Need Help desperately..please..

Lynn M said it PERFECTLY!
I'm sorry this happened to her and the rest of the family!
BE STRONG FOR ALL OF THEM xoxoxo

Has there been a police report filed yet? That should be done immediately. I wish her luck. I would bet that your niece's pediatrician would be a great source for resources for counseling. Good luck.

Have mom take the child to her ped. or family doctor. The doctor should be able to help mom figure out where to go from there as far as physical injury is concerned and should be able to refer mom to a counselor/psychologist as needed. By seeking legal help I assume you mean she has contacted the police and filed a report. If not, that should be done immediately.

She needs to get her into counseling and be vigilante to protect her going forward (as does Dad). Everyone should treat her normal (she's still the same wonderful little girl she always was)...she still needs rules and boundaries and discipline and lots of nurturing LOVE.

I know this sounds very strange, but try not to make a big deal in front of her. Keep things "normal" and "routine" to the extent possible. You and your SIL are understandably freaking out (as you should), but this little girl has a long road ahead of her to work through this and she needs to have a sense of normalcy and predictability.

If she brings it up, encourage her to talk about her feelings and try your very best not to react to an extreme. Things like "that must have been very scary" or "you must have felt angry/sad/frightened"- paraphrase what she is saying, but don't push or elaborate.

In the meantime, schedule an appointment with a psychologist who is well-versed in working with children who have experienced this type of trauma.

It sounds very counter-intuitive, but lesson #1 in working with children who have been victimized... don't reinforce the "victim" mindset... they will be as "traumatized" as you make them feel. As she works through counseling, the therapist will focus on rebuilding her ability to trust and find strength in herself. You guys need to be the "constants" and the predictable anchors.

I was molested when I was ten.... and when I told no one believed me and I was punished... that said, you are on the right track here in that you believe your niece......... what's important I think is to surround her with family and support. Additionally, a counselor might be a good idea... thing about molestation.. her being so young, the effects may not rear their ugly head right away or perhaps never at all.. e.g. I was 10 and beg to develop and because I Was molested, I began to feel awkward and covered up. I wore a big heavy jacket ALL the time. even in Summer with 90 degree weather...
Look for changes in her behavior, but first and foremost, assure her you love her and yes, do counseling. they have people out there who can help if at all steer this down a positive road... I wasn't allowed my voice of truth or therapy... it wasn't until later on that I began to talk about what happened. I do believe had I been allowed to speak up and be heard and believed, I would have handled things better. This experience doesn't have to end in a negative way.. your niece can survive it... again, open lines of communication..
I would also advise that close family to the child get therapy as well... believe me, everyone should be on board..

best of luck and blessings..

I would try to make everything at home as routine as possible, giving her the comfort of things being the same as much as they can be. Adults can get upset on their own time, but subjecting children to upset adults only makes things worse. So on your part, try to be as normal as you can. If she wants to talk about it or brings it up, then try to take her lead and answer any concerns she may have. Certainly make sure she is seen by her doctor ASAP, and her doctor will have resources for any counseling or anything that is needed. Her mom would probably benefit from some counseling as well, to both deal with her feelings of guilt and to know how to best deal with issues that may come up for her daughter. While this can certainly be traumatizing and distressing, do not think this will ruin her life or cause her to be anything. Especially if this was a one-time event, in which she was not injured, if her mother gets her the appropriate help, this can just be a minor incident in her life. I do not mean to make it sound inconsequential and I certainly believe the molester should be prosecuted, but the impact on this little girl can be minimized. If everyone freaks out and makes it a big deal around her, then the impact will be greater.

I was molested when I was 7 by my sister's, (she's 9 yrs older), boyrfriend's brother. No one knew, until I finally told my mom. She didn't do anything - she's from that era--just keep your mouth shut-so I don't blame her, but it still makes me mad. I know it affected me in how I dealt with intimate moments in my life.

My advice-along with everything else you are doing is seek out therapy, and just tell your SIL to love her and hug her and just keep reiterating that she did nothing wrong, the door is open to talk, etc, etc....and tell her she's brave and that what he did was bad and that he is WRONG she's not...

Gonna jump in here and second the pediatrician's office - they have family friendly support ideas and it's a place of safety for the little girl. This is going to be a very hard and confusing time for her, but she may not even remember it. It's a blocking technique kids do to protect themselves, then the blocks explodes at some point down the line. Really important to get someone official involved. The worst thing a parent can do is to become to guilt ridden they just try to cover it up.

If it was my 5 year daughter, I would first and formost let her know that she is completely blameless that no body will ever blame her! Second i would let her know that bad things do happen to good people and that it is horrible when it does but for her to know that I love her, no matter what and that I'm there for her if she needs to talk or if she has any questions and to let her know that it is ok to cry, it is ok to be angry and it is ok to talk about it because there is no shame in someone hurting you and you not being able to stop it! Third I would listen to her if she did talk and I would anser any questions as honestly as I could. fourth, i would set up appointments for therapy and medical as soon as possible for her and parents. Fifth, i would prosecute or do what I could to insure that the person responsible could never be put in a position to do it again to my daughter or anyone elses ever that would include looking into how this person had access to her and why! Friend of Dad's, or son of Dad's girlfriend kind of thing? If she was in Dad's custody, then he is responsible for letting this happen on his watch. He is supposed to protect to the best of his ability. Sixth, I would continue regular schedules as there is comfort in them especially when dealing with trauma, after all, as hard as it is...the world does keep turning and time stops for no man. poor poor thing I hope she recovers quickly and that there are no lasting scars.

We actually just found out my niece was molested by her father and it went unknown for along time and she was a very trouble child the doctors just thought she had adhd really bad and she felt no pain for anything or emotions towarda anything and then they got her to talk to a social worker nad tell her evrything that happend and now shes getting counseloring for it but i guess shes been having nightmares to and afraid that hes gonna come after her sorry i went on so much but make sure if u know who did it to let the cops know so they can find them and make sure shes gets some counseloring

You dont say the age of the child...but speaking from personal experience I think this girl needs to see a Dr. then get some therapy, lots of love from both parents, then drop it! Do not let it consume this child's life for longer than necessary...this girl needs things to go back to normal as soon as possible.

I knw us Mom's need to talk, talk, talk but there is only so much talking that needs to be done before it feels all consuming and when/if that happens it is not a good feeling! This is something that happened to this girl...do not let it define her as a person.

Best wishes and big hugs!

~Please make sure all parties involved knows that guilt will do no one any good!