Need Nap Advice!!!!!

Some kids don't need much daytime sleep. My daughter didn't. The best we could do was get her to play quietly. She drove her preschool bananas because she was the only one who wouldn't sleep.

I have two daughters, 20 months and 2 3/4. My 2 year old has never been a good napper. So now, there are days she decides shes not napping. I put her in her room at the regular nap time. She usually plays for a while but eventually naps. On the days she plays instead of napping, she goes to bed a little earlier. She may not want to nap but she still needs that quiet time, me too.

My daughter was never a good napper either. At this age, I still had quiet time. I would put her in her bed and tell her it was quiet time. Sometimes she'd read a book or play with a puzzle, but it was down time. I would only require 1 hour of quiet time. Also, you may try giving your son a sticker when he completes the quiet time as a reward.

Been there and done that. My first son was never much of a napper right from infancy. When number two came along, my first was almost two. Why I thought I could suddenly turn him into a good napper is beyond me. He'd never been a napper before - why should a new baby turn him into one? For my convenience? :0) I finally learned the trick. Want to know it? The change had to happen within ME!!! It was up to me to stop the battle, stop the insanity. Children are individuals. They are who they are. Acceptance is the key.

You need to deal with reality. The kid just isn't much of a napper. Never has been. Trying to force it will only make everybody miserable. Crying it out isn't an option, or locking him in his room. He is your beloved son. Switch from nap time to quiet time. Snuggle time. Or try a group nap. Be consistent. Be calm. Try soothing music, warm milk. If he feels your tension and your rush, he will never go to sleep. But don't battle. don't drive yourself nuts. And for goodness sake, don't worry about short-changing your new baby. Most second kids are easygoing by nature. They do not have the detriments of a first-time mom, or a perfectly quiet house, and so they learn to be flexible right from the start. Your baby will be just fine. It is the two year old whose life has been drastically changed. Give him the attention he needs. He is two! And you are now the mother of two. You may have envisioned spending quality time with the baby while the older one napped. Not realistic.

My oldest is 23 now, by the way, and still doesn't need much sleep. Number two is 21, and can sleep through ANYTHING! And there are two more. All boys. Each very different. Different habits, different patterns, different developmentally, different in every way. Acceptance is the name of the game. Once you accept that your son is who he is, a light sleeper and not much of a napper, everything will be much easier.

hmmm...i also have a 2 year old..well almost 28 month old now..and he's napping better than ever..i always struggled w/ his naps etc..but i made sure he took them and it has paid off..i make sure he naps at the exact same time every day..if he's struggling to sleep i push it back..i also ..believe it or not..give him a bottle..only 1 a day and at nap time..and yes i brush his teeth after his nap. but it's gotten to the point where i'll snuggle w/ him on the couch and watch tv to prepare him and relax him before his nap..baby developement channel also has some night time relaxation show that you can tivo and play at naptime..this triggers his body and he knows it's time to rest..then i say.."ba ba time" and he gets up and runs to his crib and climbs in himself and there in the crib waiting for him is almost 4 oz's of milk w/ a shot of chocolate milk in it..yep..and he relaxes and drinks it and goes to sleep..sometimes for almost 3 hours...and this is a child that really fought naps..i thought he was giving them up at 22 months..
but nope..just a phase ..when he did that i started making sure we were out and about and at naptime i would put him in the stroller and he would crash and that got him back on track w/ falling asleep at 1:30pm.
He's up in the morning anytime between 7am and 8:30 am..8:30 is rare.
if i hear him cry out during his nap ..i wait..i don't rush in there..sometimes he just makes some sounds and goes back to sleep.
Your son enjoys your company and knows you'll come get him..
maybe that's why he wakes? also my son goes to bed at night at 8:30pm ..we go outside to look for the moon..and he watches the relaxation show..but is usually making himself very busy b/c he knows it's bedtime but then 8:30 comes and i fly him into bed..so i carry him and spin him around like he's flying thru the air..no bottle at bedtime..only naptime..i swear that's the ticket..i also make sure he's outside running around for at least an hour before naptime and he gets DHA oil at 10:30am....are u using that? helps them be happier and good for the brain and heart..seems like when i skip it ..his nap is shorter.

