Need Help with Potty Training - Decatur,GA

There is great info about potty training on www.askdrsears.com. Dr. William Sears is America's pediatrician. Go to the website, click on A-Z Index, then "T", then chose toilet training.

I am now training my 2 1/2 year old son as well. So far what has worked was taking away the pull ups and putting on training pants (sold at walmart. We also set a timer for every 30-40 minutes. We take him first thing in the morning and then everytime the timer goes off we make him go. Sometimes he will go a little and sometimes he will go a good bit. We have now done this for a week. He is now getting to where he will hold it longer and is starting to be able to tell when he needs to go and is telling us. He will not however stink on the potty. He will tell me and I have to let him put on a pull up for that. But one thing at a time I guess. Hope this helps.

First, you have to learn his potty rhythm. Observe him throughout the day and keep a log of when he goes potty in the diaper. Find the pattern, and go from there.

this is what worked for me..
see, i was due to give birth in 2 weeks and i did NOT want two children in diapers at the same time (my oldest was about.. 23 months at the time)
so i began letting my child run around without a diaper on. yes, it did create some clean up (but i got her potty trained before my baby was born) and another thing i did was buy one of those child potty's and placed it in the living room (where we spent most of our time) for quick access.
the way i saw it is that she would notice herself peeing when she didn't have a diaper on and the warm pee ran down her legs. it did get her to STOP and look down as she peed on herself. i would calmly talk to her and tell her to sit down and pee. sometimes i would catch her mid-pee and place her on her potty to finish. eventually she caught on all together and started peeing on the potty when she had to go. after she was use to it and always going on her potty i placed the potty in the bathroom. when she knew then to run to the bathroom i began putting her on the big toilet. since she's had constipation problems i still had to diaper her when she pooped, but thankfully a year later she's over her constipation problems enough to go on the potty. if your child poops regularly then he should do fine pooping on the toilet as well (i think).
as i said, this worked for me and may not be the solution for everyone. but if your looking for other ways to go about it i say give it a shot. and don't worry yourself about disinfecting the pee on the floor, soap and water is fine because believe it or not pee is very clean (no germs or anything like that). but of course poop is different..
good luck

I had read some Dr. who writes a column in the Sunday paper - he wrote that the body is not physically capable of being potty trained until after 18 months but that it was also very important that potty training take place before 3 years. Any time after 18 months you should start watching for signs of readiness or periodically trying. My first son was 20 months when he first showed an interest. We read him a book about going potty and would let him watch when we went. I didn't try then because I was about to give birth and had heard they would regress and I didn't want to have to do it twice. The adjustment to 2 sons went well so at 21 months we tried and after a week he was rarely having accidents.

With my second son, he was 21 months and NOT showing any signs. He went through a brief period where he would grab his diaper and say pee-pee when he went but then was running away denying he had gone a vast majority of the time. My older son was going to camp from 9-1 for a week so I decided to give it a try anyway and 3 days in, my younger son had it - much to my shock. I REALLY did not think he was ready but he did it at 22 months and is now 27 months and has had no problems.

All I have done both times was have them walk around naked from the waist down. Give them plenty of juice that day so they will need to go pee pee a lot and have that many more chances of making the correlation and figuring it out. I would just say "uh oh! Pee pee on your legs. Oh, I know that doesn't feel good. Let's get you cleaned up. Next time you feel like you need to go, let's try to go on the potty and you'll get a nummy (candy - seems to be the best motivator for my kids)". I would throw a big fit when they did go in the potty - high fives, call daddy and grandparents to tell them the amazing thing he just did, etc.

