Need Help with Weaning 12 Month Old at Night

It sounds to me that you are on the right track. I was going to throw out the idea of a stuffed animal or "lovey" in her crib. My daughter has a stuffed bunny and she sucks on the bunny's ears and tail to fall asleep.
It may be worth a try!

I went through this with my daughter a couple of months ago. She had a very set schedule so I picked one of her night time feedings (I started with the 1 am since that one was the hardest on me) and I just stopped.
I would check on her, tell her I loved her and that she needed to go back to sleep. We use a pacifier at night so I would give her that and her lovey. This pissed her off to no end and seemed to make it worse. As soon as she knew I was up and not giving her the breast she would fly off the handle crying for nearly an hour. I thought I was going to loose my mind
So the next night I turned down the baby monitor just enough so that I could hear her but with out amplifying it. When she started to cry I would check the clock and give her 15 min. to see if her cry changed and it did. It went from “oh milk maid, bring me my booby” to “fine I’ll fall back to sleep but I’m not happy about it”. A few minutes later she was asleep and so was I.
After a few days the 1 am wake up was completely gone. Then we got rid of the 4 am. She does still occasionally wake b/c of her teeth. That cry is completely different from the hungry or fussy cry so I always go to her for those and give her one of her “chew toys”, but for the most part she sleeps 10 hours straight every night. Now if I could just get the new kitten to do the same ;-)

Good luck

we weaned my 10 month old at night last month and it was difficult for a few nights but he now sleeps from 8:30 - 5:30, then I bring him to bed and nurse back to sleep until 7 or 8:30 You will have to get your husband involved and be one of the comforters at night- what you did by holding her and rocking her back to sleep with out breast milk is the way you do it- you may have to lay her down and have her cry it out for a little bit. by the third night, my son cried out for 1 minute and put himself back to sleep. the first night we went to him and comforted him each time he cried, at 4 am I knew he was so tired and so was I and I let him cry for 10 minutes and he went to sleep, the 2nd night my husband and I waited 3 minutes before we went to comfort him, and only once he cried more than 3 minutes, the third night we decided to wait 10 minutes before comforting him and he only cried once for 1 minute- so try it at least for 3 nights although it may take a week, start the process on the weekend so you and your husband can nap during the day. you can do it and your daughter will be fine and will sleep better
good luck

I just sleep trained my son, six months, using methods in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. He was getting up every hour to nurse, but he wasn't really hungry. I was exhausted and someone loaned me the book. It was such a help. It explains the sleep needs of all ages of children and helped me understand why I need to sleep train my son and how. He still wakes up once or twice a night, but he is only six months and it is okay at his age. One of the most helpful parts of the book was that it has different advice for each age group. Hope I don't sound like a infomercial.

I really like the idea of your partner getting involved, but just incase that isn't an option or maybe, more of a last resort. The Baby Wisperer book suggested to set an alarm about an hour before they usually wake up; then disrupt her sleeping pattern by ever so gently and only partially waking her. Just enough to make her stir. After doing a modified version of this durring nap time, my DD sleeps longer and better durring the day. This too, takes a few days.
Good luck - Hang in there!

Can her father get up with her? Then the opportunity to nurse won't be there.

Hi M.,
It is not "your fault" that she uses nursing as a comfort. That is part of the role of nursing for a baby, and you are just being a good mom! It is also good that you are taking care of yourself by working towards getting more sleep if that is what you need. it sounds to me like you are doing exactly the right thing by rocking her back to sleep. She still gets the comfort that she needs to get through the transition while still holding your limit of not nursing. She doesn't need the milk all night anymore, but she needs to know that you are there for her, and that is what she is learning. Good for you.

Best,
E.

Tell her your boobs need a rest. Have your hubby give her milk instead (in a cup, not a bottle). Have him comfort her at night (even if he does have to get up for work in the morning - it's a small sacrifice for a short time). You'll be fine. It's a hard time, but they get it and will adjust.

Mom of 4: girl (weaned at 1), boy (weaned at 2), boy (weaned at 2), baby due 10/1.

M.,
Try having your husband go in to comfort her instead of you. It may be too much of a 'tease' when she knows she is used to nursing with you. Try dropping one feed at a time by sending your husband in at that time. Also, try getting her a little blankie or safe stuffed animal that she can attach to. My baby is 1 and he has been a terrible sleeper - waking constantly to nurse back to sleep. We just tried some sleep training and he has an attachment object (monkey blankie by Angel Dear) and now he sleeps from 7 or 8 until 4 or 5 am. I get him and nurse him and bring him to bed at that time. Once his tooth cuts (soon) we will work on keeping him in his crib until morning. Hope this helps.
D.

