I need advice on how to keep my 21 month old sons hands out of his diaper! He reminds me of Al Bundy! He walks around with his hand in his diaper all day, he sleeps with his hand in his diaper as well or during a diaper change plays with himself. I know its natural to a degree but this is beyond a natural fascination.
I understand this is "normal" behavior and I in no way wanted to stifle his self curiosity but was at my wits end on to how to let him know it was ok to do it in private but not in public. When it was 24/7 it felt a little much! LOL! BUT! thanks to you all I have done quite a few things, we have several one piece outfits, we always have a toy in our hand now for diaper changes, and if he does manage to have his hands in his pants we sing either "If You Are Happy" so the clapping distracts him or we go over body parts and he points to them! At bath time he can run a muck without Mommy distracting him because that is HIS time. In just a few short days it has become manageable and I thank you all for your wonderful suggestions!
Sorry, I'm afraid he'll never outgrow this fascination, he'll just gain some manners as he gets older and maybe be a little more discret (not always!!). He's just a little man!!!!
All mothers of boys have gone through this. We all laugh at younger mothers who, like you, are a little freaked out about it because we were too at first.
Don't worry one bit. One day you'll wake up and he will have forgotten all about it and moved on to the next item of fascination.
(I think ALL boys do this when babies or toddlers)
M
That is NOT beyond natural and it doesn't go away for quite a while (actually never goes away - ask any adult male LOL) but what needs to be done is teaching him when it isn't appropriate to do things like that... that it is only ok to touch (and learn) about that body area in private. This can be a good time to start preparing yourself for teaching him about not letting others touch that area except for diaper change/bath/doctor too. It takes patience and continuous reminders but it sinks in eventually.
Well, it really is natural, in that if it feels good, he'll do it. It's only society that tells us to feel weird about it.
Gently teach him that it's a private thing that he doesn't do in front of others, and when you see his hands going for his diaper, have a great toy or fantastic, fun activity (preferably one that involves his hands) to distract him with.
Be gentle and loving. Don't act disgusted, no matter what! Affirm that it's good to love our bodies, to take care of them and treat them well, so he grows up with a healthy sexuality. Boys who grow up thinking that enjoying sexual feelings is bad but who naturally have urges to experience them will go about it in underhanded, manipulative ways with partners, and feel unable to talk to safe people (like their parents) about what is right, safe, healthy and appropriate.
Most of all, don't worry about it.
L.
Hehe. Yes, that's a boy for you. I would suggest giving a simple command used only for when he does that, such as "Hands Up!" This way you will be redirecting the hands by telling him what you want rather than what you do not want. Toddler's don't really process "don't" very well. It's an abstract idea. For example, what does "not touching something" look like? vs. What does "Hands up!" look like. One idea is something he can actually picture in his mind. So when you catch him, redirect those hands. Put something in his hands. "Hold this for, Mommy." Have those hands do something else. Sing a clapping song. Anything to get those hands busy elsewhere. I hope this works for you. Good luck.
P.S. If he's still doing this when he's older and able to understand, then set boundaries for the behavior. "You can only touch this when you're alone and in the bathroom." Hopefully he will glean "using the bathroom" from that without being made to feel that his self exploration is a bad thing and if he doesn't limit himself to "using the bathroom" then at least he's alone and in a more appropriate place for self exploration. Good luck!
It is a stage that he will grow out of. He just discovered those things were down there, so now he is exploring and figuring them out. If you are potty training, that could be part of the fascination, because he has figured out those things actually have a function...lol
Well I hate to tell you but this is one of those things that he is just going to have to grow out of. I have a four year old that did the same thing. I tried to get him to stop by asking, yelling and talking to him about it til I was blue in the face. Then I just finally decided to ignore it. He has not completely stopped but he does not do it as often. I also think this is just a "boy" thing and really, in my opinion, there is not much you can do. Hope this helps. Good luck!
My son is the same way (20 mon old). We keep him in onesies during the day. That solves the issue. At night we tell him, hands out of the diaper. We've also started telling him he can touch down there when bathing or at night alone in his room. Our ped said not to tell him he can't do it or it might create issues later.
Welcome to having boys! I have 4 boys and 2 girls, and I am amazed how fast they find that part, and their eyes light up when they find it. Crazy! Its even more awkward when they have siblings or go to daycare.
Without making him think its nasty he needs to learn that that is his, and only he can touch it, and he shouldn't touch it all the time. Just when he is by himself. LOL I have 2 very private boys, and 2 that aren't. My 13 and 3 yr olds are private, and my 9 and 17 month olds are very proud and like to show off.