That initial week I really hating putting him in the car without a diaper for the 30 minutes it took to pick up my 1st and get back. The car seats are such a nightmare to clean! But, when I decided to try - in my mind it was a commitment to no diapers for at least a vast majority of the waking part of the day for a week. Messy, but it worked... twice. I have a 12 month old daughter so we'll see how it goes with a girl. She is very strong willed so who knows. Oh... and I wean off the candy. After a week or so, he would say pee-pee in the potty - Nummy now! and would dance around and I would congratulate him and then just distract him and most of the time he'd forget all about the nummy. Now he will go to the potty "All myself" I will occasionally find poopoo/peepee in the potty and have had no idea he went.

Now if you learn any tricks for getting them to wake themselves up to go please let me know! My 4 year old will pee through his diaper and even being all wet doesn't wake him up. He wakes up at his normal time in the morning and tells me "I'm soakin' wet!" and his PJs and bed are all soaked in cold urine. The kid can sleep through anything! He sleepwalks occasionally too.

Anyhow. One big thing I have learned - all kids are different and NO ONE knows them like you do. Try some of the various suggestions and then watch your child and trust your gut. Make it fun. If they feel stressed/anxious it will never happen.

Good luck.
K.

I have 3 boys my youngest was easiest he was about 3 yrs old. My middle child he was about a few months before 4 yrs old. The oldest had developmental delay he was just over 4 yrs old but mentally he was about 3 1/2 yrs old.

Expect accidents, don't punish...remember your bladder has had yrs of holding they are learning. Sometimes kids get potty trained and they for a few months have lots of accidents.

was a prek teacher it happens no big deal. There's many books out there but if you are going through the motions and not having success it might be because he isn't ready. Has he shown signs? trying to use the potty wanting to?
most kids don't have to go until 20-30 mins after a meal.

Each child is different and they all have something different that motivates them. Ask yourself if he's really ready and what motivates him/candy/toys...personally I just read books it gave a child one on one with me, or we'd blow bubbles, listen to a radio, put stickers in a sticker book.

Sitting down is easier less problems when it comes to poop in the potty...trust me. Don't start standing they can stand later sitting is the best route to go or else poop on the potty can become difficult for some boys.

Keisha,
I had a bit of trouble training my son, but I did get it done. He wanted to go pee pee outside on a bush and out of despiration, because we lived in the country; I decided to let him. That opened up the problem of getting him to go in the house. We cut out pieces of tissue in different shapes and had him sink them. That worked for a while, but then came the hard part. Getting him to go on the potty when it was a bowel movement, proved to be my big test. Out of desperation, I let him color on the underside of the toilet lid. I knew that he went each morning so it was our morning game. It wasn't a instant success, but it did finally work. Most toilet seat lids are made of something that works almost as good as a dry erase board. We did use crayons and I used lysol to clean the drawings when he was done. Once he began to use the toilet for more than an art table, we had to leave some of the drawings until a relative or friend came by to show off his art work. I was such a small price to pay, and my son is from a previous marriage so there was not a man in our lives at the time to show him how big boys do it; so I felt I'd really accomplished something! My older sister even tried it with her son, and he had a dad there to show him. Even if you have to take off the real nice toilet seat while he is training, and replace it with an inexpensive one; it will be well worth it when he gets it. I wish you the best! I do wish I'd had digital photography so I had a copy of all his potty art, but hind sight is twenty-twenty.
R.

Most boys aren't ready to be potty trained until around 3 years old. Yes, just put him on the potty once an hour and he will eventually get the idea. This is also a good time to sit with him and read him a special book reserved only for potty time.

Of course give special rewards when he does potty and lots of praise!! He'll get there in time.

Most boys potty train between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old. Certianly your son is on the low end of that and may not be at all ready. I have had one that did it at 3 1/2 and one at 2 1/2, and a girl that was close to three. With all of them when they were ready it was a simple process that took only a few days.

To see if they were ready I look for these things. 1. Do they know when they are wet/dirty and want to be changed? 2. can they hold it for at least half an hour? (I would put them in thick underwear for a couple hours and see how often they were wetting) 3. do they care if they have an accident? 4. Are they wiolling to sit on the potty? If he can do all those things then it should be just a matter of when he does go on the potty making a HUGE deal out of it. I put mine in training underwear, not pull up s or diapers because then they feel the wet better, but it is less clean up than plain underwear or naked.

