Need Some Opinions... - Arnold,MO

I think you should have as many children as you want and it's wonderful. Most of my friends have 6 or more, several have 10+.

Seriously, my bff from high school is one of 12, my dad was one of 14, only 11 grew to adulthood. I have 47 first cousins and they all got married and had about 5 kids each.

So I have a huge extended family. I can't imagine not having 100+ friends on FB that are cousins and family.

If you want more kids then go for it.

If you are able to do it physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially etc. then go for it! You won't ever wish you didn't have another---if you don't have another child, you may regret it....GL!

M

Since you ASKED for opinions here's mine. (something to think about) There are thousands and thousands of children who need homes and need a family. Can you imagine a child never being tucked in at night, never having his boos kissed, never saying Mommy? Watching other children get adopted and leave to have bedrooms and mothers and fathers? You and your husband have been so blessed to have four biological children, you can watch them grow and see your features in them and your grandchildren. You must be a very loving mother to want a 5th child. If you were to adopt, any child would be SO lucky to join your family. You feel you can afford to raise another child and you feel you have room in your home for another child, consider sharing that loving home with a child who is already here on earth, wishing for you.

I think if you can emotionally, mentally, physically, & financially handle 5 kids, then go for it.

You can always get your body back. However, it sounds like your DH can't be a huge support due to his job, and you are already stretched thin. Are you constantly stressed? Or are you mellow & have a relatively easy time with 4 kids? I'd say if you run everything like well oiled machine & think you can handle it, then go for it.

as long as you are not on public assistance - have as many kids as your budget can handle.

If you are on public assistance - IN MY OPINION - NO MORE KIDS until you can care for them on your own.

Sounds like you've got it together, and if you can handle 4, the 5 should be a snap! I once had three in diapers all at once. It's doable - you know it yourself. And as for your body, i'm in awe of you! I haven't seen my pre-baby body since before i was pregnant with my first. You'll get your body back again. Good luck super-mom!

I've got to agree with Dana. It's not just about welfare and money--our planet is experiencing a serious population boom already. Also, I love the idea of giving a child a home who really needs one--since you already have so many children biologically.

Good for you for being thoughtful about it!

God Love ya..first because you have 4 :) Second because you have 4, and want another! I agree that if you believe you are stable in all areas as far as financially, emotionally and such and you've already done such a great job as it is, then do it! Children are amazing, sure they can be rotten sometimes, but they're yours and you love 'em for it. You mention too that your husband would be willing to try for another, as well as yourself, so really, you already know you want one, and I think if you already know you want another child, then try! You say you may not be able to get pregnant again, but both of you would accept it if you did, so there is no harm in you trying, because if you succeed, then you've got another wonderful reason to live and love life everyday, besides the 4 you already have. Also, yes, you can always get your body back, and I dont think that's selfish at all, we gotta love ourselves before we can love anyone else. I only have one child, he's 8, but I would definately like to have one or two more. Hope everything works out for you, just remember, it's just one more to love, play, laugh and grow with, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Since you asked for opinions - I would consider the state of the entire planet, the carbon footprint of your family and the number of children in this world (already born) who do not have families. I recently saw a great bumper sticker - 7 billion miracles is enough.

I say GO FOR IT!!! As long as you can do it on your own without public assistance - have as many as you want!!!

There's NOTHING wrong with having a large family - but you need to be able to manage it...sounds like you are doing a lot of thinking on this....if you can budget and do it - then go for it!

If you feel that you will be able to handle the physical and emotional strain that comes from pregnancy, childbirth, and the first year or so of having a child, and you and your husband have the desire to bring another child into your family, there shouldn't be an issue. I don't know if you're worried about your age or something else, but you're a pro now, right? :D If you're wavering on the question, just give yourself time to consider the ramifications of having one more versus stopping for good. If you already know what you want, just embrace it and go for it. Good luck!

