My boyfriend has his children every weekend, they are 4 and 1 years old. For the past 3 months the 1 year old sleep pattern has changed dramatically, he would sleep most of the night but wake up at 3 or 4 a.m., and then he went to sleeping all night and waking up at 5:30 a.m. The last month, we try to get him to bed around 8, but he will wake up at 11, 1, 3, 4, 5 and just stay awake! We think he has allergies so we have a humidifier on for him to help his breathing.
His mom usually puts him down between 6:30 and 7:00, but that is way to early for him to be going to bed, so we usually keep him awake until at least 8 or 8:30 hoping he will sleep later, but he has other plans lol. We will give him a bottle when he wakes up and he will drink it but will wake up anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and half later. Not sure what could be wrong, he is not wet or sick.
His mom says there is nothing wrong with him, but it is just very uncommon for a 1 year old not to be sleeping through the night. Any suggestions as to what we could do to have him (and us) sleep through the night? He is a healthy 1 year old, just wont sleep lol.
Any suggestions you may have is worth a try.
Thank you,
A one year old will usually sleep better if the schedule remains the same. Could you possibly keep his sleep schedule the same as when he is with his mother? Does he sleep all night for his mother?
It's funny how it works, but I find that my kids sleep longer when they go to bed earlier. If Mom puts him down at 6:30-7 and doesn't have all these issues that you do, then you should try that. Also, being in a somewhat unfamiliar environment could very well affect his sleeping. Is the humidifier cold? The warm air ones breed germs and could cause problems.
Well first of all, you are changing his sleep pattern when he is over at your boyfriend's home. If mom puts him to bed at 6:30 you all need to stay on that schedule and not screw it up.
However the real issue is more likely that he is to young to be spending the night away from mommy. Why don't you suggest to your bf that he wait a couple of years before having the baby on overnights?
ok....this is somewhat normal for a 1 year old to get up several times during the night. How many months is he? Did he just turned one? or almost 2?
First of all, going to bed around 6:30/7:00 is a good time, depending on his nap schedule during the afternoon. Most kids give up their morning nap after their first birthday. Both of my kids gave up their morning naps after 15 months. But what was great was that their afternoon naps were 2-3 hours long. But every child is different. My niece takes maybe an hour nap and then goes down for the night around 6:30/7:00 and gets up around 7:00 a.m. Kids this age need 12-15 hours sleep, but each child is different on what their body needs. So depending on his nap in the afternoon is usually what I would suggest on when you put him down that night. It may differ each day, but you should keep the routine the same. If he goes to bed with his mom at 6:30/7:00 you should do the same. Keeping him up later will definitely not make him sleep later. Sorry!
The bottle....this is touchy....especially since you're not mom, but most children should get rid of their bottle after their first birthday. That is a personal choice and it's up to his mom and dad to decide on how that and when that happens. He should be getting cows milk after his first birthday and definitely NOT in his bottle, preferably a sippy cup. This will help with the transition from breastmilk/formula to cows milk. No association with the bottle/breast to sippy cup - milk. ALSO, don't give in and give him a bottle at night. You're starting a bad habit, and he likes knowing that when he wakes up you're going to give him a bottle. Wouldn't you wake up more often if you knew you could get something you liked served to you in bed! Just walk him back to bed and tuck him in, rub his back, sing a song, and leave the room. Is he is a big bed or a crib?
If you want, read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, she has one for babies and one for toddlers. GREAT read and really helped us with our first child. Does he sleep all night for his mom? She might be a bit firmer in the "get back to bed routine" then you all. You have to be firm, but not mean. You don't want to associate bad feelings, thoughts, emotions with sleep, or you'll have a bigger problem on your hands.
Allergies/Humidfier is a good idea, especially now that it is getting colder, but if he has allergies go see his pediatrician or talk to mom about this. All kids get runny noses and congestion this time of year and it does wake them up several times a night, but he has to learn how to go back to sleep on his own and not have you all there to help.