Oh, and often it takes longer to learn to poo on the potty than to pee. Sometimes a couple months even, so don't be surprised if you are washing dirty underwear. and nighttime can lag by a lot too. My boys were 6 before nights kicked in. My daughter thought trained day and night at the same time, a couple months before her third birthday.

This is something almost every mom stresses about the first time, but you will probably realize, as most of us do, that when they are ready it isn't hard. It's only hard when you try to "make it happen" That's not worth the fight because most of the time it really doesn't work!

Dear K.:

Potty training is very personal and boys train much later than girls. He may not be ready. Most boys are closer to 3 years old before they have any interest. It does not hurt trying at an earlier age but once an hour may be the answer until he can warn you by you teaching to tap on his diaper when ready to go.

S. L.

My son loved peeing on the generic fruit loops. I say the generic bag ones because they floated better. It was like a squirt gun game. Have his father pee on them first couple of times to help show him. Also try jelly beans, my kids will do anything for jelly belly. At first it was 1 jelly bean a try and then 3 if they did "it". It worked with both. But I did it when both were ready to do it and your son doesn't sound interested yet. If your too pushy with it they will rebel so be patient it will come.

Good luck J.

Hey K.:
Every child potty trains at their own rate. It is normal that your son is not yet potty trained. Of course being a parent, we expect them to do it when we want them too, this is not the case. First, I would recommend you getting some DVD's and books about potty training and getting him excited about it. Second, if dad is around, get daddy to take him to the bathroom everytime he goes so that he can understand the concept of going potty. Now you have 2 sources that is reinforcing the potty. Next, about 5-10 minutes after your son eats or drinks sit him on the toilet for about 30 minutes. Have his favorite music playing and you sit in the bathroom with him and read his potty books to him and let him know the importance of pottying in the toilet...example "Big Boys go potty...are you a big boy?" Praise him and reward him when he does go. Never scold him or punish him for not going. Instead say..."Better luck next time, or we will try again later, good job for trying". You must keep a positive reinforcement when it comes to pottying because if they experience any negative reinforcement, they want go out of fear. Also, pullups aren't really good (my opinion) because they get use to pee-pee or poopy in them because they are so similar to diapers. Take him and let him pick out some big boy underwear. Explained to him the purpose of him having them and you buying them "You are becoming a big man so we are going to buy you some big boy underpants". During the day let him wear his underwear, remembering to take him to bathroom 5-10 minutes after he eats or drinks. At night, you can do the pullups because at this stage, he doesn't understand to wake up out of his sleep to go potty. Good luck! I hope the advise helps.

Little boys are especially hard to potty train. I introduced my son slowly to the potty, having him go into the bathroom with my husband and me when we went. It also helped that he has a "girlfriend" around his age who is potty trained, so he would watch her go. We would give him some gummies when he pottied by himself and praise him for doing a good job. My son started showing interest on his own around age 2 1/2 and he's almost completely trained, but I consider myself very lucky for that. Most little boys don't even begin until around 3. My friends son is 3, this month, and still not interested. Little girls on the other hand are much much easier and start around age 2. Another thing we found helpful was letting him pee outside, for some reason lil boys enjoy that. It's not an easy wait, but he will become interested in due time. If you try to "force" him to go or scold him when he doesn't, he will become resistant to going in the potty all together.

Hi Keisha,
He actually sits for 30-35 minutes?!!!! If he is not expressing any understanding that he is going, he is not ready. Let him be naked (too cold outside now, so I guess a porch or a try in the kitchen or something) and when he tee-tee's, it should be interesting or funny to him. Does he have any developmental issues, or just does not care yet?
I think cloth diapers are helpful as well, so they can feel the wet very distinctly.
Guess more questions than answers, but he need to have some awarenes of "I tee-tee!" before he will potty train.
J

Do you have any older male children, husband, or some other male you trust to take him to the bathroom with them each time they go?

