Need Help Getting My Almost 3 Year Old to Bed

Perfectly normal! That's what happened with my 3.5 yr old toddler. He was a fantastic sleeper who went to bed with absolutely no problems until 3 months ago and then, poof, he began dragging his feet. All of his friends are the same way so at least, I know he's normal:)

For some of his friends, a goal chart seems to work. They have printable ones at the chuck e cheese website where you can get free tokens if you meet the goal. For my kid, he is motivated by bob the builder dvds so we tell him that he can watch xx number of episodes the next day if he goes to bed at nis regular bedtime. But yes, it is hard. I find that I have my husband put him to bed (without my help) about 1/2 the nights just so I can get away or have my time to myself. He has more patience with things at night than I do. Probably because I'm a SAHM.

My daughter is just 3 and we have the same problems sometimes. I find it best to have a strict routine and reward that. We mostly have trouble now if we are out of routine as a family. So, at 8:00 jammies are on and we take a bath if needed. Then we have milk and cookies (cookies only if she was a good eater) and read stories. She can play quietly or read more stories until 9. Then it's time to brush teeth, potty, and go to bed. Sometimes she needs another story in bed. Then we remind her that if she goes to bed nicely without getting up, she'll get a sticker on her chart. You could have a short chart (maybe 5 days worth) for her to color in or add stickers. Then she gets a reward. Either a small gift or candy or something. You could even write out the schedule (we start late because she sleeps in until 7:30 usually) with pictures so she knows what's coming next. Give her reminders... in 10 more minutes it's time to brush teeth. Then there's less resistance. Again, we have most problems when WE aren't following the schedule (i.e. Mom's gone and Dad isn't as strict with the schedule). Good luck! Keep us posted. - K.

You need to restablish your authority over her in this area. Begin by going throught her bedtime routine (bath, story, prayers, whatever you normally do) then put her to bed, remind her to stay there, turn off the light and shut the door (I leave it just a bit ajar), then take a seat and wait. It won't be long before she comes wandering out. At that time, calmly but firmly take her hand, put her back in bed (don't turn on the light, give a drink, or any other distraction), admonish her to stay put and shut the door. She may cry or fuss - ignore it and walk out. Then take a seat and wait for the next test. If you get kicking and screaming, apply a solid swat to the bottom - totally unemotional on your part - and repeat. Be prepared for this to take a very long time. Some kids may take hours, but what you are doing is reasserting your authority to direct her behavior - a vital component of raising children. This is a small, but important part of her life and she needs to learn to do as she is told, even if she disagrees. Being firm, loving and consistent now will save you heartache when she's sixteen and able to sneak out of the house. If you do it right she will learn to respect your opinion and authority and honor your requests which ultimately keep her safe.

SAHM of seven, 23 yrs - 21 mos. (Our first daughter is named Heather!)

We are having the exact same problem with our three year old twins. We are working on re-establishing our bed time routine and sticking to it no matter what. Often i would find myself skipping story time etc if it was late and i wanted them in bed sooner. This just doesn't work, they really need a consistent routine. I am also working on establishing a positive rewards system where my kids will receive pennies or nickels to put in their piggy banks for good behavior. I did this once with my older child when she got in the habit of sneaking into our bed at night and she really reponded to getting rewarded in the morning for staying in her own bed all night. The other thing i will probably try is from another post which is sitting outside the door and continuing to put them back in bed, sometimes for hours until they finally fall asleep. From what i understand if you do this consistantly for a few days they will eventually get the message and their behavior will change. It's just a matter of sticking with it and remaining consistant.

Good luck to both of us as I will be battling this same issue in the days and weeks to come. Hang in there!

My husband and I spent way too much time, effort and sleepless nights on this subject. At about 2 1/2 our daughter did not want to stay in her bed. We played the strict parents for a long time and frankly it got tiresome and really frustraing. So, if she wants to sleep with us, occasionally we let her. A friend told us, "she's not going to be that little for ever so you might as well enjoy it". One of the best bits of advice we've ever heard. I love having her sleep next to me and sometimes when she's not with us, I miss her being there. But we go in phases where we want our bed to ourselves, and then we'll do something to make her room exciting so she'll want to be in there. A new blanket, pillow or what ever. Recently she got bunk beds for her room and we've barely seen her since.
Good luck with what ever works for your family.
C.

I think it is just that age. My almost 3year old also does the same thing. She wants to stay up with her older brother. He is almost 6 and is only a 6 to 8 hour sleeper and I can not put him to bed before 10pm because otherwise he will be up by 5am the next morning. She has always been my 12 hour sleeper until this summer. Now she does not ever want to go to bed and then I am fighting with her in the morning. Like everything else, I believe it is just a phase and it will pass!! Good luck to you and I!!!!

have you ever heard of the program "love & logic" Look it up. IT is one of the best programs/advice I've heard for children (& husbands too!) Basically with our 2 year old he gets to be in charge, so according to this logic, they say let your toddler who wants to get their way and be in control get what they want with your boundaries. For example, I say time for bed lets brush your teeth. You choose, are you going to brush in mommys bathroom or yours. You choose, the shrek toothbrush or sponge bob. Then we advance to storytime. He chooses the book and the location in the room where it is going to be. Then on to bed. We say our prayers and thank yous to which he gets to choose who gets prayer for. (usually its the dog and curious george, go figure) but still HE is choosing. Then we say do you want the night light or the door cracked with the hallway light. Do you want me to cover you or put the blankets by your toes. Do you want me to give million kisses or million hugs. Usually our routine takes abount 1/2 hour to 1 hour and he knows that at the end thats it. I think it took us a week to get that down pat, but you stick to your guns. Don't back down not even once. You give the choices then the child chooses. When the child trys to give a differnet choice you MUST say thats not one of your choices, I said "ex.A" or "ex.B" no other choices but what you gave. It is definity trying in the begining, and it is just easier to get upside, but after awhile it just becomes easier and you'll find yourself using it for other routines. Like snacks, shoes & outfit, movies, etc.

I hope this helps... please keep an open mind. I promise you it will work!