You have a lot of good ideas... another to keep as an idea... offer a sippy cup of water instead of the breast. That also gives the idea that the breasts are closed for the night and will help break the association... but remember, you'll have to break that for potty training in the future!

I know everyone is going to tell you to read something and every child is different but you have to read SleepEasy Solution by www.sleepyplanet.com. I bought the book and DVD. You’ll be amazed if you stick with it. Babies should sleep thru the night around 4 months and around 6 – 12 months should sleep at least 14 hrs in 24 hr period (11 hrs straight at night and about 3 hrs total napping). They are sleep deprived otherwise and actually if they have too little sleep or go to bed too late then they actually wake up too early as opposed to sleeping longer like you’d think. I didn't know this and at 6-7 months my son was still waking a few times a night and I thought I had to feed him. Another problem was getting him to sleep on his own. He had to fall asleep on the tah and as soon as I'd lay him down in his crib he would wake and cry cry cry. I was getting frustrated b/c I was so tired. I came across this book and within a WEEK he was soothing himself to sleep and weaned from night feedings. That week was rough but once you get thru it you'll want to celebrate. It’s similar to the cry-it-out method but instead you check on him every 5 min, then 10, and then 15. You MUST be consistent or the whole process will fail and you’ll be more frustrated. Before you start the process you need to know when she wakes and for how long she nurses. Weaning the night feedings is done gradually over a few nights instead of abrupt. For example, your child wakes to feed for 10 min at 11pm, for 2 min at 2am, and for 10 min at 4am. The first night you’ll wake him at 10pm (an hour b/f he wakes himself) to nurse for 8 min (slightly less then he usually does), don’t wake and he probably won’t wake at 2am b/c this is just habit and we’ve already jumped the gun to feed him at the previous feeding, and wake again at 3am (again an hour b/c he usually wakes himself) to nurse for 8 min (again slightly less then he usually does). Hope that makes sense and hope it helps. Good luck and get some sleep.

There are a few different things you could do. You could try giving her a bottle of milk at night instead, then switch to water, then no bottle. Or you could just have your husband take care of those night wakings---I think babies know that dads can't nurse them--until you can train her to sleep through the night. Or, if she's going to cry anyway, she might as well cry in her crib and learn to get herself back to sleep. Good luck! I know how tough it is.

M.,

I nursed my daughter for the first year of life. At 11 months I introduced her to whole milk and only nursed at night. This began the weaning process. On the night I decided to stop breast feeding, I told my daughter that mommy will no longer be breast feeding her. She was reluctant and tried to breast feed. This took about three days for her to adjust to the change, but after being told that mommy would no longer be breast feeding her,she got the message. It was difficult, especially in that she cried, but after being comforted by me, she was okay.
I gave my daughter a whole milk bottle at night and it helped make this process a much easier transition.

I hope you don't give up nursing alltogether as there are still benefits to you & baby afte 12 mts. But to wean her from waking after her bedtime feeding, I can tell you what worked for me. I offered water. At first, she will balk & possibly throw the bottle/sippy back, but keep offering it (even after she refuses. She will begin to drink some water when offered. Soon you will find she sleeps without waking or less wakings. She may cry some, but comfort her or have day help comfort her.

Maybe your spouse could help with the middle of the night events, at least over a long weekend. She associates you with nursing. If your spouse gets up and comforts her, maybe the comfort time will reduce and she'll be able to soothe herself.

Be strong!
S

I night weaned our son at 13 months by sleeping in the other room (we co-slept), and my husband stayed in the room with him and comforted him when he woke at night. Our thought was that if he didn't get nursing he wouldn't think it was worth it to wake up, and that's what happened! It worked beautifully! It took maybe a week, maybe less, and he sleeps 10-11 hours straight. Good luck!

Check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr Marc Weissbluth. He has some helpful info to share on sleep strategies.

M.,
Have you thought that maybe she wakes up thirsty, not hungry, during the night? I know I do, my husband, too. And that's what I began to suspect with my son when was around 11-12 months (he's 13 yo now --and he still wakes up once during the night to get little drink of water). I started offering thinned out pre-pumped breastmilk (nonfat cow's milk would work b/c it's watery, too), holding my son close as if we were nursing and slowly thinned it further until he had a bit of water (you could do the same thinning the NF milk to water, too). If your daughter really is thirsty, this should work. If she's not, well then it won't. I remember that it took a few weeks with my son. When he was a toddler up 'til younger elementary, I'd leave a sippy cup (or water bottle, as he got older) with some water in it at his bedside for late night sips. Eventually, when he was older, he just trekked to the kitchen during the night or still use a water bottle at his bedside, whatever mood he was in. My husband and I both wake up to get a drink of water during the night, too. Anyway, it's a thought.
Good luck!
M.

