Need Opinions About Husband's Activity

I just have to say that this similar story has happened to a friend of mine and her marriage went on and continues to be today. I would first speak to the girl (without your husband knowing) talk to her ask questions but do not lead her to answers. tell her woman to woman that you need to know the truth about this whole issue so that you and your family can get past this hurt and be happy again. Be prepared for another story than the one you heard from your husband. Women feel compassion for each other and if you work on that with this woman she will most likely tell you all the details which you need to hear. If, she does validate your husbands story then accept that and try to move on. When you decide that all the questions are answered and that all the lies are uncovered then you need to forgive and let it go. If you find out that he has lied again, request a meeting with the girl and him together, tell him the things she said and get him to be honest. Then forgive and let it go. One thing catches my eye is the about you part "married to my Prince Charming" after everything you still call that. It must mean that you are willing to forgive. The only way is the air out all of the dirty laundry. Then work on healing. Explain to him that you may forgive but the memory of this issue is painful and you may need to talk about for several months before you can completely let it go. By the way, since you found this site you must have some internet experience. If you go to office depot or best buy or other stores similar you can purchase tracking software for your computer. This software can be installed easily and without any tracability, it allows you to go back and watch all the items and stuff done on your computer everytime it is turned on. You get screen shots and passwords that are not blocked out. If you have to install it and monitor the things going on with your computer when you have time at home and he's not there. Many parents use this type of software for spying on thier kids computer time. A salesman from a computer store can help you find the right one. Good luck.

S.,

Wow, I am so sorry that this has happened to you and I am not sure what I would do in your situation. I am not 100% sure that I would do what the previous person wrote and actually meet this girl behind your husbands back or at all. This could really be setting yourself up for further problems. Not only would this cause more issues with you and your husband but she could also say you are harrassing her or something OR worse try to push the issue further with him to get you back. Who knows what these homewreckers think. You did the right thing by confronting your hubby right away and trying to get it all out in the open. I would not let your guard down for some time. He needs to really know and understand what he did was wrong that that you are serious and WILL NOT allow it to happen again. I am not saying to make him pay for this for years to come or to make life in your home miserable but what I am saying is don't just let it go. Now, to be honest, I would still watch for signs. I would still probably also check on emails and history of Yahoo IM. You can do this (as long as he did not block it) by going into the Yahoo IM area (where you see his friends names), click on Messanger, click on privacy options - then click on the left side tab "Archive" - there, you will be able to view the archive of his IM's. I know this still to some degree is continuing this type of sneeky behavior but this is just something I think I would do to make sure he is not continuing to lie. It is possible that he is smart enough to be scared from the fact that you did find out. You just need to keep your ears and eyes open. You need to protect yourself, your son....your family. I really hope you two can work this out, it will not be easy. My cousin went through the same thing however they were not married (close to it though) and no kids....she did continue to check up on him (emails, phone records - that is a bit extreme but she was desperate at the time) and it is because of those that she figured out he was never going to change. I hope it all works for you and your family and I hope he does not do this again. I wish you the best and please keep up posted on the outcome.

hey S., my name is kristy. Your husband sounds exactly like mine. Its crazy. My fiance actually. He works out of town a lot, has secret email accounts that i have found but only I found out mine was on sex websites looking for local women. He said it was innocent fun but i cant trust him. I also found a brush in his work truck, and recently found earrings under the couch at this place we are at now in wa. It just seems like the more i try to get past things and make our relationship work the more things i find. He also tells me that he would never cheat on me because family is the most important thing to him because he never had one. My only advice is that if you are happy in your relationship then try as hard as you can to make it work. When you become unhappy it effects everyone around you and it will effect your son. I am doing the same thing right now. I will never know if he is cheating on me or not so I have to try and trust him or I will have to leave him. We are actually taking a break right now trying to figure things out. I wish the best for you, I know that it is a very complicated situation. I investigate, but i dont recomend that, it makes everything worse and makes me way more suspicious. It also causes a lot more fights. Then again that is how i found the brush and the earrings. I dont know, I think I would have been happier if i didnt find them. Well who knows. If you love him and he loves you and he still treats you like a beautiful Queen, you guys can make it work.

All I can say is follow your heart. It will never lead you wrong. Think of that beautiful baby boy, and what type of male role model you want in his life and what type of man you want him to be. You have alot to think about. Pray about it. Only you can make the final decision about what you should do. Being in love is never easy. Just try to work through your feelings. Seek counseling, try talking to your pastor. Engage in marriage counseling and/or retreat. You will do something; just don't do it too hastily without thinking it through.