My son was in the same boat and I don't know what it was, but either he wasn't connecting for him that this is where he was supposed to go... or he had no incentive to go there. Either way... he was happy with me changing and cleaning him up until he saw "how the big boys do it." Luckily, there were a lot males in my family so they were going pretty frequently... and each time, they would trot Tim in with them.

Once it clicked that he wanted to be a "big boy" he didn't even NEED the potty chair anymore. He still had a few accidents, but the desire was there.

I truly believe that kids don't get potty trained until they WANT to be potty trained. All he needs is some incentive to NOT sit in a soiled diaper or pull up.

(edited to add...)

With my daughter... I used a video tape that I got on free rental from a local video store (all self help were always free for rental). It's called "It's Potty Time."

I've seen reviews saying "It's stupid... don't waste your time..." because the PARENTS didn't get it... but it uses the same catchy songs that other kids shows use to get through to them. How many of your kids, at that young age, can recite any Disney DVD from memory? Same premise.

My daughter was potty trained in a WEEK using the tape. Of course it was a little embarrassing in public when she would sit on the potty singing at the top of her lungs, "I use the potty when I have to PEEEEEEE!" but hey... I wasn't changing diapers! :)

Here's a link... (at least I THINK this is the one)

http://www.itspottytime.com/pottytrainingprogram-1.aspx

You didn't mention a male figure in this child's life. If there is a male figure, daddy, uncle, nephew, who can help you with this. Some children are harder than others to train, however, if he had someone showing him what he needs to do, he may be more willing to "mimic" the process.

Good Luck!

My son is also 2 1/2 + he's my first. One weekend I made time to just stay home all day with him and I refused to let him just go in his pull-up. It took lots of patience, and a consistent effort to ask him if he had to go every 30min, and then I would repeatedly explain to him why he should go (tell him he's a big boy now/big boys go to the potty in their big boy underwear). Make sure you puchase a few starter pairs of underwear of maybe his favorite character to show). Letting him walk around naked worked for me, I discovered with him he had to get the sensation he was not wearing anything which made him feel like going (remember walking naked is just to get him started, soon he will tell you when he has to go) most pull-ups are made to feel dry/comfortable even after they go. Where as feeling wet in cotton underwear is uncomfortable. I would say "tell mommy when you have to go potty or feel wet ok".... Good luck to you

I know it's hard not to, but don't worry. My son was right at 3 when he became potty trained. It happened over a weekend. We had him hang around naked all weekend. If he wanted to pee outside (like he saw our dogs do), then we let him. But, by the end of the weekend, he knew what the "feeling" was that he needed to be aware of. Good luck!

I wouldn't sterotype the kids...I have heard that a lot and it so isn't true, at least not with us! My boys were potty trained within a week wearing underwear day and night at 2 years 6 months exactly! And they told me when they needed to go potty. My 3.5 year old girl still isn't!!!! It's driving me nuts. I now know what others go through. We have been taking her to go potty since she turned 3yo because she wasn't ready at the time her brothers were...still isn't. But we are consistently taking her to go...we are doing all the work.

Now having said that, each child is different. Kids are usually ready to be potty trained from 2 to 4 years old. My girl will be 4yo in Feb...can you imagine what I'm feeling? I just keep saying to myself, "she won't be wearing diapers in college." Say it to yourself. :0)

With my boys, I bought a lot of hot wheel cars. Put them in a bag and each time they went, they got one. Also, I used a timer to have them go. As they got better at controlling it better, I extended the time. My oldest drank a lot and had to go more often than his brother (they are 1 year apart), so we started out with 20 minutes for him....more like an hour for his brother. I had them sit down. No standing up. They are already trying to take in too much info without having to worry about aiming right. And I must say, I've NEVER EVER had a problem with my boys now standing...no messes at all. (They started standing prob around 5 or 6yo.) They finally pooped at the end of the first week AND were telling me when they needed to go.

