Need Reality Check About Preschool

Honestly, I don't think standing on a swing is that bad. I did it ... my kids do it. You would probably faint if you saw my 5-yr old launch herself off a swinging swing (from a sitting position)!! My opinion: don't sweat this one.

Honestly, I think you would do well to either find another school or home school with lots of outside activities.

IMO, you seem VERY sensitive to all things around you and how you percieve they may affect your son. You appear to be a hyper vigilant parent who seeks meaning behind all situations. This is merely my observation based on reading your MANY questions about this daycare and child safety in general.

Considering this I think, if it were me, I would have to either change schools or make a very serious effort to lighten up. Again, I don't mean this rude and I do not know you. I am merely stating my opinion. It is obvious you want the very best for your son. Kudos for that.

I'm going to be honest, with the fear that I might come across as mean. I hope I don't, because it's not my intention.

It seems like you are a very good candidate for homeschooling. You seem to be VERY sensitive about everything surrounding your child. You can't police and protect every moment and experience your son has. Neither can his teachers. They shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do that. (I don't know if you do, I'm just saying in general.) The things that have bothered you, will be common occurrences in any preschool you see in America, or abroad. If these are the reasons you leave a school over, you will never find a school to stay at.

I get you want your son to be safe, and that's good parenting. However, do you want him to be scared of everything? Do you want him to be so sheltered, that he doesn't experience the typical things every kid does? I don't know realistically, just how protective you are. That is something very hard to gauge without knowing a person. You may not be as protective as you seem. In any case, I think lightening up really might do you (and your son) some good!

I hope I don't come across as mean because that is not my intention, I promise! :)

First off, I wouldn't really worry about it. It wasn't your child, and I think you really need to pick your battles with this preschool. You've been through a lot with them already, and as you've already stated, where you are, things are not like they are here in the US. The school may have different standards and you may have to learn how to deal with that.

When you go to a foreign country, you have to be prepared for the cultural norms to be different, and if you are going to live there for awhile, you should adjust to tghe cultural norms.

With that said, you have posted a lot of questions about this particular preschool and you've had a lot of concerns about it. I wonder if you mght want to consider changing schools, because, to me, you don't seem entirely happy with this one. Just a thought.

Good luck.

Jilly, you really don't seem comfortable with this school. You have so many concerns over things which seem frankly minor to me. I know we are all different but please look at the bigger picture. You either like the school and trust in the staff or you don't. If you trusted the staff and environment then all these little things wouldn't get to you. The fact that you are constantly questioning what they are doing tells me that you DON'T trust the staff and maybe it's time to start looking for something else.
Preschool is supposed to be fun. You should feel good when you drop your child off and not have to worry so much. I hope you can find a place that gives you that peace of mind!
p.s. I have a photo of my daughter at age 3 or 4 standing up on a swing at preschool, taken by the staff, so apparently it was okay with them, and I never even questioned it :)

Not a hill worth dying on. If your child isn't one of the ones doing the behavior of which you do not approve, then leave it alone. There is nothing inherently dangerous about pre-schoolers standing on swings.

Keep your powder dry. Wasn't your kid, so your complaint would be tangential at best, and risk being labeled a troublemaker at worst.

Let it go until/if something happens to YOUR kid, and then hit them with "this isn't the first time you've let safety slide"....

It'll make your case 100x stronger...then. But now, you're just going to be the squeeky wheel.

Is it the fact that the child was standing on a swinging swing? Or that it appeared that the child was disobeying the teacher? It sounds more like the teacher was minding the child and giving a warning to be careful. If you're trying to interpret another language there are often nuances you might be missing. I sometimes misunderstand my mother-in-law's Italian. She might sound to my ear like she's telling the kids to "sit down because that is dangerous" when in fact what she said was that the kids SHOULD sit down because it COULD be dangerous. The difference there is she's leaving it up to the kids... and while she might tend to their wounds and not feel badly if they fall, she's still keeping an eye on them. Sort of a benign neglect, if you will.

So nuance and tone would make a huge difference to me in the situation.

The teachers aren't going to have much cred with the kids if they don't follow through with their commands.

But my opinion about standing on a swing? I'm probably in the minority, but I come from an era when kids' every movement wasn't protected: we had teeter-totters and ran around unsupervised and walked to school alone at 5 years old. Now kids have to be kept so safe they can barely play. For me, I think kids should be able to stand on a swing, but if the teachers are going to give a rule, they need to uphold it.

As to whether you should say anything, that's your decision.

Could the kids get themselves swinging very high if they were standing up?... I assume no one was pushing them. If I saw a 4 year old swinging high while standing up it would alarm me very much. But if they were just standing and not swinging hard at all, I don't think it's a big deal. I used to do it a ton. So kind of depends... I think I'd have an issue with the lack of discipline but it would depend on the overall picture. If you're generally comfortable with the safety of the school, then not an issue. Sounds like maybe yo'ure not though.

I have not read any of your other posts so I will just address this one.

I would not care if my 4 year or kids in his/her class were swinging standing up. I don't really see it as any more dangerous than sitting down. They are holding on. While swinging sitting down you could let go and fall backwards (which all 3 of my kids have done). Standing up is the same but when letting go they may have a better chance to land on their feet. Think about it and make a list - what more could go wrong swinging standing up vs swinging sitting down? Both ways you can break a leg, both ways you could break a bone, both ways you could get a concussion. Maybe it will make you feel better.

I used to hang upside down from bars, and play on merry go rounds, play on the tire swing, and drink tap water. I think what you're describing is "kids being kids".

I remember some of your other posts, and I have to say that it seems like you are very paranoid & overly over protective. So much so, that I don't think you'd be satisfied with any child care setting, other than your own home.

Jilly, I think that most people are missing the point that you are overseas. The laws and expectations are different from the US - including possible lawsuits. The cultural aspects are different too.

Preschool is far different from regular school. I urge you not to homeschool your child. Living overseas provides such a great opportunity to look outside of the American Box that most Americans are used to. Your child can become bilingual so easily, can learn about the mannerisms, etc. It is harder for you than it is for her.

When my son was 8 years old, he was playing on a swing and jumping off of it. I told him over and over to stop jumping off the swing, that he would fall and hurt himself. He decided not to listen to me because he didn't believe it. He ended up giving himself a green stick fracture in his wrist.

Now, he's older than a preschooler. But like kids needing to learn the lesson, the teachers will most likely have to learn the lesson thee hard way too. Let's just ope it isn't with your child.

So, perservere and just try to be patient and understanding about the cultural differences. I know it's hard, but remember that there are so MANY benefits, not just problems.

Dawn

I think that we are a bunch of worrywarts...many other cultures just are not America. The way I would handle this is to drop my child out.

If you are still worried about his safety after months of telling them they aren't keeping the kids safe and they have not changed that tells you...They are never going to treat the kids like home. So choose, take him or don't.