Hi Moms. I'm sure this has been posted before but I just had to throw this out there again. We have 3 kiddos, 7, 5 and 3. The oldest and youngest are great in the morning. The 5 year old is the complete opposite. She is very difficult to awaken and then when she is up and dressed she is very cranky, defiant and/or mean. We've been in school since mid September so I'm pretty sure she's adjusting to the routine. She's a happy kid otherwise, loves school and usually gets along with her siblings. My question is this - how do I make our morning better? I dread waking her up and I'm sure my other two are getting tired of the routine we go through. We have tried rewarding her for good behavior, we've let her go to school with barely a bite to eat (I know it sounds mean but at this point we mean business), we've talked to her about her behavior, asked her if something is wrong but we get nowhere. We end up getting so frustrated that she inevitably gets yelled at one point or another. She's not much of an eater in the morning so I've even offered her instant breakfast drinks right off the bat in hopes of waking her up and giving her a little energy. I feel awful by the time we leave for school due to the struggle we have with her. She gets at least 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night so I'm pretty sure she's rested. We will take any advice you can give us. My husband tries so hard with her too - sometimes I feel like we're doing the good cop, bad cop routine! Thanks in advance.
Thank you so much for the wonderful and heartfelt advice! I started putting her to bed 1/2 hour early tonight. No complaints either and all my kids got in bed early! My other plan is to use a reward system for her. We talked about it tonight before bedtime and I think it might just give her a little incentive to try a little harder in the mornings. You've all been terrific and I truly appreciate all of your ideas. I'll let you know how mornings with Super K turn out!!
My brother used to be like that. He was still doing it when he grew up and was drafted into the military. They had the dr look at him and found his blood sugar dips VERY low while he is sleeping.
Try waking her with a snack in hand. Some juice and graham crackers maybe. It's worth a try for a more peaceful morning.
My son who just started kindergarten gets up by himself eats and dresses mostly without being told now he did receive an alarm clock for his birthday and loves it.He gets plenty of sleep and he has always been a happy rise and shine kid now my other 2 are the same way if only I can learn from them.What time do you wake her does she have enough time to get up eat dressed maybe a quick shower without being rushed.Maybe if time allows wake her up last and hopefully she'll get a better understanding that everyone else is ready to go.Good Luck and start giving her consequences for the choices she is making in the morning.
Oh boy K. can I relate! One of our nine-year-old twins is the same way. He can be a real bear in the morning. He does better for his dad than for me, but he is not the morning person! I imagine that when he is an adult, he will have to drink a cup of caffeinated coffee everyday just to get his day started!
We try to make getting up as "fun" as possible by letting him cuddle with the dog for a few minutes. Also, just "guiding" him through the routine without speaking helps. If he isn't expected to answer any questions or do much else, then he "lets" us help him to the table, etc. He usually eats very little, then brushes his teeth. His school lets the students bring a healthy snack to school so we know that he "eats" later. Some kids are just not morning people and probably never will be despite any amount of sleep. Just hang in there and ignore as much as you can. If the attitude is too rude, then you will have to give consequences. We have found that saying very little, "guiding" him to the breakfast table, not engaging him in conversation, and having everything ready to go out the door (set up the night before)has made a big difference. Good luck and be glad today is Saturday!
K.
Have you tried waking her up before anyone else and giving her lots of time to wake up on her own and be by herself. I have always been a grump in the morning and without time to wake up alone and get myself together I get mean. Especially when Im late I get really upset. When I was younger like 9 or10 even if things would upset me in the morning I would cry and be so emotional. I am even that way now sometimes. Maybe if you dont want to get up even earlier try giving her an alarm clock. Maybe she just needs to be in charge of her own wake up process. With limits of course.
