth on this issue. Everybody's different, but for me, it took a full year to really adjust to just having one child- to really get the hang of being a mom. It can be such a tricky balancing act in the beginning because it's such a radical life change... your entire focus must now revolve around a dependent little being. Shopping, eating, spending time with the husband, going out with friends- everything is now planned around naptime, bedtime and your child's routine (if you want to maintain your sanity!). It wasn't until my daughter turned 1 year old that I really started to feel the strength of the bond we had developed: true reciprocation. Children begin to give us direct eye contact, kisses, hugs....it's so rewarding. You realize that you will always have a special connection, regardless of future siblings that may come along. So when she was a year old, we became pregnant with #2. My first is old enough to understand that my growing belly has a baby in it, and she kisses it all the time. I feel that through this entire second pregnancy, my relationship with my first becomes closer and closer. So for us, waiting to get pregnant until she was 1 was the perfect spacing. They will be 21 months apart, which I think is just right: the two children will still be very close (one or two grades apart in school, depending) and will do absolutely everything side by side, but at the same time I felt I had plenty of time to enjoy my first child and adjust to motherhood. Keep in mind that the dynamics of every family are different, and there's really no wrong way to space out your children. They'll all be loved! And as with almost everything in life, there are adantages and disadvantages to all the choices we make. Good luck!

Take it from someone with three kids, the first two of which are almost exactly two years apart. Wait a while for your own sanity. Yes, in the beginning they were very close and played together well, but ever since my second child was born, everything I already did became twofold. I had to make sure at all times that EVERYTHING was fairly distributed to each of them, and it wasn't long before I became a referee. They bicker more & more each year, and it drives me nuts! Now they are ages 8 & 10, and have a 6 month-old sister. They love her so much, and play with her a lot. Somehow, they don't see her as competition for my time, as they still do with one another. I'm still their referee.

Besides all of this, you are still adjusting to just being a mom for the first time. You haven't figured everything out yet, and you think you are tired now? It will be much easier on you if your first is a bit older and can play on her own some of the time. It's also not fun having two kids in diapers. In addition, your body needs at least a year to heal after the stresses it experienced during pregnancy and delivery. So my advice is, don't be in such a hurry.

W.

When our son was around one we started talking about a second child. My situation is probably different than yours, in that I am an "older"mom. I had my first at age 41 and the second (a girl) at 44. So it turned out our kids are 3 yrs and 3 mos. apart. They are very close. I knew my clock was running out so we got started on the 2nd maybe sooner than some. It turned out well though. 3 years apart gave my son and I time, and when his sister came along he was old enough to understand, somewhat, that things had changed. It was no longer just him. So I think you have to consider the first child's needs. Thank goodness my son has a personality of easy-going and not jealousy. I doubt your husband's mother would "plan" to get pregnant so close. One of my brothers and I are also 14 mos. apart and yeah, we were close, but my mother must have struggled. Then, there is the stress of "trying" for the second baby. Give yourself some time, and don't be pushed into it because your husband wants it. No offense, but his experience of parenthood is not yours. It sounds great in theory but in reality you will be the one who will deal with the daily details of it all.

OMG!!!! Don't do it. My kids are 20 months apart and they are too close. My son loves my daughter but OMG he is SO SO SO jealous.. My husbands first cousin had kids that are 15 months apart and they drive her insane. It is double duty EVERYTHING!! My children are hungry at the same time, and who do you feed first? Sometimes it's like you have to choose which child needs you more. To me it's not fair to them. Also the sheer expense of it all. I love both my kids but I wish I had waited and spent more quality time with my son before my daughter was born. Another thing is you need to let your body heal after the trauma of having been pregnant and then the HUGE trauma of having the baby. There are 19 months between my sister and me and I can tell you we grew up fighting constantly. My mother said we drove her crazy. My sister has boys that are 2 1/2 years apart, and she said she loves it. She got one out of dipers before the other was born. The only way I would do it would be if your husband was a HUGE help, and I mean HUGE!!!!
Good Luck!!

Hi,
I don't have 2 kids but I thought I'd give my advice anyway which is that I think a lot depends on how much support and help you have from husband, family members or friends. If you have a wonderful husband that is really helpful with the kids and people to help you and you feel ready then go for it but in my experience having one child is so challenging (she's almost three, I work full time , so does her dad and we are separated). I am also not the kind of woman that loves beng around kids all the time. I am happier at work. Are you the type that loves to be a mother and loves to be around kids? I would say really think about yourself and your needs because as long as you are supported and can be a good mother you kids will be good too but if you have 2 little ones and you are weak and stressed out and tired it will be hard on your kids too.