Dear M.,
When my son was 15 months old, I had to have an operation and had no choice but to stop nursing. After receiving shots to prepare for the procedure, my milk was completely off limits. We had already let him have formula and cow's milk and liked both, so that wasn't the problem. But he wanted the boob. That part was difficult, but we all survived. I was in the hospital for 5 days and my husband was on his own.
He was so worried that the milk or formula would spoil, that he put ice cubes in the bottle that he gave the baby every night and had another one on hand just in case.
If my son woke up in the night, my husband would rattle the bottle to make sure there was still ice and give it to him. Before long, my son would root around and find the bottle himself and shake it, then drink and go back to sleep. My son had to have his ice ba-ba. If it didn't rattle, he thought it was broken or something. It was the funniest thing. We could hear him wake up or be moving around in the crib, then we'd hear him rattling his ice ba-ba and all was quiet for the rest of the night. He had to have ice in his bottle during the day, too! Sometimes he didn't even want a drink....he just wanted to hold it and shake it. 2 in 1.....a bottle AND a rattle.
I don't know if your daughter has a bottle or a sippy...and she may not like cold milk, but you can always try the ice ba-ba technique. I never would have thought of doing it, but it worked for my son.
It's worth a try.
Your daughter may be happy with having a bottle of water at night.
I always brushed my son's teeth and gums first thing in the morning if he had milk at night. Never, ever, let your baby go to bed with a bottle of juice, especially apple. It is worse for their teeth than letting them eat 5 pounds of candy. I'm serious. If you let a kid eat raisins because you think they are healthy, be prepared to brush their teeth afterwards. They are TERRIBLE for kid's teeth.

Best of luck to you. Your daughter will be just fine. I promise.

You are a great mom and just remember that keep doing what you are doing and your daughter will get used to it. Just think, she nursed for a year and it provided nutrition and comfort for her....it will take some time to wean her at night. You are on the right track! Keep it up! I have heard that some people use a crib mobile with music. My kids are 9 and 4 so I can't really remember :-) I guess I wll remember when I go to wean my 3 month old! Good luck and your daughter is lucky to have such a caring mom! S.

It's not your FAULT, you've done nothing wrong. You've instinctively done what your child needed. You just feel that it's time for a change, and it sounds like your current instincts are correct as well.

Cold turkey worked for me, it took no more than 3 nights and all three of my kids went from waking up 3 times a night to sleeping through the night. If rocking her and she goes back to sleep works, then do that.

With both my kids, when it came time to wean at night I enlisted the help of my husband. If I got up with them at night, they screamed until I fed them, whether they needed it or not. But if my husband got up with them, they cried for a few minutes and then settled right back down. It only took a few nights for them to get out of the habit of waking (since it wasn't worth it if they didn't get to nurse). Once they stopped waking at night we tackled the falling asleep on their own thing at bedtime and they have been sleeping pretty well ever since. We still have occasional night wakings with my 2 year old (molars, sickness etc), but that is the exception, not the norm. Also, you will find once you elminate the night wakings, if they get sick or have a bad night, they may start up again, and you may have to let them cry it out a couple of nights to resume your normal schedule. Good luck. I hated the sound of my kids crying, in fact, when we weaned my son it was so hard on me I had to go outside so I couldn't hear him crying because I wanted to "rescue" him which would have totally defeated the purpose. It was much easier with my daughter. She was younger, so she didn't really protest at all, in fact, she pretty much weaned herself for most of the nighttime feedings which was great.

Let me just say that you should NOT feel at all guilty about your child being comforted by nursing! Having a 1 year old who feels safe and secure falling asleep snuggled with her mom, although inconvenient for mom at midnight, is really a wonderful thing. That being said, I went through this with my son, although he was a couple of months older at the time. What ended up working was this:

When he woke up to nurse in the night, I would give him a cup of warm cows milk (I don't know if you do milk in a bottle... we didn't that way we didn't have to wean off of the bottle later but you could do the same with a bottle). After a week or so of that he decided it just wasn't worth it to get up for a cup!

Give it a try, hope it works.

T.