What Do We Do When Our Daughter Wakes up in the Middle of the Night?

My youngest son at about the same age 2/12-3 years old had what the dr called Night Terrors, Where he would start screaming in his sleep his eyes wide open but he really was not awake. What we found to help him and us is if we touched him to let him know we were there, rub his back like you do and when he had calmed down we told him it was time to get ready for bed and we would get up and go to the bathroom, potty and brush teeth. It seemed to be the brushing of the teeth that indicated to him all was well. He would go back to bed and be asleep as soon as his little head hit the pillow. After a while it was simply getting up and going potty was enough. Perhaps it was just the fact he got OUT of bed and walked somewhere else he was really awake and not somewhere inbetween sleep and terror.
Good luck.

Hi J.. My son suffers from "night terrors" and has for years. If you can google "night terrors" I think you'll get alot of answers. If you're a Christian, you should also rebuke satan in the name of Jesus Christ. Hopefully the info you get will tell you not to spend alot of time with your child because they are in a deep sleep. It's amazing how it seems like they are awake but they're not and won't really remember the night terror in the morning if you don't try to wake them. Good Luck!!!
Tracy F.

Dunno if this will work for you, but it did work for me.

Children LOVE a routine. What worked for me when my girl was really little, was to feed her, bathe her and play with her..., then 2 hours after she got up, I put her down for a nap. When she woke up, it was usually around time for her lunch.., when she would eat, play, and then 2 hours after she ate, I put her down for a nap, tired or not.

I put her to bed every night by 7 p.m. She had a "Tad" Leap Frog toy that played songs and I could set it where it would say "Six minutes until night-night." Just before she would go to bed, I would rock her, make sure her diapers were dry, and then read a short bedtime story (She's now 5-years-old and still loves to be read to just before we say her prayers and she goes to sleep.) Her favorite story was "A Home For A Bunny" (you can pick it up at Amazon.com or a favorite bookstore). Then I turned on her "Tad", kissed her goodnight and closed the door.

If she woke up during the night, I would go in her room and make sure she didn't need a diaper change. I would then tell her "It's not time to get up yet..., it's still night time; turn her music back on and then close the door. It may take a bit, but they do eventually settle in. And since they do have a routine, it helps keep them from getting too tired, and believe me, if they get too tired, they are not going to sleep much at night.

So, even at 5-years-old, we still have her in bed by 7 p.m. She usually wakes up at the same time every morning, in fact, we don't usually even set our clocks, because she's up each morning by 7 a.m.

Hope this helps.

N. B.

Hi J.,
I don't know why this comes to mind for sure but, how often do you talk about the new baby coming? Does your little girl respond well with conversations about the new baby or kind of still be in suspense about the whole event about to happen? I know for sure that my daughter, at about that age, after being potty trained for many months, started wetting her pants again just because we were talking about a trip we were going to take and she just didn't understand quite what a trip was. Simple as that. I do know that two year olds are learning more at their age than any other age so they also are aware of more little things. Anyway, I just thought you might just try to be aware of what new thing might be coming up that you are excited about and she doesn't understand what her role will be because of it. I guess all you can do until you figure it out is comfort her and make sure she knows you're there for her. Somethings waking her up and I also agree with all the others you have heard from. Great advice. I'm sure it will turn out to be okay:o)

Has she had a traumatic experience recently? Maybe try some soft classical music being played all night or some white noice like the sound boexes that play the ocean sound.

This probably isn't the advice that you wanted, but I still wanted to reassure you that your daughter isn't the only kid who does this. My son is also 2 1/2 and he wakes up in the night just like that sometimes, screaming and crying like he's scared. He also decided that he doesn't take naps anymore (it wasn't worth all the frustration on my part in trying to get him to nap when he clearly didn't want to).
I've found that when he goes to bed at a decent time, around 8, he sleeps the best at night and doesn't wake up at all. If he's too tired and goes to bed too late, he wakes up during the night.
On those nights, we either lay with him until he falls back to sleep or he comes into our bed and we move him to his bed later. I will admit it's not very convenient.
I'm going to be reading what advice you get from other moms. I too want to know what can be done if anything.
I believe though that it's something kids do. As long as it's not becoming a nightly thing, I don't think you should worry. Cuddle your kids and take care of them while they still want you to. All too soon they won't WANT us around anymore! Good luck! And like I said, I know this isn't good advice, but I hope you're reassured knowing that others are going through the same thing!

If she "wakes up screaming" with in a couple of hours after she has gone to bed.....it sounds like "Night Terrors". I would definately look it up on Google - there is tons of info. Sometimes - my son does this and you just have do what you can. Be calming. My understanding is that night terrors is when they are in the between state. Their mind and body are not on the same page basically - One is trying to wake up and the other part is still asleep -hence the crying and disorientation. Sooth her and let her know she's ok. And it's different everytime too. Sometimes my son - pushes me away. He's not awake - that's his defense. I can go on about this - but read up on "Night Terrors", because that's what it sounds like to me. Hang in there. good luck - it's not suppose to last that long. And it's usually not an ongoing process either.

If it's not night terrors, maybe ask her if there is something that is scaring her in her room, or take another look at what she is watching on TV. Kids that age are mimics and believe what they see is real. If my son is acting out anyway - I try to go over what he's been watching recently. Your daughter will tell you....Just ask. You'd be surprised what they can tell you.

