My son is 13 weeks old. The first 9 weeks, my husband was able to give him a bottle of breastmilk once a day in order to give me a little extra time to rest. Then, mysteriously, my son decides he doesn't like the bottle anymore. For the past 3-4 weeks we've been trying everything to get him to take a bottle again. If he's really hungry, he'll take an ounce from a bottle before going nuclear until he finally gets the breast.
We've tried all sorts of bottles, different nipple flows, sitting up/lying down...we just can't figure out why he won't take a bottle anymore. I'll be going back to work in another 6 weeks and my son will be attending daycare. I need to get him drinking from a bottle before then otherwise I'll be worried sick about him not eating while I'm away at work. Not to mention, my husband feels inadaquate as a daddy - he really wants to help feed him and soothe him.
I am hoping some of you have some suggestions for me!!!
Thanks everyone for all your suggestions and advice! It was very helpful and I am happy to say that my son now is taking a bottle. Of course, he still prefers the breast to a bottle, but he is much more open to the bottle if offered to him by his daddy or someone else other than me. Here's what I ended up having to do....
I started off by leaving the house, as many had suggested. It didn't really work as well as we had hoped, but it did start the process. After about a week of frustrating attempts, I finally decided to start hiding the bottle nipples between my boobs...I'd sleep with them, wear them all day long while taking care of my son - basically wore them 24/7. Then, whenever we wanted to try to give him a bottle, my husband would come to me for a nipple and we'd use that one for feeding. It must have had enough of my "boob-scent" on it for my son to trick him into taking the bottle. I had to do that trick for 4 days, and now he's taking bottles no problem - I no longer have to "wear" the nipples. He's even taking the bottles he didn't like, so we're using a whole supply of different bottles and nipples I bought to try during this difficult challenge. Thankfully money not wasted like I originally thought.
So any other mom's facing the same struggle, I'd suggest wearing the bottle nipples too. Perhaps that will help you like it did me?
One of my sons never accepted bottle, so for a while we spoonfed him the expressed breastmilk. Then when he was 4 months old or so, we switched him to sippy cup.
Here are some links:
http://www.google.com/search?q=baby+rejecting+bottle&...
My son liked the "MAM" brand bottle/nipple. You can get it on Amazon.com
Maybe this will help.... ?
Good luck,
Susan
It isn't mysterious. This is extremely common for breastfed babies. They know how it is supposed to be once they mature a bit. You shouldn't get frustrated over your son not wanting to do something he wasn't designed to do. Babies were not designed to drink from bottles. They were designed to be a unit with mom. Your husband feels inadequate because he is. He cannot breastfeed, That is what babies want. It bothers all reasonably plugged-in dads, so that is a good thing. His day will come. Regarding daycare - your son will not starve. He will adjust to the bottle because he will have no other choice. You will be worried sick. Why would you not be, leaving your infant son in the care of others? You will both adjust, although it may not be easy, healthy, or what is best for anyone. We make our choices and we live with them.
You may find that he's more likely to take a bottle when you're not there. If I was in the house, my daughter seemed to know that there was a preferred option lurking around, but if I went out, she was much more likely (no guarantees) to take a bottle.
My daughter never got into the bottle - i tried all the bottles and advices. So she went straight to sippy cup (which i had to try several, too, but the one that worked best was a Gerber w/ a soft spout and slow flow, as far as i remember, the only one in the market for this young age. I used water and pumped milk then moved on to formula (had to try different ones, too, she preferred soy based formula - and it did not affect her stomach) I also gradually started her on solids from 5 months, because i knew i was going to get back to work. That did not stopped me from breastfeeding her, and as far as my husband's bonding, he had to figure out other ways, and guess what, it took her a couple of years to be as crazy about him as she is about me (wink), but they are best friends and she adores him...
I worried as much... but they do make the transition and do not starve as we think they will... good luck!
My baby did the exact same thing. It was really hard. One bottle that we found to really work was the adiri bottle, www.adiri.com. It is much slower flow and the nipple is shorter so my daughter gagged less then with the other bottles. Somebody else mentioned this, I spent two days in a row giving the bottle all day long except for breast feeding first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Now I give her two bottles a day to keep her on it and its been working okay. I have to say, it still took a while for my husband to be able to give her the bottle. Once she got good at it, we had my husband give a bottle right when she woke up in the morning because of course she is very hungry and motivated to eat. It worked and she now takes a bottle from him too. Good luck, its definitely hard, but babies are resilant and know how to get what they want.
