Need Potty Training HELP!!

I admit first up that I haven't done potty training yet, so I'm only speaking from advice I've received from trusted friends/relatives, but they all say that punishments never work whereas rewards do. I've been told a thousand times that when it comes time to potty train, I should give tons of praise and encouragement for successes, but treat setbacks and errors as neutral.

I've been told that using punishments does indeed foster the defiant attitude, or worse, make the kid all tense, uptight, and more prone to failure.

Also, one of the reasons we use cloth diapers is because disposables discourage potty training. That's why the disposable companies are now coming out with pull-ups that get cold when wet, because they've realized that kids have no impetus to potty train if they're dry and comfy with super-absorbant diapers. So if you use disposables, perhaps try switching to cloth or at least the disposables that get cold.

Well she is'nt even 3 yet. why are you pushing it so hard? Kids will potty train when THEY'RE ready. there is nothing we can do as parents to rush that process. I thought the same thing with my daughter. For her 1st b-day I bought her a potty chair because my friend's daughter was potty training at 1 and she did great but she also WANTED to do it. No one forced her. In fact they cought her peeing in a bucket one time right after she learned how to walk and new that's when she wanted to potty train. Mine on the other hand did'nt finish the training process until she was about 3 years and 3 months old. and I was trying for so long. but the preschool I had her at tought her because she was ready but not until all the other kids were doing it. I would'nt be taking things away from her because she wont go int he potty. all that's gonna do is make her self esteem lower because it's just something she CANT do for you. she is'nt ready. just go back to diapers. she'll let you know when she is ready. and if it's the school that having the problem, just change schools, there not that smart there if they don't know this already. I know 4 year old who still is'nt potty trained she only has 1 more year after this till her kindergarden starts. but her parents arent worried.

Hi A.!

We just potty trained our daughter over the summer at 3.5 yrs. She had absolutely no desire and couldn't care less about being wet, losing movies, toys, etc. She just didn't care! She had to be trained for preschool so I was really nervous since we were 6 weeks away from starting. Anyway, I did the 3-Day Crash Course with her. It worked for the most part. However, she would have an accident every now and then. She started school and was fine. About a month into school, she was having accidents all the time - home, school, wherever! The teachers were suggesting I have her checked for an infection. I kind of started training her over again and went back to using stickers. All of a sudden she stopped and has been fine ever since. I do still carry extra clothes with me just in case.

Do you have any potty training videos? I had my daughter watch Potty Time with Bear in the Big Blue House. I don't know if that helped or not, but after I made her watch it about 5 times the accidents stopped.

My point is, we went backwards too for a little while. At first, I would say maybe your daughter isn't ready, but if she was only having 1-2 accidents a week, she knows what's she doing. Is there anything going on at school that could be bothering her?

Like the other mom said, use rewards instead of punishment. I also agree with the attention. I would give my daughter tons of attention when she would go potty. I would even read her a book and show her that I would still be there for her when she went potty, not just when she had an accident. I made going to the potty fun.

I'd love to send my son to school now but he's not trained, I thought he was trained bt really "I" was. He started doing it on purpose like I'd say "common lets go to the potty and he would pee right there in the middle of a store or where ever. He would wait till it was bedtime and I put a night night diaper on him and go #2 imediatly. So we delayed school and took the potty and put it away and have him back in diapers, and a few times every day he runs to the potty on his own and a few times he just does his buisness right where he is. We make him change his own diapers too so I think he's getting tired of having to go upstairs every time he wets himself while there is a bathroom right down here. Good luck. Oh also my mother inlaw had to crash potty train my husband to put him in school so she stuck him outside naked with a potty and only 1 toy and by the end of the day he got it. That may work for you, my son will never go on the floor when he is naked.

I agree with what the other mom said, REWARDS not punishments are the key to potty training. With my cousin, it was a pair of red satin panties with ruffles...she wanted them SOOO badly but she couldn't get them until she hadn't had any accidents for a week. She had them a week later. Ask her what she would like as a reward if she can be accident free for a certain period of time. Maybe something small if she makes it through a day and a bigger reward if she makes it a week with no accidents. Make a chart with a picture of the goal and a place for stickers each day she makes it...that way she is reminded of what she is working for (and my boys love to put stickers on everything).

Could she be trying to get extra attention with her "accidents"? Even if it's negative attention she could be getting what she wants when she get attention for having accidents.

Also, has anything else changed that may have caused the back sliding? My older son had made great progress towards potty training but when his brother was born(he had just turned 3)...everything went right out the window and we had to start potty training again from square one a few months later. It was a set back for us (I hadn't wanted two in diapers) but not something unexpected.

Just be patient with her and heap on the praise when she does make it to the potty.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you need to chill. Your daughter is only a baby (you probably still count her age in months) and obviously not ready for potty training. You, not she, are making this a test of wills AND teaching her what your hot buttons are. What is the big push to get her potty trained? Accidents in day care or school or whatever should not be such a big deal (she's still in diapers, right?) - especially at only 3 years old. You need to hold off with the punishments and save them for things that really matter and keep the rewards in perspective - in time, having dry underclothes becomes a reward in itself.