My oldest daughter was the same way. She still is at times. She is just not much of a morning person. One thing that we did when she was younger was to have her dress in what she was going to wear the next day. I went out and bought her some clothing that would be comfortable to sleep in and that wouldn't wrinkle (such as the legging style pants instead of jeans). This helped make the mornings a little bit easier anyway. One less thing to fight about. I would also lay out (or have her do it) the night before the cooridnating socks/shoes, hair accessories, etc. I would make sure her back pack was always kept in the same place so we were never searching for it, that type of thing. I couldn't do anything about her attitude but would I could do in order to reduce some of the stess was to find shortcuts and be well prepared. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. But try that tip and see if it works =)
My daughter is grouchy in the morning, too. What has worked for us is that I go in and quietly tell her that she can sleep for 10 more minutes. Then I go in and give her a calm, quiet "5 more minutes" and open her blinds and leave the room. When it's time to get up, she knows it. Also, I let her eat WHATEVER she wants for breakfast. Somedays it's PopTarts, other days it's yogurt. Even if it's a not-too-healthy breakfast, I figure she has two other meals to make up for it. Whatever it takes to get her day going.
If she is particularly grumpy, I let her know in no uncertain terms that her attitude is not acceptable. I'm tired too and I have to go to work, too. We can start this day on a positive note, or not. I don't raise my voice, just state the facts. It's not fair to the rest of the family that she sets a negative tone for the day (I'm referring to my kiddo, not yours!!!)
Anyway, it sounds like she's just not a morning person - I'd give her that to a certain point, but if she gets nasty, it's time for a talk!
My daughter is not a morning person and so far things are going pretty easy, though I am waiting for it to change. About a year ago we started laying out clothes for the week. I got the gallon bags and labeled them with the day of the week and the name of the child (I have 3). My 5 year old picks out her clothes, underwear and socks and put them in the bag. We have them in a drawer easy to grab. Her backpack is ready to go by the door. I don't buy cereal, so I normally have pancakes or french toast already made. I wake her up and then go heat her breakfast and have it waiting for her when she comes down. And she can eat it on the way if we are running late. There are some mornings that I have to keep prodding her to get up. It has made mornings so much easier, especially if I have to get the other kids up to take her to school. All of us can be ready from waking up to walking out the door in less than an hour. I don't know how your daughter sleeps (like if she moves around alot). I have also some nights after baths did the kids' hair and it has stayed in and had to comb it and add barrets or ribbons or whatever. I am not a morning person either, so I tried to get everything done as much as I can the night before to make it easy. In high school, I used to get myself ready and then lay down on the couch until my siblings were ready to go. Another suggestion is to get her up a little earlier and have her shower/bathe in the morning to get her a little jumpstart.
My stepson was never much of a morning person and I had to learn to just basically leave him alone for the first 30 minutes or so that he was out of bed. Maybe you could wake her up 30 minutes before the other two...let her just sort of vegetate on the sofa or read a book or something else that was agreeable to her...then see if she was ready to join the morning routine. I wonder if a glass of orange juice first thing in the morning would give her the "boost" that she needs to get started???
I think the advice that the other Mom already gave you was great too...keep it as simple as possible in the mornings.
R. Ann
What about moving her bedtime up until she has a better time getting up, kids have different sleep needs so maybe she needs more. Make sure everything is ready for her to get dressed and make breakfasts easy, I just heard a report that said people get their bone strength by the time they're 17 and that they need vitamins C and D which they could best get by eating cereal with milk in the morning, so don't feel bad giving them a healthy cereal.
I have to agree that taking a shower in the morning will get them moving, my kids did lots better after showers and still can't get going unless they have one. She just might not be a morning person and will never be better and you will just have to let her know that she will have to be ready at a certain time no matter what. Hope you can de-stress your mornings!
sometimes if you slowly wake them up that can help. like, go in once and turn on the light, leave it on and tell her, "your getting up in 10 minutes" then go get the other 2 up, then go in and tell her, "time to get up in 5 minutes" go get the other kids situated with breakfast, get hers set out, and then go tell her its time to get out of bed. sometimes the warnings will make things a little easier!
L. C.
Personally, I would try her with more sleep. If she is hard to wake than she probably needs more sleep. Ten to eleven seems a lot from our perspective but some kindergarten age kids need twelve or at least a consistent 11 hours. If you don't see a difference after trying more sleep for a while than perhaps it is her personality and she is not a morning person. You said that this has been the routine since mid-September. I am assuming this is a new routine. What was her routine before? Is this new behavior? What worked or didn't work before? Was she easy to wake up before school started?