Our first son took a bottle of breastmilk once in a while, but we had to introduce it at 4 weeks. Our other two never took a bottle.
I had to leave the room, or even the house, so he didn't smell me and my husband had to feed him with the bottle in the same position that I usually fed him. He screamed and was angry, but finally latched on in the end, my husband felt more empowered.
Make sure the bottle has breastmilk and then try leaving while he feeds him. When you return, hold him and give him kudos. That's all I can say.
I've heard many moms not be able to get their baby a bottle once they are set on the breast.
If you introduce too early, then they can have issues switching back and forth which were used to be called "nipple confusion," but was changed to "nipple preference."
PS We had to try a bunch of different nipples before one of them worked.
Dr Sears has some great tips on how Fathers can bond with baby without feeding them... I know they are in the Attachment Parenting Book, possibly in the Baby Book, and possibly on his web site as well.
As far as daycare goes, have Dad and other family and friends try to feed your son once or twice a day, when you are out of sight. Might be a good opportunity for you to run some errands on your own, or get some exercise, or whatever.
My husband had a hard time with the fact that my breastfeeding our daughter left him little opportunity to connect with her early on - she never took to the bottle. She is 2 years old now and Daddy's Girl - they are inseparable! Everything your husband does now will pay off later, even if he can't feed your son. It's wonderful that he is so attentive and concerned!
You BOTH sound like great parents, and breastfeeding your child is the best gift you can give him. Good job!
You need to be out of the house in order for your son to take a bottle, otherwise, he knows you're an option and he'll cry... wait... for you. Go get a pedicure or something and your hubby will do fine.
Congrats on your baby boy and good job for breastfeeding! My son is also refusing the bottle. One thing I read about and think is a problem with me is too much lipase in my milk which makes it taste funky soon after expressing. I read about it from another mom and did some research online (just google lipase in breast milk). The enzyme lipase breaks down the milk fat too quickly and makes it tast soapy or sour. It is not harmful at all. To change this it is recommended to heat the milk to a scald (180 F) so it is just bubbling around the edges. This inactivates the lipase. The mom writing about this had instant success giving a bottle after having treated her milk. I ,as yucky as it sounds, tasted my milk and compared fresh expressed with just one day old and found that the one day old was awful. I then heat treated some new milk and it was much better. Unfortunately this has not made much difference to my son although now when we offer a bottle he doesn't scream anymore, he just pushes it away. I am afraid I made my discovery too late, past 4 mo, and he is too set against it. I also have not been good about being consistant offering a bottle which I have read is very important. Anyway, it may not be the case, but tast your milk and see if it is and you can correct it. I know first hand how frustrating it is. Also know that he won't let himself starve, he may end up nursing at night to make up for day, but he won't starve. Good luck to you!
Hey R.,
Congratulations on your new baby! Enjoy every minute of this because it goes SOOOO fast! The same thing happened to us with our daughter. She flat out would not take a bottle. Here is what we did:
I would nurse her at normal feedings, but only about 1/2 way. We would have a bottle of nice warm breastmilk waiting...and then I would leave the room. My husband would then feed her the bottle.
It didn't work at first, but we found her to be a lot more receptive when she wasn't starving!! And after about a week of this, it kicked in. Just make sure dad stays nice and calm. Also, babies can smell their moms from FAR away...so if it means leaving the house, say, run to the grocery store for something, try it. He will learn that food can come from other places than just mom, and that it's ok.
BTW - my husband felt the same way. So I tried extra ways to be supportive of him, because he was so supportive of my choice to breastfeed. He would bathe our daughter EVERY night...talk about bonding. And yes, at 7 months, what were her first words....just after a bath, all wrapped up in a warm towel on the way to her bedroom for her nightly massage from daddy and jammies - "ooooohhhh dada!!!" Enough said!
Best of luck to you and your family!
My son, now 3 yrs old, never would take a bottle. We did have some success with a sippy cup with the valve removed, or with a disposable that doesn't have a valve. The best one I found was the Munchkin brand disposable (I know you can get them at Target) and they usually have Diego or Dora on them. At first we had to puncture an extra little hole on the backside of the lid so the flow would be fast enough that he didn't get frustrated. He wouldn't drink from the cup for me, but from my husband or Grandma, he was more than happy with that change. They would hold him as if giving him a bottle until he was old enough to figure out how to do it himself.
