Need Help Potty Training with #2 for My Son!!

Adele,

I had this problem with my youngest son. We went straight to underware. When he had an accident, I would be the one cleaning out his underware. When I asked for advice, I had an aunt to tell me that I did not need to be the one cleaning out his underware. She suggested that I explain to him that it was his mess and he would have to clean it up. He had to get the poop out of his underware by using the water in the toilet. I would get him clean and make him think that I was going to take care of the mess. Before he could leave the bathroom I told him that he had to clean out his poopy pants. It only took 2 or 3 times of him having to handle those poopy pants before he figured out that Mom was not giving in and the best way to not have to touch the poopy pants was for them to not get poopy to begin with. He cried, screamed, and pitched a fit the first time (which expect yours will do the same). Keep your cool, but stand firm. I know it sounds mean, but it is effective. Plus, my son learned that I was not going to clean up after any mess that he made (BONUS!!!)

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!
D. W

Hi Adele!

I had the same problem with my son. I finally gave him a very simple explanation of what happens to the stinky after it is flushed from the potty. In our case it goes down to the septic tank. Not sure if this is what worked but after our little chat, he started pooping in the potty everytime!

Worth a try. Let me know how it goes if you try this. I gave this advice to another Mom and she told me it worked for her son as well.

Best Wishes!
T.

how does the remarriage and older sister fit into the time scheme of all this? These are sea changes for a little one - and it would not be too surprising if it weren't at its core an issue of control. He cannot control your marriage, his having a new sister, but boy can he control when and where he poops. I would give it some time without pressure

I would say keep it up and tell his teachers, you would be surprised at the monkey see monkey do affect. he may see the other kids going and it might click. one other thing is he constipated alot? my daughter is and it has caused her to have a really hard time with going #2 on the potty, just a thought. keep up the good work momma!

It sounds as if this has turned into a control and attention-getting issue (and guess who's in control and getting the attention)?

I agree that your new marriage/family is stressful for your son, but I think you can tell him (firmly and with resolve, but not gruffly -- or have your husband do it) that we are DONE playing potty games. If you treat him as if he's more mature, he'll believe you and act accordingly. He knows what's expected, he knows how and when to go, and if he doesn't he will be disciplined (not punished, but will lose a privilege until he does what he knows to do).

He should ALWAYS have to clean up his mess -- removing and dumping the poop, rinsing the poop out of the pants, putting them in the laundry, cleaning himself (you may have to 'finish up' that process), and getting clean underwear (not just a time or two for 'punishment', but always as a part of being responsible and accountable).

Lose the Pull-Ups. If he's ABLE to go and has done it, it's to his detriment to let him regress.

I'm a strict but fun mom (to 4 adults) and 'Mom-Mom' to 3 'grands', and I'd notice the time of day he usually 'goes' (or notice the way he acts) and have him sit on the potty UNTIL he goes #2 every time possible. A little food reward each time would be in order since that's what works for him. (It'd be nice if a healthy snack would work, like a fruit. I wouldn't buy toys for each occasion, but maybe after he's consistently pottied for a week or two -- something to work toward and look forward to!)

It sounds as if you're trying a little TOO hard to be a 'good' parent, and good parenting isn't always about doing what makes the KID 'happy' for the moment, believe me! They need someone to be 'in charge'. Can you imagine being a 3 yr old and feeling that you are in charge of 'running' the home? EEEK! Scary!)

God bless and happy parenting (and step-parenting)

Adele,

I just recently went through the exact same thing with my three year old and was very frustrated and so was she. When she pooped in the potty this morning it occurred to me that I have never seen her poop. She calls me when she is done. I know she actually used the potty because of clean underwear, shape of the poop, and her excitement. I spent so much time helping, encouraging, and talking to her, but I think she just needed a little privacy. Also, my pediatrician recommended giving her a fun, hand held electronic toy that she can only play with on the potty and nowhere else.

I believe he will go when he is ready. I still wonder what "clicked" for my daughter but at least she is pooping in the potty.

Good luck and know you are not alone.

Stacey

My third child had this issue. Pull ups were out of the question. He just felt like he was still wearing a diaper so he didn't "need" to go to the bathroom. I finally had to bite the bullet and say underwear only. It was a lot of work, but it was the only way. He also lost playtime and TV time when he had accidents. Stickers, rewards, celebrations, none of that was working. It took a couple of months, but he finally gave in.