Keep a good bedtime routine going is key! Bath, books, bed is a good start. Have his older sibling help. Make it a special time for you all to bond, especially if you are going to be his in his fathers life. Despite the young age, he knows you and trusts you. Be good about putting him down when he is drowsy and not asleep. Teach him to fall asleep on his own and not with ya'lls help.
My little boy is almost 2 1/2 years old. He was a great sleeper as a baby and did well transitioning to his big bed. However, around age 2 his imagination began, so waking up during the night d/t dreams is a bit common and normal. He would actually sleep walk into our bedroom and fall asleep on the floor pillows we would throw down. If we would hear him, we would walk him back to his bed and tuck him in. He just sort of grew out of it, (we hope!) but it's normal for this to happen. You go through spurts where they are great sleepers and the go through other periods where they are not. He could be dreaming or having night terrors, or waking up in a new place that is unfamiliar for him. You said he sees you all every other weekend, so this might play into this waking up routine.
Be firm and loving and all will work out in the end. Hope this helps and do read those books, check them out of the library, they are great to read and worked for us!!
Good luck!
A. B
E. -
Just curious...what happens when you put him to sleep at the same time his mother does 5 nites a week? It is possible that keeping him up that extra hour or two is what is throwing his sleep patterns off. IF the same thing is happening at his home with his mother, ask her what she does...if not....then maybe you should try putting him to bed at the same time she does. Ask yourself is his bed time really too early for the child....or is it too early for you and it interferes with your plans....
I know with my 3 boys...ages 3,7,9 IF they miss their normal bedtime by even 30 minutes the rest of the night is off....either they don't go to sleep for an hour or two later...OR they go to sleep but do not sleep soundly. And honestly...my kids' bed times are at 8:30 pm. And that is only a recent change with school and after school activities. When my older 2 were 3 and under....it was VERY rare for them to be up past 7:30. SO, I encourage you to talk to his mother, ask her about his sleep habits, and then adjust your schedule accordingly.
T.
Well if you have tried food that sticks with you for a super and a snack, he might be cold nature-ed and need to be warmer to sleep. If he has allergies that could keep waking him up. Maybe an air purifier. I have melatonin for my son from a Dr's suggestion. However, my son take allergy meds too. It could be anxiety from having to come and go between parents. I would just reassure him that you love him too, and maybe just do more things with him, wear him out more, or read to him. I wish you all the best, and I hope you get a lot of responses.
Who says that 6:30 is too early? It may be for you, but not necesarily for the baby. My son used to go to bed at 6:00 pm faithfully. Every night, including weekends. That was the schedule that worked for him. The baby may not be sleeping well because he is over tired, from you guys keeping him up the extra few fours or so. When they get over tired, they don't sleep well.
My suggestion is to stay with the schedule his mom has for him. If that means that you guys have to get up a little early on the weekend, so be it. At least you won't be exhausted from having been up all night.
If she puts him to bed that early then he's used to it, and probably getting over tired from staying up later. I know my daughter, 2 years old, if she stays up even 30 minutes later than when she needs to go to sleep, she'll get over tired and will stay up til 1 or 2 in the morning. Babies do that though. If they're not completely comfortable with their surroundings they may not sleep well. I'd say to put him to bed when his mother does, and ask how she does it and what she does when he wakes up.
Even though you have him every weekend, he is probably not adjusting to his surroundings, and is in a different bed, so it makes him feel different. The same with us.. we never sleep as good in a strange bed. May just have to deal with it. Many adjustments for a little one. Good luck and God Bless.
Hes probably having anxiety from being away from his mom. I got my step daughter every other weekend and she would wake up in the middle of the night becuase she was scared of the dark. The earlier you put the baby to bed the later they sleep. Believe it or not putting them to sleep later doesnt make them sleep in any later then usual. My son goes to bed at 7pm and wakes at 7am. Ive tried putting him to bed later at night around 8 or 9 and he still wakes at 7. So ill just put him to bed at 7 because to me it doesnt make a difference. If you put him to sleep at 7 and he still wakes up try and go to his crib or toddler bed and just sooth him and reassure him that you are still there and make sure not to turn on lights when doing this and make it boring. The boring the better so he can wind back down and go back to sleep. I hoped this helped. I wish the best of luck.