Dear J.: I am assuming that this is something that just started, not since she was a baby. The obvious is, any changes, including the new baby, people around her, especially other kids, that may have told her something. I am not an advocate for Therapists and drugs for every single problem, they serve a good purpose, but way over used!! Anyway, see what you can gleen from her when she is awake, and maybe get some, "new baby" books that are age appropriate and set a positive role for the older sibling. You can usually find the source if you track back to when it started. My oldest took a whole different approach, she un-potty trained herself, and put it on the walls!!!! It may not be the baby, but it still doesn't hurt to get her involved as soon as you can. Good Luck, I will be praying for peaceful sleep for all of you :) R.

I don't know if your little girl is having night terrors or just bad dreams. From talking to friends it seems that this is the age when kids start to get scared by their dreams. What works for me and my kids, is to comfort them and have them tell me about the dream. Usually as they tell me about the dream, it becomes less clear and harder to remember, and then becomes less real and less scary. As for not taking naps, my kids tried to do the same thing. This is how I tricked my son. I would tell him he didn't have to go to sleep but he did have to lay in bed for 30 min. and I would set a timer. Most days he fell asleep, and if he didn't well I still got 30 min. of much needed down time. For my daughter
I just read her a book, and tell her she can lay there and look at books, but she can only get off the bed to go potty.
Then I leave the room. She ususaly gets to sleep with in 30min or so. But with a new Baby coming it's a good idea to set up some quiet down time for yourself, you're going to need it.
Good luck with the bad dreams,follow your instincts, you know what your child needs. :)

Do you think that maybe she is experiencing "night terrors?"
http://www.parenting.com/article/Child/Behavior/Ask-Dr.-S...

It sounds like she's feeling unsettled about something. Has anything happened to throw her off kelter? Is it always on certain days? Is she spending time w/a particular person on or around that day? Is she eating a particular food on those days? If giving up naps is the only thing different, it sounds like an indicator that she's really not ready to give up naps or she needs to go to bed earlier so she's not so over tired.

At 2 1/2 she's just not capable of expressing herself verbally (likely) and just doesn't know how else to work through this but clearly something is troubling her.

Ultimately you have to do what works for you. My DD didn't sleep through the night for 2 years. I never really thought I had a stance on CIO but when my DD was little I just couldn't let her cry. I would dig and dig and try to find some causative factor.

ps: Just thought of something else. Maybe some lavendar or vanilla essential oil (available at the Herbalist downtown) sprinkled sparingly on her bedding would be soothing and help her sleep through the night.

C.-WAHM to 4 y/o virtual twins
Owner: www.BeHappierAtHome.com

Hi J.,

We are going through the same thing at our house so I sympathize! Our daughter will be 3 the end of April. We believe her issue may be due to allergies... I notice the yelling in her sleep, crying out, thrashing the most on nights she has gone to bed stuffy. Also if she is dressed too warmly (footy pj's). If the brain isn't getting enough oxygen it will hallucinate causing Night Terrors. We are using the following tricks: we only read very nice books before going to sleep (no monsters), Flax seed and lavender pillow in her bed at night(soothing), peppermint tea before bed (cooling and helps with her sinuses) and Hyland's Calms Forte for kids tablets just before bed. On those nights she does have her terrors we just bring her into bed with us. It's easier than getting up all night long :)
Since we started using the above tricks her bad nights have become fewer and farther between. I'm not sure if what we're doing is working but it seems to be!
Good luck :)

Hi J., it sounds like she is having night terrors. My niece went through that for quite a while. My sister-in-law finally took her to the doctor, because they were becoming a nightly event. He told her that highly intelligent children often have night terror, because the minds are so busy even in sleep. They do stop in time. I'm sure your daughters dreams are very vivid and hard for her to distingish between the dream world and being awake. We have all had that experience of am I awake now or still dreaming. Thier is a difference between letting her cry it out when you first put her down then after having a terrifing dream. My in-laws had alot of sleepless nights, but it eventually slowed down and then stopped all together. I wish all the luck in the world. =)

My daughter suffered from night terror and nightmares for many years. Finally we got frustrated enough to talk to her doctor. We were only letting her watch about an hour of TV a day, and only prescreened videos and cartoons that were non-violent. The doctor suggested that it could be due to things that DH and I watch when she is in another room, or playing and seeming to not pay attention. It was just shows like Friends, and a couple other non-violent sitcoms, but he suggested we nix all TV viewing like that until she is asleep. We did, and within 2 nights, the nightmares and night terrors stopped. The mind processes in dreams everything it views and hears during the day. If there is anything disturbing, it will manifest as nightmares. The only time we have any night wakings now is if something happened at school, she heard something upsetting about the news (like our recent tornado), or things like that.

Try to eliminate all scary or confusing things she is exposed to during the day, and you may notice more pleasant dreams at night.

Also, for the night terrors, we have found that the best way to deal with them is to play into them instead of trying to calm her down or tell her she is dreaming. I'll say "Mommy is right here, I am taking care of everything now, you're safe" or if I can figure out what her dream is about based on what she is saying/screaming then I can get more specific. This seems to guide her dream into a new direction instead of waking her up and having her fall back into the same dream when she goes back to sleep.

My son went through that too. You just have to suck it up and deal with it. Kids that age are too old to "cry it out". If she is crying it's because she needs you.