Need Suggestions for a Straight a 5Th Grader Now Getting Ds & Fs

I'm no expert, but I would look at why he wants to be homeschooled. Perhaps he is having peer/bullying issues that are effecting his grades and habits. It might take a while to get to the bottom of it, but that is definately where I'd start.

That sounds like my son. I have tried everything, but home school. If you find something that works let me know so I can try it. Good luck.
C.

Everyone has great suggestions about the bullying and this could be very true. But, I have a different bully in mind...
What is his teacher like? My son transfered out of a teacher's room this year because she hollered ALOT. Other parents knew about this and never told us (we are not locals) He kept telling us he did not want to go to school, his anxiety heightened to the point where he had an anxiety/asthma attack. We said enough was enough. We did call the teacher and meet with her to find out what was going on. She was sweet as pie to us and about Jon but, we got different versions of what was going on in her room from other parents later on. We had him transferred to another class and he is now back to the child he was before first grade began. He loves school and his teacher and is making tremendous progress. Now, my son has Asperger's which intensifies these things but, the proof is in the pudding and now everyone sees it.

I am a school counselor and I am thinking that he is being ostracized or bullied and sometimes no one picks up on it but the dramatic change screams this out as well as possibly child hood depression. I would schedule an appointment with your pediatician and perhaps a counslelor. He may be more forth coming with a non parent or school related atmosphere.
H.

it sounds like he may be having peer pressure issues. My daughter is only 10 months old, but I remember fifth grade. Kids have their cliques, and this is the time where making fun of others really picks up. Sometimes kids dumb themselves down because they are made fun of for being smart, or it could be something else. All I can suggest is to spend some extra time with him. If you are able to, do some homework with him. Ask the teacher for suggestions for keeping him organized. When my brother had this problem, his dad took him to one of the learning centers (Sylvan, I think). That, coupled with more one-on-one time with him seemed to help. I wish I could help more. Good luck!

Dear D.,

Hello! I'm new to the site and saw your question about your son. I know that fifth grade was harsh for me.... bullies. If he is asking to be homeschooled, that is the first thought that came to my mind. Especially since he doesn't want to talk about it. Kids get just plain mean at that age and you just want to hide and this day and age they are meaner.
Another possiblity is the teacher. It sounds weird, but they all have different styles of teaching and some teach through fear. See if you can sit in the class and observe.
I hope that I have helped in some small way. Just keep your chin up and his as well. Maybe just have some he and Mommy time, if that's poassible. Do some arts and crafts, go to and arcadea and play his favorite game, just to some him that you are not unreachable.
E.

It might be a bullying problem and he is too shy to talk about it. That might be the reason he wants you to homeschool, so he wouldn't have to deal with other kids. Of course I'm just talking a guess. A lot of times teachers and schools overlook bullying problems. Is changing school an option for you if nothing else works out?

Good luck!

In addition to the other good suggestions, have his vision and hearing checked.

D.: It sounds like something more is going on with your son than academics - it is going to require a little digging on your part - is he being bullied, reased, threatened - for straigt A student to go to D's and F's ll of a sudden is very unusual.

Is there a male figure that can talk to him about it? Sounds to me like he's maybe having problems with the other kids. Maybe if he gets involved in a group or sport he will enjoy school more. I remember my brother only wanted to talk to my dad, it was the "male" thing. Good luck!

It looks like everyone has already stated the areas of problems I was thinking.
-Bully
-Drugs
But as much as I hate to say it, could some one have molested him at school or on the way to/from school? It's a horrible,horrible thought.
I hope none of these are true.
Good Luck to you all.

my son who was 10 last year , he went from straight a's to 70 last year , the teacher was always hollowing at him and treating him mean and the kids where bothing him so my child didn't want to go to school, now that he is in another class this year he doing alot better, i think it's your son teacher it could be the way she teaching or she might be hollowing at him and that put pressure on a child. you can't think that way. i would check out his teacher and classroom . maybe that's why he having a problem because your grades will drop from that.i hope that help because i went through that last year with my son, he was 4th graderlast year

hi D.,
i have to agree with everyone about the bullying thing. im not sure about drugs at this age, but it sounds like he is having problems at school. he could be getting teased for being so smart. my oldest is 12 and in 6th gr. he is a "self proclaimed NERD". he has always gotten As and Bs on report cards, he gets called teachers pet, nerd, gets picked on. but fortunately, we talked with him and told him the reason they tease you and pick on you is because they are jealous of you, because you get good grades, you are well behaved and you are an exemplary student. and this has paid off, he gets upset about the teasing, but he continues to work his tiny butt off.
tell him not to let their teasing make him want to be "dumb". make him strive and show them that they will not get the best of him. so in 15-20 yrs from now, those kids who teased him will be working at the pizza shop taking his order when he pulls up in his jaguar cause your son worked his butt off in school and runs his own company, or is a doctor or lawyer..
good luck and god bless

