Need Help with My 3 Year Olds Sleeping Problems

Hi, I am still going through this with my five year old. Having said that I know that it is my fault that I allow him to still do this but he is only little once. I must say that I have been working on it and it is getting better. There are nights that I make him go back to bed and it is no problem and other nights I let him sleep with us. He has always been a cuddler from the time I brought him home from the hospital the only way I could get him to sleep was to let him sleep with me. Now my 2 yr old is completely different from the time I brought him home he has always wanted his sleeping own space and wanted very little to do with cuddling even when he was sick. My boys have always shared a room and while the little one on occasion woke my older one up they got used to each other and now sleep like rocks even when the other one stirs.

Sounds like a bit of jealousy going on, which is normal. With a new baby in the house, you are probably spending more time and attention to the baby and not the 3 year old...which is also normal. Perhaps setting aside some time for just you and your 3 yr old each day with no baby around or take him somewhere special, just the two of you. I would have Dad do the same thing.

Does he have a special toy to sleep with? If not, take him to the store and let him pick one out..telling him this is for being in his own bed and not mommy's bed.

Keeping you in my prayers during this adjustment time.

J.

I had this problem with our 2yo granddaughter, we have had them for over a year. She never slept in her bed all night, she is in love with chocolate milk and Dora. I would explain to her that if she did not stay in her bed all night she would not get chocolate milk or watch Dora. It took a couple days but now it is not a ploblem. I also used bubbles as a reward for a good night!!
V.

Hi M., I don't have a suggestion. Only writting to say we have the same issue with our 3 y/o. Our 5 y/o NEVER got out of bed, sleeps through the night, potty trained in 1 month! our 3 y/o is his own person and has been getting out of bed, traveling down the stairs to our bed every night for about 6 months. I have read they outgrow this, so we really have not focused too much on it. Now is he getting so big, it's a bit more uncomfortable. We are transitioning the kids from toddler beds to twin beds next week. I are hoping that the excitment will keep him in bed. I will say it happended more in the winter months, and when he would get in bed with us, his legs and arms were very cold. So I think that's what work him up initially. This week has been warmer and he hasn't done it. One poster suggested putting your son back in a crib w/ a tent...I think he might revert to babyish behaviors. My 3 y/o would have a fit. Hang in there. I hear it will pass!

You may need to resign yourself to the fact that your 3yo NEEDS to be with you at night to help him transition to being a big brother. This is his time to be close to you, without little brother around. I know it is nice to have your bed back to yourself, but it is only for such a short time that they are little. What I do with a child this age is set a time - maybe help him read the clock. After midnight or 3am or whenever, he can come in mommy & daddy's bed, but before that he has to stay in his room. Or just decide that before a certain time, you will return him to his room; after that you let him stay.

Really, I wouldn't view this as a "sleeping problem", but as very normal behavior for a boy his age, especially with a new baby in the house.

i would be nervous having such a climber unsupervised in the same room as a baby, but that's just me... i would consider putting the baby back in your room in a pack n play or something like that, and closing the door on your older son's room and putting a doorknob cover on it. i would absolutely find a way to nip it in the bud.

Do you think the baby could be waking him up? My son will cryout in the middle of the night or just talk in his sleep. Your little one might be doing the same thing and waking your older son up. Once they are up it is pretty hard to keep them in their beds. You really don't want him to stay in the room with your baby because he might wake him up as well. Do they have to share a room? If they do then I would consider moving the baby crib into your room again.

I have a 4 and a 5 yr old. Both boys. They share a room as well. We obviously don't have the age difference that you have. Our 5 yr old started getting up almost every night and coming into our bed. My husband can sleep right through it. I can not. The kids will snuggle up to me in their sleep and keep me up all night. So I was getting very tired. So, I finally started getting out of bed when he would come down and taking him right back up to his room. I would tuck him back in bed. I might sit with him for a minute or two, but he was tired and would go right back to sleep. After a couple of days he realized that I wasn't going to let him keep sleeping with me and he stopped. I sure hated getting out of bed and taking him back up there, but I had to stop it to get myself some sleep. It was easier than I thought it would be.
Good luck.

I would put him back in a crib with a crib tent so he can't get out. until he is mature enough to sleep in a bed, he should be in a crib.

I made it clear to my kids that if they get out of bed and don't stay in their beds, then they sleep in cribs. I am not in any hurry to have them in big boy beds if they are not going to behave and stay in their beds at night.

Most cribs hold up to 100 pounds... so a 3 year old is fine in one. I love and adore my kids but it is important that they learn rules and mind their parents. It is really a power play, they really dont WANT to SLEEP with you they just want to controll you and they will treat you the way you let them treat you. I don't know any one who gets really good sleep when their are several people in the bed. Kids and parents both are happier when they get a good nights sleep. Plus, sleeping by themselves teach them self confidence. If you watch the episodes of nanny 911 when the kids keep getting out of bed, you can tell they are really just trying to controll the situation.

If the parents would just stick to their guns from the start the kids would not continue to try to manipulate the situation.

good luck-
A.

Hello there,

first of all, they should not share a room. The age difference is too much and the baby might wake him up or vise versa. My daughter at 4 started doing the same thing. Waking up in the night and coming into our bed. We then started taking her back as many times as she came in. this made her realize that there was no gain for waking up.
Put a reading light by his bed and tell him that if he wakes up, then he should turn on the light but must stay in his bed or play in his room. Celebrate with him when he spends the whole night in his bed.

Goodluck.
A.

You didn't say how long this had been going on, but it is quite common for a bit with all children. Maybe he was so used to his quiet room, and if the baby makes nois in the night it wakens him, so he wants you, even if he doesn't cry. Try soothing him, and saying see I have a bed, baby has one and you have one, and mommy and daddy need to sleep so do you , and just put him back, pat him a bit, and in a few nights I bet he stays put.

I don't think it's a sleeping problem for a child, under 5 especially, to crawl into bed with parents in the middle of the night. With most parents I know, their kids do this. Each of my 3 did as well, teetoring off at different ages with each. We put them in their own beds at night and for a few years, one or the other would end up in our bed; sometimes I let them stay and other times I put them back in their beds after awhile. This is part of being a parent. They WILL stop on their own eventually. As long as you and your husband are getting SOME time alone, whatever time that may be, it's fine. Enjoy this time when they WANT to be with you and your husband. Soon enough, they will be independent.

We have 2 year old triplets who like to get out of their beds at night, too. What we have done is put one of the plastic door handle covers on the doorknob inside their bedroom. Once in a while they figure out how to get it off, but usually they just give up and go back to bed.