Need Bf Advice!

This is kind of like that post yesterday that talked about kids not being wanted in certain venues. He wants to enjoy the party and not worry about a child on this particular day it seems. He'd probably love for you to be there with him but knows he doesnt get the full you when you have your daughter. Is it a little immature of him to feel that way? Yep. You obviously arent living together nor are you married, so letting him have his freedom that day as he's asked is about all you can do. You are still in the dating phase and learning about each other. This tells you how he's feeling. He may or may not be as committed as you think or want him to be. When a man takes on a partner that has her own children it takes quite a bit of maturity on his part to handle it. I'd find something else for you and your daughter to do that day, don't pout, and let him have his fun. If the rest of the family are bringing their kids he might find himself wishing he would have made a different decision.
It sounds like your relationship is still pretty new and you've J. begun integrating your child into the relationship.... you definitely have to give this time to bloom. He's not choosing the party over you, he's choosing to celebrate his siblings birthday with his family. You are not quite in the "family" category yet. Be a stand up gal and show your independence from him. Act like it's no big deal. That, my dear, will make him wonder how YOU feel. Wearing your heart on your sleeve too soon is not a good thing. Leaving a little mystery as to how you feel about him is what will keep him interested.

Every once in a while, everyone needs some adult time without any kids around. So if he needs a little kick back, drink with the boys time, J. give it to him. Especially if it's not a regular occurance.

I think that if your ex can take her - you should look at the bright side. You and your BF will get to hang out and have an adult night. So enjoy it.

I think you J. need to CALMLY ask him. 'hey hun, something you said has been bothering M.. you know how it turns out that I'll have baby girl on the day of the party which is okay, but why is baby girl not invited to your brother/sister's party? I mean when you found out she would be her you uninvited M. ...??'

I'm sorry, but I dont think its your daughter that isnt invited. I think he told you the wrong day on purpose. I think this was his plan all along. To have a chance to party alone with his brothers. It's either that, or one of the brothers wives, maybe the hostess, said something to him about not bringing you. Do you get along with the other wives and girlfriends? I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to be a jerk or hurt your feelings or start trouble where this isn't any. But from what you've told us, this is a probable scenario.

Did you J. ask him if it was ok to bring her? I think you're trying to read his mind, and expecting him to read yours.
Has his whole family met you and your daughter yet? If not, that might be J. too much for him, too soon.

UPDATED: Jen... he's dating you, not your daughter. I know that people will jump on that statement b/c you are a mother and you are a "package deal", but he wants YOU (his girlfriend) to be at the party with him, not his girlfriend's kid. You J. started dating, so you are not part of that family and this isn't a backyard "playdate" BBQ. Spend time as a couple, not J. as a "family" b/c he's not part of yours and you are not part of his. If you try to force that aspect, he will break-up with you.
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Will there be other young children there? If not, then it's not really appropriate for you to bring your child. Hanging with the family at the Shore isn't the same thing as a grown-up birthday party. Are the nieces and nephews older? Is it being held at their home?

He didn't handle this in a mature way, but in all reality you shouldn't ask him to choose between you and his family at this point. You don't say how long you have been together, but this may be one of those times that you realize that he screwed up and kind of move on.

His original intention was to bring you (without your child). He mixed up the date and now you don't have childcare. It happens. I would plan on doing something special with your daughter that night and let this one go.

I would feel left out. :( I dont understand why you and your daughter cant go for a little bit if other kids are going to be there.
I would J. say whatever! {{{eye roll}}}