Need Help with My 6 Year Old

Hi,
I don't know if this will work for you but it worked with my "young lady". Find what she loves or enjoys doing. For my girl its dresses. Give her a warning,if she doesnt stop you take it away. If it still doesnt stop take one more away and keep it up and stay stroung untill she stops. Then she has to earn then back.
Good luck
HLF

LOL...I was reading all of the feedback in hopes of some help myself :)

I have a soon to be 9 yr old who has done the SAME THING since he was about 6 y.o.

Its nervewracking and very tiring, isnt it?
I think it's the age, you arent alone!

Dear C.,

Ah yes, little girls. If I were you, I would change my tone of voice with her, so that she will pay more attention to you. Then, when she talks back, make sure that you quietly sit down with her and talk face to face explaining to her that you are the mommy and you are the one that teaches her how to act toward other people. Explain that she needs to be respectful to older people, (and a lot of people in this world are going to be older than she is for a lonnnnng time).

Explain that this is the way that the world does things, and that if she disagrees with you, then she has to be speak to you in a polite way, and tell you how she feels. You tell her that you will listen and explain to her - if you have time. If you do not have time, then you and she devise a signal so that she knows that you are busy and that you two will talk this over later on - face to face - not tall mother looking down and scowling at little defiant girl child. O.K.?

I have noticed that a lot of younger women nowadays are spoiled grown women. For one thing, they do not know how to be respectful to older women,or to other people, such as husbands, and who seem to feel that the world was made to bow down to them. I told my grandson recently that the next time he chooses to either marry or live with or date a girl that he would please choose one who - is three C's and a K. The three C's stand for - she COOKS - she CLEANS - is CARING, AND IS KIND !! Now, now, that does not mean that she is the only one to cook, clean, be caring or is kind - but that she does participate in these things along with others in her household or family. I hope that you understand that beginning to teach these attributes, when a girl child is 6, is necessary. Little girls are very bossy sometimes. O.K. ?? C. N.

No advice, just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. My son has to backtalk and argue about EVERYTHING. If you get any really good advice, let me know!

Hi C.,

I wonder if it is because she thinks it is cute or mature to talk back. I have an 11 year old that loves to do the same thing, but she is in karate. The discipline of a martial arts is wonderful. Now when she talks back, I ask her if that is showing respect. She usually apologies quickly and the instances are becoming more and more rare.

Take care.

My daughter went through a positively awful phase about that age where I was convinced she had become a teenager overnight. If she's tired or hungry I might let it go. Otherwise I might sternly tell her that her behavior was not acceptable. This was a time when it was really easy to become so frustrated with her bahavior. I tried to remember that she was still my little girl and not be fooled by the way she was acting - as if she was independent. It felt as if she was pushing me away and maybe that's what it was - they're in school and trying to be more independent and it seems to involve pushing mom away. Give her some space but remember that she's your baby and doesn't really want that much space. Good-luck!
I forgot to add that this behavior went away as quickly as it began. Suddenly I realized that my sweet daughter was herself again. It truly seemed like a phase.

OMG I went through this with my 5 yr old... and it took bout a yr before I got her to stop.. Theres still times where I have to remind her how old she is.. For some reason she forgets.. LOL.. I get a real stern voice and I have a look going.. and I tell her how very disappointed i am in her for her attitude... There is times where that wont work so i go to my next thing.. She loves playin on my comp.. so theres some of her games on here.. When she doesnt listen and continue with the attitude I do remove her games from the computer.. My very last resort is tappin her mouth.. but i keep reminding her that having a baby sister she needs to learn to set an example for her baby sister.. and show Shailyn how to act as she gets older.. But my 5 yr old is getting better and when she does good I praise her for it.. I tell her im very very proud of her for how well she behaved.. and I do explain to her that yes shes allowed to misbehave sometimes but not major.. cuz I know kids arent perfect.

I have a 4 year old but I work with children ages 3-8 and have for several years.
My 4 year old (4 going on 16) has had that problem in the past. After much talking (and prying. haha),I tracked it back to his step brother (who is 8). This kind of talk is allowed in their house. It could be that she is picking it up from another child at school without even realizing it.

Solution: I guess it depends on the child but here is what worked for us and what I have seen work many times. Children, no matter what the age, want your approval and your attention. When my son would talk back to me I would explain that first, you never speak to your mother in such a disrespectful way. (I am big on respect) Second, that I am disappointed that he would choose to argue with me (CHOOSE being the big word here. The sooner they realize that what they say is their choice, the better. It teaches them that they are responsible for their attitude and mood and not to blame it on others "well, you made me mad") Third, I tell him that I expect an apology. FOURTH, drop it! The biggest mistake that I see parents make is that when the child apologizes, they don't accept it or they respond as "yea, you better be sorry" and proceed with a lecture. This is a negative response that will DISCOURAGE your child from apologizing again. FIFTH: Another big step that parents miss is positively reinforce your child's positive behavior. If you tell her "No" and she doesn't talk back, take a quick second to say "I am really proud of you for not talking back". It sounds too simple to work but I promise, if you will say 5 positive things to your child for every one negative comment, you will see a big difference in their attitude, desire to please you and their behavior.
Reinforcing the positive behavior had worked for us for temper tantrums, back talking and whining (ugh! the worst!!).
Something else that I do (this may not be the nicest thing to do) is that when I see another child back talking his mom, I tell Ethan "Wow, that little boy is being very disrespectful to his mother. He is not acting like a good little boy". OK, so this may not be in the "How to be a perfect Mom" handbook but it is working for us!
I hope that this can be helpful for you.

C., I went through the same thing, until I started telling my son to stop and listen. I told him very sternly I am the Mommy and he is the son so I AM THE BOSS. I know you want to be your childs freind but that doesn't work. Kids crave structure and disapline. My mother told me I was actually hurting him by letting develope a bad habit. She said , " you don't want him doing that when he gets older and has to work." She was and is right and our life is the better for it. I started by trying to explain and if that didn,t work he was put in his room on his bed, no toys or books. Then when he settled down we would try talking again. It took only about five times of me sticking to my guns and now when I ask him to do something he does it. YEAH

First off congrats on your new baby. Maybe your daughter is acting out for your attention, because of the new baby. Try having one on one time with just her, see if that helps out.

My daughter is 6 years old and my son is 7 months old and Im encountering the same problem. I think it has something to do with the new baby and she was use to being the only child for so long. I have found that when I spend some one on one time with her every day even if for 15 to 30 minutes that it isnt as bad. It might just be a stage at this age as well, but seriously, spending that special "her time" with her makes a difference. Hope that helps! Good luck.