Need Ideas - Port Orchard, WA

throwing the tantrums infornt of her is really good it usually works with mine pretty well. On top of that sitting on a chair in the corner with only a mirror to look at has helped as well. I tell my children this is what you like like rigt now. When they are happy i show them the mirror and say look, what a beautiful happy child, they soon learn the difference and like the smiling a whole lot more

Here is an idea you might want to try if you think it will work. She seems to be one of those strong-willed children, I have one too. He has grown out of his fits now though, thank God. Since girls are usually emotionally more mature than boys, she has to know that what she is doing is wrong. She is in total defiance towards you. When she does have a screaming tantrum, put her in her room all alone and close the door. Tell her she has 5 minutes she is allowed to scream, and after that five minutes is over, she will be punished for every minute after. Like, she could go to bed early one minute for every minute over five minutes she is allowed to scream. After her screaming fit, let her know that it is okay to get angry and it is okay to get frustrated, but that screaming is not acceptable behavior of a "big girl". Find other ways to let her vent which is less disruptive. Teach her breathing techniques, or even a song to sing when she gets angry. As she starts to understand that you are totally not going to give up and she starts to conform to the five minute rule, gradually reduce the time. For everyday that she has no fit, reward her with a book before bedtime, or some extra play time before bed. Let her know that you are proud of her for being a big girl. When she does have fits, at the end of the day at bedtime, let her know that tomorrow is another day, and that you know that she can do it. She is smart and beautiful, and you love her. Even explain to her that you get angry and frustrated, and sometimes feel like screaming (don't we all!), but as ladies, we just can't do that. I hope that you can use this advise. I hate that you are dealing with this type of behavior. Good luck.

When my niece was little, she did the same thing. One day, after my mother had tried everyhthing we could think of, turned around and did exactly what my niece was doing. The sight of her 60 year old grandmother standing there screaming and stomping her feet made her stop long enough for my mother to say, "You look pretty silly doing it too, but if you want to act like that I can do it, too. Why don't we try singing another song, I'm kind of tired of that one." Then, she changed the subject. It worked for us. Maybe it could work for you, too. Good luck.

S., sometimes if you just put them in a room by themself or you leave the room they are in, and just ignore them the tantrums stop. My daughter who is 4 does that sometimes and she does it to get a rise out of me. I have started ignoring her and she doesn't do it so much. Good luck, A.

Try using the phrase, "Use your words. I don't understand screaming." If she continues to scream, walk away.
If her screaming isn't hurting anyone, let her.
However, she's already discovered that it bothers you, and is using that to her advantage. Try to note what happens immediately before her tantrums. Find out WHAT is setting her off. A tantrum is mis-directed anger or frustration.
Did you move recently? I know the Navy does that a lot. Has she just started this? How long has it been going on? When did it start?
Whatever you choose to do, stick with it. Consistency is important. Kids need to know their limits and yours. Don't bribe her. That's just asking for MORE trouble when you run out of bribes, and encourages a sense of manipulation.

Hugs

I had a very similar problem when my now 12 year old son was about 3. After almost a week of his screaming tantrums, I decided to join him. When he started screaming, I screamed too...only louder. It shocked him so much he stopped in mid-scream and give me this look like "OH MY GOD, SHE'S GONE CRAZY!" Before he could start screaming again, I told him "Kiddo, I was the Queen of Temper Tantrums years before you came along and nothing you can do will impress me! So go ahead and scream, it doesn't bother me". I then got up and walked away...he never tried that one again!

I have got a solution that you will probably think is kinda funny but it is worth a try. When she decides to throw a temper tantrum no matter where it is. You throw one with here that way she can see just how silly she looks doing it. My mom did this with my niece in the middle of a clothing store, she laid on the floor kicking and screamimg and so did my mom. People will look at you strange but it may help. let me know how it goes.

Which ever method you choose, be consistent.

My niece has the same issue.. All day long and the one thing that got my sister in law to work was to tell her that its ok to scream but she is only allowed to scream im one part of the house.. My sister in law chose the bathroom.. she told her to close the door and scream all she wanted and if she didnt do so there was no playing or tv at all for the whole day..it took about 2 weeks of doing so but it worked. she no longer gives tantrums at all..

You could try just flat out ignoring her. She might be doing it just to get attention. You could also try taking away a favorite toy, movie or priviledge for a day and see if that has any affect on her. Have you asked her doctor for possible suggestions? If she is in school you should ask the teacher's if she does this at school. Ask what they do to deal with it and try that method at home. Hope this helps and good luck.