S.
Hi G.,
I dont think you are a bad person.
I think it may be because you are not happy in your marriage and you remember having happy times with this other man; so naturally you would think of him.
or maybe something greater is missing from you life that is causing you to not be happy??
I was having alot of problems and unhappiness until I came back home ( to GOD). Now I give all my problems to him and I have never been happier.
try getting into a bible based church ( i recently started going to Christ Fellowship) it very friendly there and they have alot of small groups.
I hope you find happiness...again,
S.