I hope this helps and you find something that works for you! The only bright side of having a kid that refuses the bottle, is that is one less fight down the road when it is time to take the bottle away!
My daughter went through the same thing. We figured out with her that she just got too wise and preferred me instead of the bottle! A friend's mom had us try this: as she was about to wake up from a nap, I made myself scarce! She woke up and couldn't hear, see or smell me anywhere. She took the bottle no problem! If she had any inclining that I was anywhere around, she refused the bottle from her dad because she wanted to nurse instead. Try this a couple of times, and if it works, you just have a case of "my baby is wising up!" Doesn't seem possible at such an early age, but my daughter is now 6 1/2 and continues to amaze me with things to this day! Good luck!
My friend had this problem and what worked for her were the plastic nipple guards. She started to wear them while nursing and her baby started accepting the bottle. Something about getting used to the plastic texture, maybe?? I don't know, but it worked for her.
Good luck!
It's not uncommon for breastfed babies to reject the bottle around 3 months, as this is the age when they are having rapid cognitve development and become more aware of the world around them. It was when my daugther first did. I didn't go back to work until she was 6 months old and had the luxury of working from home, so I had a nanny with us for a month who was able to get her to take a bottle of expressed milk on the first try. It was a little rocky at first, with some days less interest then others in taking the bottle, but she takes it without a problem at 13 months now (I am continuing breastfeeding through at least until age 2). I have heard that trying to feed them in the car seat or while being held sitting up facing outwards and moving aroudn sometimes helps. I have also heard of babies who won't take a bottle while in daycare but will wait until Mama is home and then make up the breastmilk then. The Pump Station has a handout on offering a bottle to a breastfed baby at http://www.pumpstation.com/pumpstation/dept.asp?s_id=0&am.... I completely sympathize with you, as I remember how distressed I was, and hope your little one takes a bottle soon!
When our baby girl didn't take to the bottle after bf, we tried everything, too! What finally worked was putting the breast milk into a sippy cup and going a whole different route. (Instead of trying to find bottles with nipples that were similar etc.) I removed the little "plug" thingie inside that makes the sippy cup spill proof. So it poured out kind of fast and you have to hold it for her and gently tip it. It helped her realize that the milk comes out of here and this is where I get food. Then after a while, I put the plug/stopper back in. It was great bc we skipped the whole bottle thing altogether and never had to go thru weaning her off of the bottle.
its probably just that he is picking up on your anxiety on this, try to relax a little, he will just have to adjust if you have to go to work, but at least try give him this time, these few weeks, without anxiety.
We went through the same thing. The only thing that worked for us was devoting a whole day to it where you try at every feeding to give her the bottle with your breastmilk in it. It was really tough...and our DD was not a happy camper that day, but eventually, she took she bottle and we never looked back. We also had to try the preemie flow nipples (she eventually graduated to the faster flow) AND we had to walk while feeding her. We tried it all...just keep trying until you find what works for you.
I went through the same exact thing, I totally understand your struggle. I ended up breastfeeding till he got teeth at 4 months..and I had to have the strongest determination. He cried like crazy it was a struggle for one day... Then at the end of the day around 4:30.. he finally gave in. We ended up using the Breastflow bottle from learning curve. Although I have heard people say that eventually they are hungry so they will eat. My son was fairly chubby for his age, so I didn't feel bad toughing it out for one day.
what I learned from that whole experience is that it is up to the mothers determination. If you are strong, your baby will try to push you and eventually he must give in. The other thing I kept repeating to myself was..I was not starving my baby or hurting him in anyway, I was feeding him breast milk from a bottle. It felt like I was torturing him, but i just kept encouraging him and when he was hungry enough he eventually did take the bottle. Then he never looked back by the way.. he has been able to take a bottle everyday after.
Every now and then he still tests me with his crazy crying fits. I just have to keep in mind that I am doing what is best for him. Good luck and please be strong.
R.,
I went through a similar thing, my son was exclusively breastfed for 7 months and I went back to work. I remember he took the bottle when he didn't have another choice. They don't starve themselves.
You might want to start pumping a lot more and trying to put him on the schedule he'll be on at daycare (bottle feeding exclusively from 8-5 and nursing early morning and evenings only. Alhough from you he may not take the bottle, when he knows he could have the "good stuff" if he fusses enough.)
Call a lactation consultant, there is one I really like in Encino, CA called A Mother's Haven, they have a website, if you're not in the so Cal/LA area, they might be able to refer you. Also La Leche League can give you some good advice. Good luck at work!