He is all boy. They play with it in the womb, and they rediscover it at this age, girls do the same thing at this age as well.
However; boys never outgrow there fascination with that thing. I catch my 6 year old playing with his in the bathroom every now and then.
It's a boy thing! I had a preschool class with children who were developmentally delayed and visually impaired due to prematurity. One of the mom's arrived at naptime and saw that both the boys, her son and a classmate) went to sleep face down with their hands in their pants and she exclaimed, "He does that, too!" She thought her son was the only one. She had written a note to me saying it was a propblem at home and although he was non-verbal, he understood her anger and would laugh when he was out of arms reach. She was becomimg embarrased with him doing it in front of company. I told her about redirection and that her getting upset and making a big deal was giving him some control over her. The only time his hands were in his pants at school was a naptime--which my aide humorously began to refer as a sleep aid. I told his mom to be grateful because in this way he was like a "normal" boy. YOu're not going to stop it. You can only redirect him when he's before others and later explain when he can understand that we don't touch ourselves there around people. Once you behave like you're upset, you will cause other problems.
I wouldn't worry UNLESS you feel there has been oportunity for him to hvae been abused. You would probably notice other behaviors changing, too, if this were the case.
Not ever a bad idea to err on the safe side.
But all that said, both my boys are the same way!!
--Hs
My 21 month old boy is exactly the same. I just keep removing his hand anytime I see it down his diaper during the day but give him 'free rain' so to speak, during and right after bath time. For about 10 minutes I let him run around naked and let him discover what he has down there. It has seemed to help, I don't have to move his hand as much.
Good luck!!
hey N., you're a fairly new mom of a boy....there are all kinds of things that boys do that girls don't. this is totally normal. i've raised 2 boys to adulthood and the main thing is that as he gets older you have to teach him that it is inappropriate to do those things when others are around. get ready, as they get older they scratch and rearrange things as well.....it's just a boy thing.....good luck. R.
Dear N.,
My 3 year old was doing that at 2 and I thought it was a little much too. I just prayed that God would take that fascination from him and he did. I started telling him not to touch his privates unless he was itching or it bothered him and everytime I saw him with his hands in his pants I said Get your hands out of your pants unless your itching or it's bothering you and he has not been doing that for awhile now. Hope this helps.
This is a perfectly normal part of development at this age especially if you are potty training. He is too young to understand privacy and punishment should NEVER be considered as it can cause major problems down the road in healthy mental and sexual development.
In our developmental and psychology classes we are taught to tell parents that the best option is to ignore it. That is what I did with my son and he is 4 now and has outgrown it.
Your son will grow out of it, but if you make a big deal about it, it will become a "game" and he will think it is funny to get a reaction from you. If you are in public and don't want to ignore it, give him something else to do with his hands like a new toy or a snack.
I do not have boys, but the funniest -and best- advice I've ever heard about this was what one of my friends husband's told her about their son:
Are you kidding? If it was socially acceptable I'd have my hand in my pants all day too, and so would EVERY man I know.
He sounded jealous! haahaahaa.
When he's old enough to understand, try to teach him about public and private behavior and be sure to emphasize that with this particular behavior, the rest of the family is public too! LOL
Good luck,
~K.
N.: I'm sorry, but your post made me laught this morning! I have a husband, 3 sons and a daughter and I must tell you sweety that this is just the beginning of a long ride when it comes to boys fascination with their "private parts"! I know it's crazy, but all of my boys had that fascination and they still do! LOL...even when they were around 14-15 years of age, I had to ask them to please keep their hands out of their pants while we were all in the living room watching T.V.! I said "go to your room and do that"! LOL...not sure what it is about boys and "their toy"...:) But I even catch my husband (who's 45) doing it! It seems that it becomes a habit with them that stays with them their whole life because, of course, my husband doesn't do it intentionally, it's like it's unciounsly done!
I know it's crazy and it concerned me for a long time too, but I've learned to ignore it and the boys stopped doing it in front of me; how would they react if we (as women or our daughters)walked around with our hands in our pants? LOL...men are just different creatures! Good luck sweety and I hope he grows out of it..as he gets older, I would just explain to him that it is disrespectful to have his hands in his pants around others!
Keep me posted,
S.
welcome to being a mother of a boy all boys do it some more than others but if you bring it up to him he will do it more just don't pay attention to it it should wear off as he gets older good luck
