I have 5 year old twin boys and I can't get a handle on them. They don't mind me, they do mind thier dad but not me. I need some serious advice I am so out of my eliment here it is unreal. I thought i was a good mother until I had my twins and now i am feeling like a failure. I don't know what to do here. Please help.
The book, PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC helped me parent my three young children who are now very easy to deal with. You can get it at the library!
Check out "Love and Logic". Just google it--you'll find plenty of material. They hold classes locally as well--not sure where. You'll get through--my twin boys are 21 and still breathing!
J.,
I'm sorry I don't have any sound advice to give you. I was looking at the newpaper Utah Family.com and they are having a convention at Murray High School 5440 S. State Street on Feb. 24, for 8am to 5:30pm. It sounds really informtive. You can call 1-888-283-6823, 24 hour recording you can leave questions on voice mail. The web sight is www.successfulmothering.org and the registration is $45.00 or you can get $5.00 off if you bring a friend. It also mentions getting a discount if you register through the Mothers of Twins Club. and their web sight is www.slmot.com. I thought even if you become a part of the Mothers of Twins Club, that they could be of help to you and I wish you best of luck. Hang in there! I feel like I am a bad mom to at times and it can be hard. Just keep loving them and doing the best you can. I think we just have to keep trying and as long as we do that we aren't bad mothers. Best of luck!
Dear J.,
My aunt had twins and I lived with her to help so here is some advice. Make sure you always follow threw. If they brack a rule make sure you follow threw with the punishment you have chosen. Also there is a book 1 2 3 magic. It is a great book and works magic!!! I still use it with my 8 year old and never make it to 3. When I did the one and only time I just followed threw with the punishment and it has never happened again. Also make sure that the rules are the same for both boys and that they are treated equally and seperately. Time out works wonders!!!! 1 min for each year of birth so 5 minutes otherwise they forget why they are being punished. Make charts for them. Chore charts etc and when they get there stuff done invent some kind of chart where say it a baseball bat with there name on it. they get 3 balls. If they have all there balls on the bat (and they earn them with there daily chores) they have all priveledges. When they act out or don't do something then take a ball away.....3 strikes and ur out!!!!
Oh J. how I can relate. I too have twins plus one and I don't really think any of my kids listen to me all that well. All three of mine are wonderful children and quite well behaved . . . for everybody else. Mostly, I just try not to yell as it only makes me upset and doesn't get the desired response from them. You probably have it worse because you've got two boys where my twins are boy/girl and seven but I just want you to know that this too shall pass. You need to start loving yourself and feeling good about yourself so that the kids will learn how to treat you. Pick yourself up, take a bath, put on your favorite outfit, do your hair and make-up and then, only when you feel good about the way you look, give the boys a little of your time. They are a team and you are only one and that is the most difficult thing. Sure they are only five but two five-year-olds can do in one adult. I wish I could give you an answer that would dissolve all the troubles but, trust me, there isn't one! Let me know how you are doing. We can definitely commiserate and also congratulate ourselves.
First of all, breathe! I am a mother of 9 year old twin girls. I know what you are going througth.Are your kids in school yet? Do the boys play you and dad off each other? Or is it what ever dad says goes? Talk to your husband, maybe you can get him to be the one to lay down the law for awhile. It gives you a break and him some parenting time. And when you at least try to be a good mom, others will notice and tell you that you are a good mom.
Mabey you have a good case for that famous nanny show. I like the books that have been suggested. I used Love and Logic with my boys. But it is something I have to practice everyday. You don't just get it!!! When you read the book. I find myself re-Evaluating what I am doing now. Because I feel unconnected to my oldest who is a teen. Good luck with that.
I don't have experience with 5 yr olds yet, but check out the book "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk." Also the recommendation on the "Love and Logic" book is a good one.