Like the others have said you need to stick with his routine that he has with his mom. Once he is past the sleepy stage and into that fighting sleep state that can just lead to a horrible night. At least that how it is with my son whos 21 months. Another thing you said he was 1 but not how many months old he is. Around 18 months old babies start to dream and remember the dreams for the first time and this can cause them to wake up during the night. The dreams are new to them and can excite them. Its a phase and lasts till about 2 years old then they will go back to sleeping normally. You just have to stick it out and keep to his routine and hope this stage of toddlerhood passes quickly.
First, it's really not odd for a 1yr old to not be sleeping through the night. My 2 yr old has always been a bad sleeper, so I have talked to lots of moms about this trying to get help, and lots of babies do this. With my son, I am pretty sure it is my fault, with my problem being inconsistency, starting when he was very young. I am betting that is your stepson's problem too. You guys and the mom need to be on the EXACT same routine at both your houses. You need to try to get all parts of it the same, from the bath to the favorite book and dinnertime, all of it.
The thing that helped me a lot was reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I was able to really understand babies' sleep patterns and fix what I had always done wrong. My husband travels a lot, and so a lot of times, I was over at my mom's house til late, then home the next night, then he would be home sometimes. You can't do that to a baby. And yes, earlier is better, they will actually sleep longer. If they are overtired, they can't sleep, same as adults. It just doesn't take as much for a baby to be overtired. 6:30 might be a little too early, but you guys need to decide on a time together and both stick to it. I have read a lot of stuff, and that book helped me the most, and I think with your situation it would be the one that helps you guys understand the baby's sleep issues. Good luck!
Hi E. - first, it is not unusual for a 1 year old to have some disruptive sleep, particularly since he is away from home - young kids generally never sleep as well when they are not in their own beds. Secondly, and very importantly, 6:30p - 7:00p is NOT way too early for a 1 year old to be going to bed. In fact, i's exactly the right time for a child that age to be going to bed. Putting him to bed later is disrupting his sleep and making him overtired. When kids are overtired, they actually have a harder time sleeping well and sleeping through the night. You are making the tried and true mistake that so many people make which is that you assume if you keep him up late, that he will sleep late. It is exactly the wrong thing to do and will actually cause the exact opposite thing to happen, which is what you are experiencing. You guys should really stick to the same bedtime routine for that little boy that his mother has. Consistency is the key to healthy sleep.
6:30 or 7 really isnt that early for a little one. does he sleep all night at his moms? if so put him to bed then, also it is going to be very hard for a child that age to adjust from moving from house to house you all may just want to do day visits with him until he is older
Hi Emma,
I would talk to his mother and find out if he's waking up during the night when he's on his regular schedule (going to bed between 6:30 and 7). Chances are that messing up his schedule is contributing to the sleep disruptions. My 6 1/2 year old didn't sleep through the night until he was 4. He's never been a good sleeper and will only sleep so many hours a night and it's never been as many as they say he should. He may also be teething. That will really mess with their sleep.
Good luck!
Hi E., as a parent of one bad sleeper (our first) and one good sleeper (our second), I have tried all the books and tricks of the trade. The only thing that works consistently is the sleep routine. The child's mother, you and your boyfriend need to get on the same page when it comes to the bed and sleep routine for the baby - that means everything - if the bedtime routine starts at 6 pm, with bath for 5 minutes, books, jammies, bottle, songs, etc. DO IT! If he has blackout curtains at home, DO IT. Do everything you can to make his sleeping environment that same as it is at his mother's. This kid is going through enough not sleeping in his own bed and without his mommy. The least you can do (no matter how inconvenient - and I know, it really can be) is follow his routine every single time so that his body takes the cues and he sleeps better. If you only commit to it half way, you won't get any results. The deciding factor is you and your boyfriend. Good Luck.