Have you heard of the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" I think that's what it's called...I can't find my copy right now. I know you said you tried everything, but I swear by this book! My one year old will sleep through almost anything (if he's in his bed) He shares a room with 2 brothers (3 and 5 1/2) and they never wake him up. It definitely could be my son's temperament. But I have used this book with all 3 and they are all pretty sound sleepers! It has advise for all ages on how to get them to sleep well. It definitely is something to try (since you have sooooo much time on your hands to read a book...ha-ha) Hopefully you will find something to help you soon!

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I have 2 choices for you. With my daughter she gave up naps completely by age 2 so every day we had a routine of her watching a Disney movie during nap time. I put her on my bed put in the movie and closed the door. She was not allowed to get up or bother me until the movie was over. She did great. Now with my son he wouldn't be still enough for a movie so when it was time for a nap we climbed into the car and went for a drive. I took the same route so I didn't have to think much. We drove until he fell asleep. Most of the time it was pretty quick but sometimes I drove the route 3 times til he was good and asleep. It might seem like a lot of work but I'm telling you it was worth it for me to get a break and him not to be grouchy. I transfered him quietly into his bed when we got home.Sometimes I just brought him in his car seat and all if that's what it took. No more battles Good Luck, D. G.

I swear by quiet time, and so did my mom. I (myself) will put on some music and tell my daughter that she can't get up until the music ends. She is pretty good about being quiet, though she is only 15 months. It lets me relax and helps us get through the day...=)
Good luck
R.

I think Laura A. hit it right on the head. Quit trying to fight it. It sounds to me like he's outgrown nap time. My son was the same way and the moment I realized he wasn't going to nap, as much as I wanted and needed him to, the more peaceful our house was. We moved his bedtime up and just had quiet time right after lunch.
Good luck.

Your making matters worse for you if you sit in his room and wait til he falls asleep, then he will expect you to do this every time. MOm he might just not be a long time napper, and thats that. If you need to have your time then put him in the crib or bed say its time to nap , then walk out can he get up on his own, crawl out of his crib. You don't having a closed locked door , Neither did I so after a long mistake we made by sitting at my sons bed for and I yell 2 LONG YEARS, I finally had enough I had my hubby take his door down and cut it in half, the door was high enough he could not climb out and we put the lock on the other side of the door, if he would not nap or go to sleep at night , he would get up and play in his room, I could still hear him or see him and he did not feel afraid of a closed locked door, it was the best thing we ever did .

Good Luck

Hate to say it, but it sounds like he doesn't need a nap anymore! They only need 12-14 hrs. total. My 16 mth. old doesn't need a lot of sleep. Ironically, my 4.5 yr. old almost needs more! We all have different sleep needs--even kids. I say, move up his bedtime an hour and stop exhausting yourself with this battle. Or, if it's the only thing you can do to stay sane--do the car thing--at least for a few days to give yourself a break. The other option is to just insist he has "quiet time" and has to stay in his bed "reading" until you tell him he can come out. Especially with a new baby he may want to be with you--in which case, just have him sit quietly next to you and read to him while with the baby. My pediatrician says that kids won't sleep if they don't feel safe, so maybe he's just extra needy being a big brother and all now.

N.
At age 2 1/2 I stopped putting my son for a nap. The 2 hours that it was taking me to settle him down was not worth the trouble. Yes, he was exhausted and really needed one, but after 6 months of fighting it just wasn't worth it. He would just go to bed early without any fight at all. I too had a 4 month old at this time. Now that he is 4, he still doesn't settle for a nap, but I do make him take "Quiet time" while his sister is napping. Even though he isn't sleeping, there is no T.V or radio because everyone needs that time to take a breather. He must play quietly with one of his toys and I usually can take a little rest while in the same room as him. I am not completely asleep as I can hear him playing and talking but letting my eyes and body rest for a bit really helps me get through the day. I hope this helps!

i feel that he must create his own method of self-soothing and sleep patterns. The more you intervene, the more you will be the involved. He may have to have a few days of discomfort. Crying . etc, until he figures out it's up to HIM and not you to help him sleep. He can act like he's dying or being tortured the first time you let him cry, but it will help him greatly for his own sense of autonomy. He's OK! You can tell him, that he doesn't have to sleep but he has to stay in his bed. no negotiation. Explain every step to him. Be calm and loving.
Also, you said he was 2. If he is teething, getting his two year molars or if there is any big changes going on in your life, you would want to wait.
you want to be postiive, upbeat and empowering to him. how great he is, how he is such a good sleeper. Sweet dreams. You have to love him enough to let him have a little discomfort so he can learn, on his own, how to sleep. Best wishes and good luck.

