I was divorced in the end of April 2006 which was ugly, we went to court in Dec 2005 which was a joke. I am not happy with the outcome. My ex left me when I was 4 1/2 months pregnant and wanted me to have an abortion just 1 wk after we got married in a Catholic Church. He or his parents were NEVER involved in the pregnancy or bith/delivery of the baby. Never gave me a dime in child support for a whole year. Never wanted to have kids. Now he acts like he is father of the year. He has NEVER wanted kids and babies has always freaked him out. He moved in w/his parents and they control everything he says, does. He can not make any decisions on his own. He is EXTREMELY immature for his age, he acts like he is 12 instead of 35.
He quit his job so he can work somewhere making less money so he won't have to pay that much in child support. He gets the baby every Tues and Thur for 4 hrs plus 30 min each way travel time and every 1,3,5th sunday from 4-9am Monday morning. Which I think is way too soon for him to have stay overs. He has separation anxiety and wakes up every night wanting me. Once he turns 18 months he will get him for 5 hrs plus travel time and in addition 1,3,5 Sat from 10-6 and at 2 yrs he will get him for 6 hrs plus travel time. Once he turns 3 yrs he gets standard extended visitation every Tue and Thur for 6 hrs plus travel time and on the 1,3,5th weekend from Thurs until Monday.
He also has the same rights as me and my ex can take him out of the country and all he has to do is just give me 7 day notice.
My ex is a waiter at some whole in the wall resturant in Plano and has NO Motivation in life. Being a waiter is all he has ever done. He failed/dropped out of college.
He has no money but his parents do.They live in Plano and they control everything and are VERY Fake people.
I think i was done wrong in the court. Everything he had ever done from leaving his preg wife while on bedrest with no money was ALL waived. I didn't get any back child support.
I really think that my ex deserves to have my son as much as he is and will when it turns to standard vistation. I don't think that it's in the best interest of my son.
Any comments or suggest, help is appreciated.
I want to take him back to court but I don't have money. I will be finished with school in Jan.
Hi S.,
I am sorry about all of your troubles. In the eyes of the law he has just as much right to the baby as you do- no matter what his problems are he is still dad- as long as he is not physically harming the child they are probably not going to revisit this ruling.
Hang in there!
S.,
1)I am so sorry to hear, I definitely feel that you did not win in your situation from your side of the story. Have you tried probono? Some Attorneys do this they need so many thours on their Resume or Do it as an act of kindness.
2)Do some investigation work yourself ie: Library,bookstore,So on.
3)Try FREE legal advice
Good Luck,
A.
Did you file with the Attorney General, its free and I am sure they can be of assistance. I had my child support and visitation set up through the Attoney General.
The only thing I can think to do is keep a record of everything!
I found this web-site http://www.custody911.com/
I hope it helps.
TLee
S.,
I know we've talked about this before, but unfortunately, the law does not care about most of the stuff that you feel so passionate about. I know it's hard to come to terms with emotionally. Did you try those message boards I suggested? Those are filled with people who have BTDT and they might give you some advice on great coping skills. The problem with taking away some of your ex's visitation is that you can't take him back to court unless there has been some SIGNIFICANT change in circumstance and so far, that hasn't happened. I have a 17 month old who has separation anxiety too. That is normal for that age and no judge is going to decrease your ex's visitation just because of something most all toddlers do.
I have a 7 yr old stepdaughter who came to visit us last month. She had anxiety for 3 days before the trip, missed her mom terribly for 2 days once she was here, and is now missing US terribly. That kind of stuff is totally normal for kids, especially divorced kids. Judges know that too.
I have a friend who is a great family lawyer. Would you like her name and number? I won't tell her anything about you and maybe that would give you the change to get an unbiased 2nd opinion. She may still be out on maternity leave, but I can check.
Hang in there. You haven't been divorced very long and I still think that your ex will eventually get bored and you will probably see his visitation decrease naturally. It takes time though; it won't happen overnight.