If your son can hold it longer, make the space longer in between. My girl, we take her every 2 hours and that is perfect for her. She is like one of her brothers and can hold it forever, but then pee a gallon when it's time. lol

With potty training, you don't need to bring any frustration or expectations into it. If there is...I'd lay off a while and then start again in a month or so. Do the toys..it's cheap to buy the hot wheels or do a sticker chart if that is what he likes. Praise for even trying.

My daughter HAS TO HAVE HER PRIVACY. So, we do not stand over her. We take her to the potty, etc., then leave and tell her to call when she is done. When she does, THEN we go back in there. Have you tried to learn something new when someone is standing over you and you know that they are going to get frustrated when you don't do it right? It's hard from then on to do it while they are there, even if they are not frustrated the next time. You remember that. Just a thought.

Yours may not be ready. My sister did not start teaching any of her kids to potty until age 3yo..that was for the boys and the girl.

Good luck!

Mother of 4

I had my husband (who had the right equipment) take my son to the bathroom with him everytime he had to go and show him how Daddy does it. He would then encourage him to go in his little chair which we put on a stool so it would be at the right height. After a few days of this modeling he was done and only had a few accidents if he was too busy playing. I found that asking him if he needed to go every hour, helped him to learn what his body was telling him.
Hope this helps!

Try waiting at least 30 minutes after he drinks a full glass to take him to the potty. If you pay attention, his bowel movements are pretty regular and will occur around the same time every day. Once you know around what time he goes, put him on the potty at that time. First thing in the morning is a good time too. Be consistant. Have dad take him to the potty to see how it is done. Make a big deal out of his success. We used to have a pee dance for my girls. We would clap and sing a song I made up and parade around the potty and thru the house. You'll be surprised at how much fun he'll get out of a parade!!! You can even put a drum next to the potty for him to play while you march thru the house!! Good luck.

Here are some specific things you can do (and I assure you that you don't need a man/male figure to do this. You can and will get your son potty trained just fine!) Talk about using the bathroom, let him see you go in and say "see mommy tinkled, yea!" make going in the potty a huge, exciting event. clap and sing when you do it and he will want to it. it is a good idea to put him opn the potty after he eats and drinks but you just need to figure when he goes each day and get him on the potty at those times too. some kids poop every morning, every night, etc. also sit him on the potty while you run his bath. the consistency of sitting on the potty at the times each day will help. You can also give him a cup when he is sitting on the potty to help him feel the urge to tinkle. I would tell my daughter to push her poopies out and point to where on her belly she should push. I would expect that he will tinkle first and may not go number two for awhile. when you do finally get him to go on the potty sing, dance and clap and reward with one or two m&m's or chocolate chips (or whatever small treat your son likes). Do you have a small potty with a guard so he can sit down? if not you can try the fruit loop thing. I have heard a lot of success with that (or cherrios) boys seem to like the idea of aiming for something! you can also tell him to make bubbles if he is standing. that may motivate him. I say go ahead and move forward with big boy underwear. if you have a few days when you are going to be home and you can try these techniques plus underwear he may get it quickly. also peer pressure helps a ton so if he goes to school tell the teachers you are working on potty training and ask them to help. Seeing his "friends" use the potty make also help motivate him. hope that some of this will help and good luck!

I didn't get my first potty trained until he was 3. He had absolutely no interest in going on the potty. Check out 3 day potty training online. I was unable to follow the method exactly because I have a younger child and a husband who is a big child, so it took about a week and a half. He didn't "get it" that potty training was a must until I threw away all his diapers in front of him and no longer gave him the option of using the pull-ups. It will be messy, it will try your patients, but I don't think PJ would have done it otherwise. Good Luck!