Need Help with 3 Year Old's Sleep Issues

well...
first of all you have to figure out if there is a need involved.
is she scared of anything? are there wierd noises at night? is something poking her? are there spiders or something in her room that could have bit her once? any windows without curtains or shades? branches tapping on windows or roofs? mice in the house? scratchy pajama tags or something? too cold? too hot? nightmares?

if any of those of course you have to be sensitive to her feelings and dont make her uncomfortable. she doesnt have to sleep in your bed if you dont want her to, but she can perhaps have a special place on the floor in your room. a matress, or a couple blankets laid on the floor. :D

night is a tough time for most kids. its hard when they cant quite see whats around them. im still nervous when im someplace that i cant see totally... dark or deep water you know?
maybe try running a fan or something? i dont know. something is going on, and its better to nurture her and help her to get through this than to just think shes being a stink. i cant see a kid purposly waking up at night just to 'get their way' or osmething you know? why would a kid who doesnt have any issues sleeping wake themselves up for a selfish reason? i just dont see hwo its possible.

so deal with it in a sensitive way.. see if it goes away on its own. she wont want to sleep in your room when shes 12 or anything, so its not like you are teaching her a 'bad habit' per say. and then, you might MISS her nightly visits! :D

anyway good luck.
see if www.askdrsears.com has any information for you.

It sounds like she is going through a phase where she is worried/scared to be apart from you. I would try to be extremely consistent on bedtime as far as both time (early enough so she isn't overtired) and routine (do the exact same things in the exact same order) for a good couple of weeks to see if that improves things. I'd try to talk to her about what is upsetting her. Why doesn't she want to go to bed? If she is scared, I'd work on resolving some of those fears (if she wants all the lights on because of monsters or something like that, I'd go with her to get an extra special night light that scares monsters away).

If she doesn't want to be away from you, I'd go through the bedtime routine, put her in bed and then tell her that you'll sit in her room for awhile. Sit near the door and don't have any interaction with her - its not playtime, but just being there may reassure her enough that she can get more settled and sleepy. If she gets out of bed, say nothing, but gently put her back in bed. Slowly you can shorten the time you sit. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, let her sleep on the floor - who cares? I bet she will move out of this phase quicker if she feels that she can come to you whenever she needs to.

Hang in there - I'm sure this will pass.

B.

Hello~ I'm going through something similiar with my son too who will be 4 in February. He too used to go down with no problems. Now he is "scared" he gets out of bed several times a night before he falls asleep, I am constantly reassuring him that everything is okay. When he gets up I walk him back to bed and this goes on for over an hour. I have tried "monster spray" which didn't really work, but I sprayed a "special spray" to keep him safe. Now because he is scared, we check under his bed, in his toy box, in his closet etc to know that everything is safe and that there is no need to be scared. I have also put in a second nightlight, one on each end of the room, which seems to help too. He has gotten better with these additions to our nighttime routine however I think this is just a phase, their little imaginations are running wild. I think it is a healthy sign of a growing brain.

sounds like the changes and maybe some stressors of not having a schedule has made her a little unsure. My daughter went through a phase where she bacame afraid to go to sleep and wanted a night light when she had never had one before. We tried very hard to stick to a bedtime ritual and the same sleep time,and eventually things got better. It did take quite a while, but we were firm about not coming to our room. I did sometimes go in and lay with her for a while, but any of those things you do will become expected. I ususally set time limits and would tell her "mom will lay with you for 10 minutes then I have to go to my bed." It can be hard to find what works, but keep trying, it should get better!

It just sounds like she needs a little extra reassurance that nighttime is a safe and wonderful time to be asleep in one's own bedroom. I think you can let her cuddle in bed with you in your bed for a while and then give her rewards each morning (like a toy or a special treat) for a few days and then taper off the rewards for sleeping all night in her own bed without you. I think all that inconsistency the fall season has brought to your family's sleep schedule has stirred things up for her and made her a little anxious. It's natural. Give her all the reassurance she asks for and eventually she'll find sleep is best in her own bedroom. Tomorrow (Friday) is the full moon...just so you know...things might get worse before they get better!!

Every child is so different! I would encourage you to read Night Time Parenting by Dr Sears and go to Ask Dr Sears Web site, the book saved our lives. Three in a bed is a great book too. We don't sleep alone as adults, it is hard to ask the same of our children. A sleeping bag or crib mattress on the floor is a great solution. Our 4 year old often ends up between us and quite frankly, I love the closeness and snuggle time. The bottom line is quality sleep for everyone and that may involve a stage where you have your little one close for some time. Embrace it and enjoy it, soon they will go to school and the school will get to raise them for a significant portion of each day. She is needing to be close, so keep her close. She will push you away soon enough as she is older.
Hope this helps!
Blessings,
J.

My son is 2 and a half and a few months ago, he started doing the same thing. He had always gone to bed happily before, but all of a sudden he would cry, and do the coughing gagging thing. He would scream and kick. I bought a book called Bed Time. It is a sound book that has a button you push to play a lullaby. It goes through the bed time ritual in the book. It says "Today we played and had lots of fun, but now we are tired and ready for bed. First there are some things to do. Let us show you too. First we pick up our toys... Then take a bath...we go potty, put jammies on and brush our teeth. Then we settle down for story time! We turn on a night light before getting into bed for a great big hug and kiss. I just love bedtime. Good night and sweet dreams. Then I play the lullaby for my son. I follow everything in the book. Then I tell him that I love him and I will see him in the morning. He then will whine just a bit. But I will tell him that he can keep the book with him and play the song as many times as he would like. I then say I am tired and I need to go to my bed and go to sleep. He won't whine or cry anymore. He will play the song a few times and then he is quiet. I hope that you can have good luck doing something similar. I really love our book, though. It has worked well for us. Good luck! -L.