Need Some Advice - Davenport,IA

I wouldnt have a problem talking with the director about my concerns and asking her to explain why I should feel comfortable with this behavior, Usually I put it that way so they can see that I'm open to the Idea that I'm reading to much into a situation, but often times the director would say "I didnt know this was happening" . Even if she knows that its happening, its a polite way of calling her on it and letting her know you notice and dont appreciate it. You can even ask her "Do the other mohthers feel comfortable with you leaving thier child strapped in a cart?" And clairify that the parents know whats going on.

I think its ok too to say what you expect and ask if its something they offer, if not, find another place, you are paying thier wage.
I'd say "I really like having the attention of the staff when I drop off and pick up my child and get a daily report, but they feel its appropriate to chat on the cell phone when I'm picking them up. What is policy on this so that I can make a decision if this is the right day care for my child?"

HTH. Good luck.

Hi A.:

Wow, I think I would start looking for another place. I have 4 kids and we just don't have time as working parents to be picking up the kids all the time. Could be that she's really not happy there. Maybe talking with the director first is a good idea before you make a move. I guess I'd do that first.

Good luck with everything!!

Blessings,
T.
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Go with your gut feeling and talk to the director before you take her back there. They may not even know what goes on when the 'boss' is away. It's liability for them to have careless staff...you have to assume they want only the best. If your concerns are met with indifference, def. take her out. However, if the director makes moves/changes to better the staff...maybe give it another chance. Moving her around time and time again can be harmful, as well...but you've gotta know she is safe. Your mommy instincts will tell you what to do if you follow them. God gave them to you for a reason! :)
~L.

If you dont look out for your little one no one else will. Trust your gut and take her out!There are so many daycare places and I agree if you do not really HAVE to take her to daycare join a playgroup! If my kids didnt HAVE to go they wouldnt even know what the inside of a daycare looks like! I hate the fact that I cant watch them all day. Mommys know best!

I know there are a lot of daycares out there that are great, but some aren't. I would say something to the director, they don't always know what their help is doing. I encourage all parents to drop in on their daycare unplanned, you see and hear different then when the staff knows your coming. If you are feeling unsure about anything go with your gut feeling and talk to the director. Your child should be much more important then a cell phone?

I would defintly say something its your child and thats horrible that they let them have their cell phones. Their job is taking care of the children not chatting on the phone. I have an in home daycare in C.B. Good luck!!!!

Hi A.,
If the only reason you are bringing her to a daycare is for her to play with kids her age, join a playgroup. I don't want to bad mouth all daycares because I know there are good ones out there but personally I would never leave my kids at one. They are the most precious things in our lives and to leave them with stranges and teenagers is something I could never do. If you join a playgroup she could play and you could interact with other moms. Good luck.
Chris

I agree with Kris S. The right daycare can be a blessing for both you and your child. I was always "anti-daycare" until I found the inhome daycare that my kids go to now. I don't know what I would do without her (the owner), I even named my second child after her. She is the next best thing to myself that I can give my kids while I am at work. I would NEVER send my kids to a center...number one because they are so expensive (my inhome is only 140/wk for two kids including school transportation), and number two I have much more input in my inhome than I would at a center with all their "policies" and employee turnover. My daycare is very consistant and I have never regretted sending my kids there. Let me know if you are in the Saginaw area and need an inhome, I can give you her info since she has one or two openings right now. ____@____.com

Hi A.,
I would talk with your doctor to see when kids actually need socialization with each other because mine told me to wait until at least 2-3 years of age when he would actually interact with other children. So in the mean time I just did classes with him swimming, tumbling, and go to the parks so he could be around other kids. There is a reason you are feeling unsure and you are her mom if you don't say anything no one will. Maybe you can just do a morning daycare 2-3 times a week to get her with other kids and to give you some down time to relax. If you are feeling any anxiety say something! There is a place near me where I thought about taking my son to and thank god I didn't I have heard nothing but NEGITIVE things about this place and they did the same thing strap the kids to a cart and never talk or play with them or I actually saw them walking the kids while on their cells, what the heck are they getting paid for!? Any during my nursing school a daycare was one of my rounds and my girlfriend ended up getting this daycare as one of her days and her children are there, she pulled them out of school that day and wrote a letter to the director. You never can be to sure. Good luck I hope you get it all resolved, SOON! :)