My 5th grader asked to be home schooled, and the cause was bullying. You need to talk with the teachers, the lunchroom attendents, everyone that can see how your son interacts socially. Bullying does not have to be obvious. It can be very quiet and sometimes the teachers don't even realize it is going on.

I went to the school, talked to everyone, talked openly to the teacher about the possibility of bullying. I eventually changed schools and the problem went away (THANK GOD).

Talk to the school, take your son to a counselor outside the school. Do everything you have to get to the bottom of this. Please don't let a dr. assume that the child has ADHD and put him on meds. There is probably something more going on that drugs can only put a band-aid on.

Gee this sounds SO familar.. My son was doing the same things. He wouldn't bring home his homework,and would lie about having tests.. I ended up having to ground him.. I am so easy going with all my boys but with school I don't want him to fail.. My son is really into video games.. I took that away from him and told him until he brings his grades up he wasn't getting the games back.. I also had him see a counselor and they said he was fine.. A normal 10 year old boy.. I was so upset and was having phone calls with his teacher at least twice a week.. I was worried he was having trouble with kids a school and that wasn't it either. I was really worried but didn't know what else to do. I found that taking away something that he enjoyed, talking with his teacher and also sitting down and doing his schoolwork with him really seemed to help.. His teacher will spend sometime with him at the end of the day to see if he needs help with anything and than when he comes home we go over everything.. His last report card which he just got back last week was all A's and B's again.. Best of luck to you.. I know it is hard but stick by him..

Have you thought about WHY your son ask you to home school him?? Have you asked him why things have went downhill?

Is he having problmes with his peers at school? Any changes going on at home?? Is the school work actually to easy for him?

Just a few suggestions.

ok frist teachers in the state of Maryland have more students in there classes then what there is supose to be so the teacher might not know if there is a bully problem and that is what it sounds like to me. I have a cusion who went to school after i did and she was starting a school right after i left it. she had a problem with her metabilism so she is big and she keep telling my aunt to home school her well we finally had 1 yr of high school together and i found out why she wanted home school!!! the kids in her lunch would throw food at her and say eat pig eat! I had to go down to get a student
b/c i was senior who helped in the office and saw what was happening and i picked up the boy who throw a whole sub at her and placed his face through a glass display! I then went and told my Princ. why i did it and i only got 5 days out of school and the kid i placed through the case he got charged with harassment and asault and something else it seems he had been throwing food at her since 5th grade on every day she would bring a extra shirt to change into so no one would KNOW and the teachers didnt see it!!!!!!! I have decided to homeschool my son.. kids are mean and yes he is going to have to learn to deal with rude and mean people but not when he is there to learn not worry about what is going to happen to me today! Talk to your son and see if there is a problem No kid should hate school they are going to be going to school for a long time and you dont want them to start hating now! if you want you can use what happened to angel and me to start the conversation! P.S. My little Cusion got to get home schooled the rest of high school and ended up with a 4 yr full paid school term at UMBC from a local org who only gives to home school programs.

D.,

Talk with your son. He could be getting teased since he keeps asking to be homeschooled. Talk with your son's teacher, she could have some insight on his problem.

Unfortunately, a sudden turn in grades could indicate drug use. Kids that age usually sniff or huff. I'm not saying this is definitely the case with your son, but it's something you need to be aware of and watchful for. Cleaning solutions, liquid paper, paint and nail polish/remover are all common things that kids huff & sniff with.

GOod luck. I hope I'm wrong. Please let us know how you and your son are doing.

Beth

My first thought was there might be a bully at school who's harassing him and he wants to be home in a secure environment. Maybe you can look online for info on how to discuss bullying with your child.

You might also consider that he may be jealous of the time your daughter gets to spend with you if you don't give him one on one time after school and weekends. I don't really think jealousy would change his attitude so dramatically, but it's worth looking into.

Good luck!
D.