Not every child requires a long nap. Some do much better on short ones. It may play well to try to get just quiet times with older and younger one. When I nursed younger one. I read book to older one. When I changed diaper of younger one, older one was assisting me with bringing diaper or just being supportive watching. So try a different tactic and not stress the sleep aspect. Susi

Sleep battles are no fun, I feel ya there, especially with a new one in the house! Your son is probably using nap time to get your attention now that there's a new baby in the home taking up more of your time, but of course you need to be the parent and take charge.

Based on what you wrote, it sounds like there isn't a lot of consistency in your method. I say decide on a method and stick with it. Routine is the best way to let your son know that it's nap time. Him being able to only fall asleep while you're there is probably the waking-up culprit because he hasn't learned how to fall asleep on his own. If you're there when he falls asleep and then he wakes up and finds that you're not there, of course he's going to be upset. He needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep. I suggest soothing him only to the point that he is calm and then let him know that you're leaving the room but you'll be just in the other room if he needs you (or something that signals to him that he needs to sleep. I always say to my son at nap time just as I'm leaving, "ni-night, I love you, see ya later alligator" and at bedtime, "ni-night, I love you, see you in the morning.") If he cries again, go back in but only until he is soothed and then repeat the same thing that you said before. It also helps to greet him the same way when nap/bed time is over. In the morning I open up the door and say "good morning!" and I'll usually sing the good morning song from Singing in the Rain. After his nap I go in and say, "good afternoon!" If he doesn't nap for more than an hour and I know he needs more sleep, I'll go in there quietly, check to make sure he hasn't had a bowel movement, and then soothe him again (I rub his belly and whisper to him that it's still ni-night time and he needs to sleep). Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't, but I find that if I'm consistent more often than not he'll cooperate.

Also, one other thing you didn't mention for sure, but it sounds like he may have already graduated to a big boy bed based on the fact that you sit on his bed and would have to "lock" him in his room. Maybe he's still too young to be out of a crib?

I do like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and still refer to it when need be, but here are also two other great ones that other moms have suggested to me on here and address more than just the sleep by itself (because sleep issues aren't always just sleep related):

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

You do need to wean your 2 year old off having you present to fall asleep. It's not going to work for you until he goes to sleep on his own because he will continue to own you for nap and you won't get any breaks in the day. When our son was 2 he slept no problem but we did do CIO at a year and even though it was hard it was beneficial for all of us. I know you aren't interested in CIO and honestly at the age of 2 I don't think it would work out well but you need to get him out of the routine of being there to help him sleep because it doesn't work unless you plan to do it for the next few years. You might have to pull a SuperNanny and slowly move yourself out of his room for naps until he can go to sleep on his own. There is nothing wrong with him relying on himself to sleep, in fact it's better for him to rely more on himself at this stage. You can't coddle him forever and he needs to develop himself as a person because you won't be around forever to guide him.

You may have tried this, but if not.... Try playing music, soft music for your little one. I'm a preschool teacher and get 12 kids to sleep every day. They're required to stay on their mat, stay quiet, and listen to the music. Sometimes a few need light backrubs, but the majority fall asleep within minutes. Find music that is soft, soothing, and doesn't have words. Hopefully this works for your light sleeper. Yes, some of the preschool two-year-olds are also light sleepers and this still works for them. Good luck!

Info about a really helpful sleep book for infants through teens! I used it w/both my babies and it worked like a charm! You will find step by step instructions on how to teach your toddler to sleep well and on his own! Good luck.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

P.S. I've NEVER heard of a 2 year old that doesn't need a nap anymore!!!! :-)