i am a care giver in my home for 3 other children besides one of my own and i love having the kids in the house. as a care giver for so few i love that i have time to cuddle with them and play with them. i would pull my child out if i didn't feel comfortable where they are-it's your child and your money. maybe try to find another mother who needs someone to child watch a few hours a week and try to trade off times. that way your child has someone to play with too.

A.,
Never second guess your gut feelings! Especially when your child is involved. I don’t mean to scare you but we just had an incident here in WI at a daycare that involved a 15 month old being hurt. The staff member who harmed the child and the staff member who just stood by and watched are both being charged with felony charges.
If anything ever seems out of the ordinary go to the owner at once. You could not only be helping your child you could be saving another child from harm.

Warmly,
T.

call health and human dept. what is the name of the daycare so I don't go there. You should try a in home daycare I think they are better just because they can give more personal attention. health and human dept can hook you up with their website for Lincensed daycare.

Hi,
You definantely have the "mother" instincts and you should listen to them. Sounds like that daycare isn't very good. If you're only sending her there to interact with other kids, you should go to mops or the YMCA. You and her would have more fun!!
If you choose to leave the daycare though, you need to let the owner know what's going on, because she may not know.
Have Fun!!

SAY SOMETHING AND DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!! My son has been in daycare since he was 5 mos old (is now 2) and you are are the only person that is in control and you can assume that you are the only that cares. If you arent happy with something and you dont say something then it cant get fixed. It took me a long time to realize there is a difference between a naggy mom and mom that cares about her childs well being and yours too!! It took me three daycares before I found one I really liked and I have learned that if you need something you need to ask for it or address the situation. Remember you are paying for a service and you put A LOT of trust in these people in caring for your child and you need to feel good about it.

A.,

I have read all of the responses so far and many of them seem to be saying that a young child doesn't need that type of social interaction and many seem to think that daycare is a terrible idea altogether. I have to disagree with that thinking and please don't feel guilty for your choices.

My daughter is an only child (we are trying for one more but that has not been working so far). She was and can still be rather clingy and shy but daycare has really helped her in that respect. Not only interacting with other children but the adults as well. (Note: my husband and I both work full-time from necessity and I was not thrilled about sending her to daycare -- at first) She is 3.5 years old now and much more confident. Certainly, she is still a shy girl, but not nearly as much as before. I've watched her develop her social skills, and much more, at a much faster rate then her cousin who is 2 years older and stayed home with mom. Of course, each child develops at his/her own speed but her older cousin was a true terror between the ages of 2.5 - 4.5 or so!

Bottom line is, daycare can be a wonderful place for children when you find the right one. My daughter has been in two different centers due to a move this summer and she has adapted fairly quickly and painlessly to the new place. When you sign up with a daycare you need to make sure that they have a program in place and structured activities during the day. The daycare she is in now even ensures that they not only meet, but beat, the requirements for the local school districts! She learns new songs all the time, does art projects to bring home every week, eats her vegetables at lunch because all the other kids are doing it (nothing short of a miracle!), has "friends" that she sees every day, has learned how to stick up for herself when someone takes a toy or hits her (another miracle for my shy little one), is learning to write her name, gets prizes for being a good listener, etc., etc., etc.

Are there bad daycares - most certainly! I don't think I could keep my daughter in a place like you described above. I work in an office and don't find cell phones appropriate during work hours so I can't condone them in a daycare. I would talk to the director to try to make things better in the meantime and then look for an alternative place. I would be more then happy to share more of my experiences with you if you are interested and give you the names of the places that I have visited/my child actually attends. I have been very lucky to find the places that I did!

BTW, I am not knocking SAHM's or play groups, etc. but I believe if you find the right place for you/your child, a daycare can be a wonderful place for development and learning in a more structured setting.