D., could it be that he is getting bullied at school? I have a 12 year old, who is going through the same thing. It turns out that his "friends" are now mistreating him calling him names, taunting him, and threatening him. He is a very sensitive boy and this has him asking me to home school him, and he has been getting some really bad tension headaches. Try to see if he will talk to you, ask him if there is anyone that is treating him in a way that makes him uncomfortable. If that is the case go back and talk to the counselor and see how the school can help, good luck to you.

Have you talked to your son's teachers? If not you need to start there. Then talk to the school councilor. You need to start somewhere to see what is exactly is going on. Your son may not know why he acting this way. My daughter used to get A's and B's and started bringing home C's, D's, and F's. Socializing played a big part, not paying attention in school, and we just found out she has a learning disability in Math. My daughter is also very disorganized and sometimes does not hand in assignments as well. The guidance councilor, the special education and reading teacher recommended that I talk to my family doctor about ADD or ADHD.
I hope I helped you somewhat.

A.

I know sixth grade is a hard grade....Your son might be a little intimadated in this grade. My son also came home with some d's and f's in the begining of the year. We had a conversatiin about why he was getting these grades. He did say that it was harder and he was sitting in back of the class. I called his teacher and told him that Tyler was off track and I thought that sitting infront of the class was going to be better and that he would be able to focus because the distaction was behind him. His teacher agreed and moved him and ever since his grades got back to a's and b's. I hope this helped you and God speed....

Hi D.,

I'm a new member on this website.
The only thing that comes to mind immediately was his comment about you home schooling him, that would lead me to believe
that something at school is troubling him enough for him to
not want to attend. Not sure if peer pressure or a bully could be the case but it may be something he's afraid to share and is on his mind so much that it effecting his concentration.

Have there been any recent home life changes? Such as a move
or relationship changes in your life?
That could be a trigger as well.
Good luck with the teacher meeting keep me posted.
I'll keep you and your son in my prayers.

Trish

Have you asked him if he is getting bullied by anyone at or on the way to school?
L.

HI D.,

I WOULD FIRST CHECK WITH THE SCHOOL IT SOUNDS LIKE HE MAYBE BEING BULLIED THAT IS WHY HE MIGHT BE ASKING YOU TO HOME SCHOOL HIM.TALK WITH HIS TEACHER AND SEE HOW HE IS WITH THE OTHER CLASSMATES. MAKE HER AWARE THAT YOU THINK SOMETHING MAYBE GOING ON IN SCHOOL, THIS WAY SHE MIGHT BE MORE OBSERVANT
AND MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO PIN POINT THE PROBLEM, ALSO ASK YOU EVER IN CHARGE OF THE LUNCHROOM TO SEE IF ANYTHING IS GOING ON.KEEP POSTED ON WHAT YOU FIND OUT.

Hi...I don't know if this will help or not. But I know my son who is ten and has always been a straight A student went through something similar earlier this year. He suddenly started bringng home D's and F's. We tried talking to him but that got us no where. We even started grounding him and taking away privledges. In the end after alot of persitance and understanding on our part was that he did not want to be diffrent. His exact words to us were "I am not going to look like a show off just to make you guys happy." Maybe this is going on with your child. Have you asked the teacher how he is getting along with the other children or even more importantly if he has befriended a child who is for lack of a better word bully. I know with Colin this was what happened. His friend Tyler has alot of emotional problems ( Not that I am saying anything negative about that I myself have a fourteen yr old with severe emotional problems.)But Tyler also struggled in school and Colin didn't want Tyler making fun of him. He wanted all the kids to like him. As do most children at this age. This is the age when peer relationships start to change, The cliques get more complicated. It is a really hard time for them especially the ones who are more sensitive, like my Colin. I wonder if this is what is going on with your son. Especially considering the fact he has asked to be home schooled.
How did we fix it? Well, basically, we just showed Colin how all of the kids are not getting poor grades. In fact most of them strive to get good grades. We pointed out to him how it is not respect Tyler is gaining it is fear. We also brought this up to the teacher to make her aware to be sure Colin is not singled out at all. And unfortunatly, we have had to discourage Colin's relationship with Tyler. He still sees him in school although they are not in the same class and on the bus. But no more playdates. And we made it very clear to Colin that those grades were not acceptable at all. We stopped with the consequences because obviously that was working anyhow. On the bright side his grades improved back to A's and B's except for Social Studies which he still struggles with but he just has a hard time in that class and therefore needs to work a little harder and needs a little more support from us there. I hope this has helped you. I know that this may not be the case with your son but it was with mine. Good luck to you and your son.
~A.