Need Help with 4 Yo with Nightmares

Hi Christy,
I am a Mom of 2 kids with a huge 14 year gap between the two, and I have to tell you these night terrors and nighmares are normal for this age. It may be an underlying confidence issue. Not trying to say that your daughter is not confident in herself or that there is a problem like that, but with some kids (my girl especially) there is a great bond between mother and daughter. And sometime they just want to be really close (sometimes uncomfortably close to mommy) I didn't find this to be true with my son, I handled his nightmares differently.
With my daughter however, I went into her room while she was crying about her nightmare, and asked her to remember the nightmare in a calm voice like she's telling a story. The whole time I am holding her and rocking her and telling her this will be over as soon as she faces her fears.. In order to do this she must relate to what was so scary in her dream. Usually she is able to recount the story and realize it wasn't so scary after all and was able to go back to sleep. Of course I also play mellow music during her recounting of the nightmare to help her relax and know this is reality and not part of her dream. I sometimes let her pick the music, it seems Hawaiian music does the best in calming her. You may want to try soothing music while you speak with her. Or even as part of a night time ritual to help her get to and stay asleep.
As a mother I warn you not to coddle her when she is afraid. Be sympathetic, but not overly so.. if you give her the power, she will take it.(learned the hard way with my son)
Make her realize it was just a dream and nothing will come of it, but make her (and I really mean make her) try to remember the dream, because dreams really do have meaning behind them.. sometimes it's somthing that's happening at home that you are unaware of or at day care that she doesnt' know how to tell you. she will learn, but you have to teach her.
I make my daughter face her fears because I may not always be around to help her deal with them. I believe children are not only capable of handling their fears, but are also capable of over coming them, but they need guidance. Now, if there is a dream she is having over and over again - you may want to take her to your pediatric Dr. and ask what you should do to help her..
I agree with the food issue, too late and it's possible to have wild dreams, too sweet and it's possible to have outrageous dreams, not late enough and the nightmares could turn out to be food chasing you down. (I've actually had that dream, fasting for a procedure, boy was I hungry) But remember in the long run, this is your childs nightmare, and although it can be very taxing on you and her Daddy, these fears are very real to her and need to be addressed when she is having them, not the next day.. by then it's too late, the feeling is gone. remember to ask her how she feels about the dream and remember to tell her that You will ALWAYS protect her as best as you can.
My daughter is nearly 7 years old and she still wakes from night mares - do you know what she does now? She comes into my bedroom, wakes me up, tells me she had a nighmare (bad dream) and needed a hug so she could go back to sleep. She says it's ok now, because she's learned to face her fears, she reounts the dream in her room before she comes to see me, then she gets her hug and goes back to bed. I dont' have to get up and hold her anymroe. Her dreams started when she was 2 years old. she had dreams that she was dying or went to sleep and never woke up (she hadn't seen or heard the story of sleeping beauty back then) it turns out that particular dream was an ongoing event until she really did almost die. We had her in the hospital for 3 days with pneumonia because a Dr. mis diagnosed her for nearly a month and I put my trust in him - I don't trust easily anymore, if I feel she is sick and need attention that her Dr. isn't giving her I will get a second opinion because I told my daughter I would always keep her safe from harm and I would always be there to protect her. Needless to say, those dreams stopped and now she is having other issues relating to stress's of starting a new school and meeting new kids. You see I've had some time to get thru this. Don't worry you will too.
I do hope this helps
aloha
E.

christy
when i was little 'too cold' of a room would cause me to have nightmares. same thing with my girls, though they're not at the point i can call them nightmares yet for them.
but i don't know if you use a dim nightlight in her room, that could maybe help her not be scared.
for me, my mom had to come and sleep in the same room with me for a while.
i remember vividly my nightmares, all snake-related and nothing people said helped me overcome my fears. what helped was having my mom in the room before falling asleep.
she's usually slip out after i was in deep sleep though i was calm because i thought she was there.
also, discuss this with ped. he/she might have some other suggestion
vlora

I had the same thing happen to my 4 year old son, what I did was take him shopping for a "special" pillow..like on with a favorite cartoon charator on it.I told him that that special pillow keeps all the bad dreams away b/c it is a 'good dream pillow'. Also try to keep a sticker chart and if she stays in bed all night for 7 days she gets to go for a special treat. Hope this helps.

I don't know a mother who has a child that didn't go thru that. Some people say it's what they eat, some say it's what they watch on TV (even some cartoons can give kids nightmares), and some say that is can come from them sleeping uncomfortabley. Is it happening EVERY night? If not, what happen the day of the nightmare, what was she doing or watching. Try making sure she is comfortable in her room. Are there any toys that might frighten a child at night? Are there any tree's or bushes outside of her window that could give off shadows of something? If all else fails talk to her doctor and see what s/he can tell you.

Hope this helps,
P.

I had this problem with my little girl, possibly the same problem. I monitored her food compared with the nightmare episodes, and discovered she was reacting to balogna! I removed the balogna from her diet,and no more nightmares. What a relief!
Try this and see if your little girl can get relief with a simple diet change, too.
I always search for a non-drug way to cope with things, especially with children. In the case of balogna, packed with chemicals, removing it was a no-tears adjustment.
A.

Hi Christy

You might try having a sleep study done. It is a pain because you have to spend the night with your child at an unfamiliar place but the results can be quite helpful. Just a thought as my four year old girl has them as well.

Hi Christy,

My son also had MANY nightmares. His wasn't just nightmares but night terrors. They scared me to death, especially until I realized that they were terrors instead of nightmares. Anyways, I accredited his nightmares to his intense imagination and the heat. The best thing I found that subdues the amount of terrors and nightmares he had was to make sure that his room was cool and he slept without socks. The extra heat sometimes can bring one on. He is now 7 years old and he rarely has a nightnare and hasn't had a terror for a couple of years now, so be comforted by knowing that they do grow out of it.

L.