Take Care,
K

Hi A.,

I worked in day care for 5 years, and I have two kids, (each of my girls spent some time in day care) so I can see things from both sides of the coin. First of all, trust your gut! It is definately not appropriate for adults to be answering their cell phones while they have young children in their care. If this seems to be a regular issue, you should ask the director what their policy on cell-phone usage by caregivers is, this way (s)he will know you have a concern, and you'll know where they stand. Where I worked, each child had their own cubby and all of their items, including coats, blankets, notes home,etc. were kept in them, this way everything was easily accessable. If they do not have cubbies at your daycare, you might want to suggest that they get storage crates or something similar to make pick-up, drop-off a little easier. It's not really practical for kids to be in their coats ahead of time, or for workers to help with coats once Mom or Dad are there since they still have others in their care. As for the cart thing, maybe they just stopped pushing it around. Did the kids seem bored or unhappy? If it happens again, don't be afraid to ask why the kids are just sitting in the cart & not being pushed, if you don't get a sufficient answer, then you should discuss it with the director.

Give your daughter a little more time to adjust(some kids need more than others, especially if they only go part time), but if she continues to be unhappy, then you need to decide if it's just because she's away from you, or if it is because the environment is not right for her. If you're really concerned, ask to meet with the teacher, or schedule a "conference" call. Be honest, but fair when addressing staff, remember, a good facility should have your child's best interests in mind just as much as you do. I hope I've helped.

S.

You have a gut feeling something is wrong, go with your feeling. Ask the director about the personnel. Not only should your child be well taken care of at daycare but you should also feel comfortable with the people taking care of your child while you are away. Sometimes you have to be the mean mama bear, step up and I wish you luck as I have a meeting with childcare staff regarding my concerns. It may also help to talk with other mothers/parents whose children are in the same room to see if they feel the same as you....

A.,
If you are unsure of your childs wellbeing pull her. I have been in the same situation and with my daugher before and you have to follow your insticts. At 15 months she should be find to be in childcare and I would be questioning why she is crying out of control- there should be plenty for her to be occupied by that it should not be a problem.

Take sometime and look for another center for her. If you have the flexiblity do 1/2 in the AM when you are comfortable and pull her for the afternoon.

A bit about me: Happily married working mom of 5 year old daughter and #2 due in January. I have been through good and bad centers.

S.

Simple- Take your daughter out, at 15 months she dose not need to be away from you. Join a play group ata y with her, igve her some security. Mother knows best and you know you don't want your daughter in a center. If you are working and that is why she is at a center-- go to an in home.

1 - Talk to the director
2 - See what happens...were there changes...did they stick or was it just temporary. If you're still not happy, pull her out and report the center to health and human services
3 - I would also check health/human services to see if they have any infractions
4 - Don't let anyone tell you that your child doesn't need day care - that is a personal choice. BUT if you don't have to work and you're doing it just for socialization, I'd pull her out immediately. Join a playgroup, maybe put her in some kiddie classes at My Gym or the Y or something...and find a new day care.

Remember, it's hard for them to get used to day care if they've been home with you. So start slow...maybe every other day for a few hours...then add some more days...then add some more hours...take it slow.
Good luck! You're the only advocate your child has and mommy intution is never wrong!

I think you should pull her out, if they have to call you for crying then they are obviously not trained well. I'm also very concerend about the fact the kids were left in a cart alone. SAFETY SAFETY SAFETY!!! Please send me the name of the center, I want to make sure that it isn't one my child goes to.
Always trust your gut. Also Talk to the Director, if you talk to the teacher things don't always get done (speaking from experience).

You definately should voice your concerns with the director, if it doesn't get better I would pull her out!! You pay good money for them to take good care of her, and they should also give their attention to you when you come to pick her up. Sounds like you have an untrained staff at that center.

Also,if you need daycare because you are working or going to school I understand, but if your only reason is for her socialization, I would fing a mother/daughter playgroup instead. A 15 month old only needs her parents.