Need Help Explaing Birds and Bees to a 12 Yr Old

Updated on May 30, 2007
A.H. asks from Dickinson, TX
5 answers

I am a single mom of a 12yr old who will be 13 in July whos dad is not around I know that his body is changing but I don't know how or where to begin explaining things to him about puberty and sex. Please help me in knowing where to start and when I should sit him down and tell him. Thanks, A.

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B.W.

answers from College Station on

My daughter is 10 and starting to experience lots of changes in her body and me being an "early bloomer" I sat her down and let her know that these things are normal. I think books really help. Go get a book on puberty from the library and read it with him and what ever questions the books do not answer let him know you are always willing to discuss this openly now and in the future as well. I think I was more scared than she was when these changes started so it was a learning experience for both of us. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Houston on

As far as when to sit him down. . . NOW! My mother took me to my grandmother and dropped me off for "the talk" when I was 12. I had already learned about all of it at school so I was pretty agitated about my parents and grandparents "trying" to teach me anything new. There never was an open line of communication about anything dealing with birds and bees after that. Any questions I had, I went to friends.
There are sites online, there are books at the library, but I would start with why he needs to bathe every day and use deodorant. . . why there is hair in places there wasn't before, why he is getting pimples, then start into the more private discussions about what his body will do and what it is used for, and the consequenses of engaging in intimate activities. Be VERY honest. Check out internet sites. There are LOTS of good ones.

Good luck!

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A.T.

answers from Houston on

Hi A. -

The best way to approach this sensitive subject- I think is to ask questions. If he attends public school he should have seen a video or maybe two about his changing body. You could ask him about the videos and ask if he had any questions about it. And if he does just answer him honestly. I would let him know you are always open to any questions and that there is nothing to be embarrassed about....I think thats a pretty good start. Open communication about everything is the best way to start....

Hope that helps.
A. :)

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S.O.

answers from Houston on

NOW especially if you want him to have your edge on the subject. In 5th grade the school will teach your children change about their bodies and give them idoms for hygiene. When they are in 7th grade the school will show them a film about the birds and the bees. The students are only taught the physics and how to be safe. They're not taught when and why so if you have some strong feelings about waiting till marriage and why you need to talk now because kids go to their friends if they don't think they can talk to you. I know I couldn't because my mom would like to think of herself as laid back and someone we can go to but she freaks out and I thought if I ask her anything she's going to think I'm up to something. I always went to my oldest sister.

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G.N.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.

I have a 13 year old girl and bought her "The Body Book" a few years ago by American Girl. I'm sure there are many resources for you that are for boys. Focus on the Family is a great place to start. They have books and other resources too. They have a website and you can call their 800 number for any help too.

G. Neef

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