Need Help with 4 Yr. Old Having Potty Accidents

Normal boy stuff - he is too busy playing. We still have pee accidents a few times a month. ALWAYS at home, never the sitter or the mall etc. Stinker waits until he needs to poop to go to the bathroom and sometimes wets his pants when he is engrossed in playing - usually video games or Leog's - something that takes a lot of concentration. SO, I still ask him if he needs to go every 90 minutes and when I relax and assume he'll be o.k. he has an accident.
Also, I've noticed if he's taking fever medicine or cold medicine he tends to pee a river before he even notices - usually it's just a little leak and he runs to finish in the toilet.
We have a policy that 1 accident a month is acceptable - more than 1 in a week or day has consequences - bigger consequences if he lies to cover it up or if he has the accident after telling me he doesn't need to go to the bathroom. We take away TV or video game time and he usually will be really good for at least a month after.
Boys....*sigh*

Yes some of these issues can be attributed to not thinking or part of the training of the mind and CNS. Some can be physical.
UTI's can cause reccurring potty accidents.The bacteria aggitates the urethra and causes leakage, frequency, and urgency(accidents.) Make sure you don't give bubble baths, if a child pees in the water, the soap goes up the urethra and carries bacteria up there with it.

Parasites can cause potty accidents.

Too much dairy and/or a lack of magnesium. Sometimes too much dairy will cause a magnesium imbalance because of all that calcium in the milk,(they should be taken in equal amounts)

Fulvic acid supplement can give the needed magnesium.

I started giving my 6 yr old boy: Fulvic acid and SAMENTO (antibacterial)and the night time accidents stopped.

Good luck.

Just relax!!! This is typical behavior with potty training, sometimes, and sometimes kids just totally get it and have no snags. The roughing in period for a new skill takes some time and patience. Remember about logical consequences for our actions. If he pees himself, then he's wet. He will have to go change his clothes. Show him where to place the wet clothing, keep it matter of fact, take out the frustration and punishment concepts, and just trust him, that as soon as the time is Totally Right for HIM, he will show you he has mastered the art of potty training.

I feel your frustration. I know you are looking for an answer, but there isn't one. This is the potty training time, and this is classically how it goes. They often revert for a short time. It will pass. My oldest is 4 1/2 and still has an accident about once a month or so. He is still learning, so I never give him an option. I just say "Let's go pee" and if he argues I say "Let's just try" and march him in there. He knows I wont back down, so he doesn't fight much.

Yes, he might be trying to get your attention, and it's working, but SO WHAT? He Loves you and wants your attention.

Hi C.,

I've been through this with my son and still going through it with my daughter. My son is 5 and a half and I think the last time he actually had an accident was around June of last year - and it had been several months since the last one before that. But until about 5 or so, you really have to continue to pay attention and remind them to go when you see the tell tale signs that they need to go or remind them every 3-5 hours (depending on your child's bladder capacity and control - you probably have a pretty good idea how often he needs to go), and especially when they are really into their playing or watching a show. And you need to continue to have strict rules about certain times when he must always go - when he gets up in the morning, before you leave the house to go anywhere for any length of time, before he takes a nap, when he gets up from nap, and right before he goes to bed at night. My son no longer takes naps, so we don't have that one anymore, but we do still insist that he go potty before we leave the house for a long time when there won't be a bathroom available and before he goes to bed. Otherwise, he has demonstrated that he can and will do it on his own even when he's in the middle of an activity, so we pretty much let him take care of himself. But my daughter is almost 4 (next month) and she still has accidents every now and then and goes through stages - like right now, in fact - when she will consistently have an accident almost every day for a couple of weeks. She is probably going through a growth spurt or some other developmental change and she may also have a little bit of a cold or some other bug that's throwing her off. For us, most if not all the accidents are when she's at school and we have the sense that the school has been relaxing a little bit in terms of potty vigilance in general. At home, we stick to our rules and we also stay tuned in to her and if we see the signs that she needs to go, we insist that she listen to her body and go pee and/or poop in the toilet, physically taking her in there and sitting her down if necessary. And we talk about needing to listen to our bodies and taking control of our bodies to make sure we pee and poop in the potty and not our pants.

Be patient, it will happen. Good luck!

N.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Our son had a lot of accidents at age four. We still get them rarely at age six. I, too, thought we'd be long done with this.

Our son didn't care, either, when he was four. I think at preschool it wasn't that rare to happen, so he'd see other kids do it and think it wasn't a big deal. What really made all the difference in the world was starting kindergarten. Wow, the accidents greatly declined. Now, when he has the rare accident, he's extremely embarrassed. One time the school had to call me down there because he refused to come out of the bathroom after an accident ... he thought the other kids would laugh at him. Peer pressure can be a good thing.

I honestly think with older kids, the incentives don't matter much (we've tried them all). You should make your son help with the clean up, though. I just think with boys in particular, they take a while to mature and potty training is one element that can lag.

Good luck!