Need to Find Understanding, like Minded People to Help with Child Care

Updated on April 16, 2008
H.L. asks from Kansas City, MO
6 answers

Well, my 2yr old currently stays with my dad while I go to work every day. I've been having moral issues about leaving the 2 of them together, partially because our ways of parenting differ in many ways, but there are alot of other factors that play in as well. I would love to find someone else who he could stay with, but I am not in any position to be able to pay for child care at this point in time. All of my friends that are comfortable hanging out with him, usually have to work the same hours as I do, and I feel like the only reason I am still putting up with it, is because its my only option. I am to a point now with the way things are going on, I dont want the majority of my sons time awake to be spent in front of a T.V., and seeing the lack of self control of anger, among other things, that i know he is expirencing, from spending so much time around my dad. I try to stay grateful since my dad does babysit him for free, but I feel like my son deserves more than just to have someone keep an eye on him, I want him to have stimulation, and interaction with good hearted people, so he will actually be learning things from expirence instead of being set in front of a T.V and left to occupy himself while the person who is supposed to be watching him, is off pre-occupied by his own interests. I have put alot of thought into this and i deffinetly feel like I am not over-reacting about the situation that my son and I are in. But i guess I'm just looking for ideas and suggestions of where to meet people who could work something out with me. I have no idea where to look, and I'm starting to feel somewhat hopeless, while I'm waiting for things to change. And I imagine that I'm probally not the only one out there who has been in a situation like this. It would be nice to hear another moms advice and opinion on the matter.

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C.V.

answers from Kansas City on

First of all unless your Dad is hurting him I would be ecstatic to have free child care.Have yu tried talking to your Dad?Use your pediatrician as an excuse.The ped says no more than 1 hour of tv a day etc...
Second of all (not being snotty) but how do you know that you can't afford it if you've never tried?
Third if you are hurting that bad financially have you tried applying for state aid?They do have a child care program and if you didn't qualify for that then maybe you could qualify for other assistance so that you could pay day care.
I charge $20 a day and that's cheap compare to everyone else so I would think about rather your son is really in an unhealthy situation or if your just nit picking!

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I'll try to be nice. Seriously. I know you say you are trying to be grateful about your dad. But you aren't being grateful at all! I'm sorry you feel like you are too broke to pay for childcare. But seriously. I've been doing childcare for 21 years and I've seen woman manage to pay and pay on time for years on end only making minimum wage.

Your dad is doing a fantastic wonderful thing for you and all you can do is complain. He is YOUR son. If you can't provide for him then you really shouldn't complain that you don't think the care is suitable.

You could try and find someone to trade childcare with. That's the only thing I can think of.

Suzi

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Y.B.

answers from Kansas City on

H. I commend you on wanting to have what's best for your son & that speaks alot about you. Even though your a single parent doesn't make it hopeless, so get that out of your head because I did it for years & it does get better. I see you work & it's possible that you can get child care assistance through the state welfare department/tanif...I'm not sure what it's called anymore but it's where you get food stamps & medicaid from. ALSO, I have something that might be of help to you as well, I sell Mary Kay (part-time) & I work VERY few hours a week (10 Maybe) & the money is grrrrreat! It could be a way for you to earn extra money to be able to afford child care for your son. It's NOT expensive to get into, some women leave their jobs & work the business full-time (around their children) & some are just SAHM that do it 10-20 hours a week to help out, make ends meet, vacations or what ever their hearts desire. Some women in our group have been battered, divorced, single, become seriously ill & the support that we get/give one another is unmeasureable. We're like sisters/girlfriends & we come together for our training (your choice) & we may cry together/grab a bite to eat. It may be a sacrafice for you but IF you do & really work your business, it'll be short term for a loing term gain...you'll be glad you did. You also sound like your under a lot of pressure by reading this & I just want you to know that your NOT alone & my heart really goes out to you. If you can afford to buy your son that V-Tech learning system...get him one & some of those learning games & at least he'll be getting educated while in front of the t.v., you hang in there lady & remember that God won't put more on you then you can bare. I know it might seem like it at times but HE knows your strenghts better than you do. You can & will get to the point that you don't have to depend on your father, be on your own & life less stressful...you must speak those things as though they were & into exsistance. Keep in touch with me (even if you don't join Mary Kay), I'd like to know how your doing & I just love your son'd name:-)! You take care & God Bless!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

hey this is going to seem strange but i knew as soon as i began to read your post that i knew who you were. then you mentioned indigos name. Small world. I am K. I live accross the street from you. I just wanted to let you know that when ever I can help you out i would love to. Indigo and reese get along great and enjoy playing together. You dad has brought him over to play with reese. matter a fact he just tried droppin him off a few mins ago but Reese is still sleepin. we are night owls...lol

Indigo is a very sweet and polite lil boy. You have done so good with him. And if i can be of any help to you please let me know. If you just need someone to chat with anything let me know. Its sad we havent really talked yet anyway . I mean living so close together.

I hope it doesnt bother you I replued to oyur post being that i'm ur neighbor..lol such a small world. I just wanted to tell you that i would love to help in anyway i can.

take care, come visit or call me.
lots of love,
K. ###-###-####hm ###-###-####cell

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.I.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you checked with SRS to see if you could get help paying for child care? It sounds like your son would really benefit being in another place. Sue

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Contact your local child & family services department. They may be able to help with some funding for state licensed child care providers.

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