Is she a kid who thrives on routine? Is she strongwilled? Does she have a hard time with transitions? Are some things more of a battle than others? Perhaps having her help make a chart for the morning routine and ritual would help. If she is a nonreader, pictures or photographs are helpful.
It sounds like you are using logical consequences. Eating in the car is a logical consequence. I have used that with my kids before - you can get dressed and eat at home or you can eat in the car. Dressing at home or in the car is also a logical consequence. You can put your shoes on here or in the car. I usually haven't had to test this too much. When they saw me putting their clothes in bags to take along they knew I was serious.
Can you prompt her for solutions to the morning madness later in the day when she is in a good mood?
Are there things that she likes to do that you can engage her in to make the morning more pleasant? My husband plays with the kids for 5 minutes in the morning. They know they need to get ready before they can play. It take time but it is a way for him to connect with the kids and make it more fun for them.
Good luck
K.,
I feel your pain! My youngest is now 9, but has always been difficult to say the least, but only in the morning. Otherwise, she is a sweet, loving little girl, a delight to be around.
I have her get as much ready as possible the night before, such as picking out her clothes and putting them on her dresser (everything including her shoes and jacket), getting her bookbag packed and by the front door, telling me what she would like for breakfast, etc.
We have found that taking a shower in the morning makes a huge difference. She hates light in the morning, so I gently help her out of bed and to the bathroom. We leave the light off in her bedroom, the hall and the bathroom. I have her go to the bathroom while I turn on the shower, then help her in. In just a few minutes she is singing and awake. While she is in the shower, I fix her breakfast and have it on the table when she gets out. She puts her clothes on then eats, then brusher her hair, teeth, etc and is usually ready on time.
The shower has been a huge help for us. Hope this helps you, too!
what I did for my daughter is to make her go to bed 1/2 hour earlier until we found a time that worked for her to wake up to her alarm. That being said does your daughter wake up on the weekends better when she can sleep in until she wants? If not this may not work for you. My daughter was always great on the weekends so I knew that it was a matter of not getting enough sleep during the week. Good Luck
J.
I know you have received lots of advice, but I wanted to throw my own thoughts out there b/c my daughter is quite cranky too in the morning's and it sets a bad tone for the house, which is such a bummer - : (
I know that I like to have my own time in the morning, not a lot of talk and just to "wake up"....maybe she is like that. I liked the advice of 'no talking' and just letting her wake herself up w/ her own time. This being said, I mean giving her, her own time in the morning w/out a lot of noise, chaos, etc...which may be hard w/ a full house, but try it.
I also think maybe she needs more sleep. I know that is true of my little one.
Have you thought about calling your ped? Maybe she has a vitamin deficiency or needs natural sunlight in the morning. They have alarm clocks out there that wake you up to light, may work for her.
Do you have a cd/ipod/radio in her room w/ light, lullaby music, that may work as well.
A hot breakfast is always good - : )
Good Luck,
D. S.
p.s. keep us posted, i like this request!!
She might be having trouble adjusting to school. The first year can be kind of scary, maybe she is cranky because she knows she has to go to school. Is she the same on the weekends? Make sure you are sticking to the bedtime routine even on the weekends and wake her up at the same time too. You could try getting her up earlier and letting her play or watch cartoons for a while before she has to rush around getting ready. She might associate getting up with something fun and be less cranky. You could also take her to the store with you and let her pick out her own breakfast so she has this to look forward to in the morning also. Picking out clothes the night before helps my son in the morning so he isn't rushed to find something to wear. Does she have a favorite song? Maybe you could walk into her room and just turn the song on and let her wake up on her own.
K., I can relate because I was/ still am not a morning person. I know I was cranky and hateful when my mom woke me up and it was not acceptable, basically I was given two warnings, and if I got 3 warnings it meant I had to go to bed a half an hour earlier. My advice is give her time to wake up, but please don't with hold her breakfast...everything you read says breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Maybe give her a sticker chart and on good mornings she gets a sticker and set a few goals? I hope you find something that works.
B.