Sometimes it helps to think about how old you will be when the next one graduates HS. Will you be really old compared to other parents? And does that even matter to you? I had trouble getting the 2 kids we have. Lots of years between them and we decided by the time the 2nd one was born it was time to stop so my husband wouldnt be too old to enjoy a toddler and teenager. (he is 7 years older than me) I had always thought Id like to have 4 or 5 kids. I came from a family of 5 kids and loved it. But it wasnt the way we planned. So I did child daycare and had a house full of kids for years and somewhat satisfied my desire to mother more babies. I think you just know when you are the type who can handle having a whole bunch of kids, and you wont go crazy with the daily work of taking care of them mostly by yourself. Can you stand the idea of 2 in diapers? 4 going to school at different times, running them all over for sports and music, and Dr appts.?Can you take the constant talk talk talk at the dinner table and homework that never ends? The laundry, the discipline and love? If the answer is yes, which it would have been for me, then you are one of the few who is made to be the M. of many! If you choose to adopt its great too but there shouldnt be a limit on how many kids a family can have if they are well equipt to have them and know in ther hearts it is their calling. It would have been mine, but just didnt happen.

I think that you should go for it if you want more children. My best pregnancy was the last one I carried to term at age 39. She is a delight to all of us. We just cannot imagine life without her! You will get your body back again. And, you are in a great starting place to get pregnant... just maintain what you have already begun. By the way, I have 6 children, and I would love more. I am a SAHM also, my husband works long hours. As the children get older, if you are training them properly, they will bless you immensely by all the help they are in the home. We work together and play together. We are a close-knit family, and they all want more children in the home. They also all want to have a lot of children because they love it. My oldest is 19, my youngest is 5. I wouldn't change it for the world! If you want more children, and can conceive, don't put it off. You don't want to look back with regrets. I'm pretty sure you would never regret having the baby. But, you might regret not having one.

I have a friend with 8 and a few with 6. We have 4. If you are not burdening yoruselves or the welfare system then by all means. If you find that you can't and still want children then adopt or foster.
I see whatever you choose as a win win, If blessings were to be had, then you would have mine. .

I think if I were in your position, I might ask my OB about another pregnancy (because of the health issues). If my OB didn't recommend it, or even was hesitant, I'd give some serious consideration to adoption (although that's something I've wanted to do anyway- since childhood. I'm hoping someday....)

I don't think there's anything wrong with having as many children as you can handle. Like Gamma G, I have a large extended family. My mom was one of 15 (her oldest sister had 10) and my dad was one of 4. I have 53 (give or take 1) first cousins. I think it's wonderful when good people have large families. They raise children who turn out to be good people who go out into the world and do good things for others. I also think that God made the planet sturdy enough to handle them all :)

Blessings :)

i'm concerned about your health issues, what if trying for more you end up dying and then the children you already do have, have no mother.

I also really really agree with Dana K. great point.

We have 3 (5y, 3y, 10m). I am a SAHM and we are comfortable financially. At this point, a 4th is out of the question--as much as I'd love to add to our family--because of time! There are days I don't feel I spend enough quality time with each child. Also, I did not sign my 5 year old up for soccer this spring because it was 2 nights a week and I didn't want to leave the other two with a sitter or chase them around for an hour. (Dad is currently deployed). To me, having the *time* for another is just as important as having money, space, etc.

As an adoptive Mom, I would suggest you consider giving a home to a child who is on the earth and needs a loving mom & dad. It's a win-win...you don't have the physical stress of childbirth and a child gets a family. Believe me, you will feel about an adopted child the same way you feel about your bio children. Domestic adoption is totally possible, and if you go through your local child services division, it is free. Give it some thought!

just wait until the other 2 are out of the diaper stage and potty trained.

my mom always says you'll never regret another child. (she had 6, I am #6)

As a person very concerned about our planet, I would encourage you to adopt a child, rather than bring another child into our overpopulated world. You might find this article interesting: http://green.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/07/having-children...