Need Advise on Getting My 3Yo to Go #2 in the Potty

Hi K., Potty training seems to be very hard sometimes. I had three boys (1 set of twins) and one girl. The boys were harder to get trained then my girl. But this is what is did. When I brought underwears for my boys, I would always get the ones with super heroes. I would try to get more of the ones they liked the best. And regardless how bad it got with them not going to the pottty, from that point on I would never put them back in a diaper. I found that if you do that, they will still use the dipper because to them it's like telling them it's ok to potty in the diaper. I would always tell them what a BIG boy they were and and how proud of them I was for wearing BIG boy underwear.. I would also set them on the potty about 30 minutes after every meal and before any bed time. I also rewarded them with something that was special for them. However, if they used the potty in their pants I would let them know that was not good for BIG boys. Sometimes I would ever have to take a play time away. Make them set for 15 min or so. They did not like that believe me. It worked great. All my kids were potty training before two.

I read many years ago that some children who see the poop go down the toilet think they are loosing a part of themselves. Try not flushing while he is still in the room. Might work.
Also, a neighbors son stopped going to the bathroom because he got afraid of doing so. He was around five at the time. The problem...an ad on TV where they showed a monster coming out of the toilet. To grownups it was a toilet bowl cleaner ad, to him, it was very real.

Make a chart!

I have three toddlers and this has worked for my oldest when they 'regressed' in the area of #2. Make a big fun chart. Bright blue poster board and marker and ruler-and you've got all you need for a great chart.
A 3 yr old has great capacity for this! Get his favorite stickers (cars, bob the builder) and each time he makes '#2' in the potty get excited and bring him to put a sticker on his chart. After one sticker, draw a reward next to it, 'ice cream' or 'candy bar' then make him have to go two times, two stickers--and then draw another reward, 'beach day' or something, after a week, tell him he gets to go to the store and pick out any toy he wants (good place to take him is the dollar store!)

My kids enjoyed the stickers and seeing progress. They could visibly see a goal and they sure wanted to reach it.

It's positive reinforcment and teaches them to read a chart!

Hope this helps!

I soo remember those days. It was hard for 3 out of 5 of my kids so my first tip is to be patient. Next, if you want him to poop in the potty you have to stop giving him the diaper. Let him know that if he wants to poop, it has to be in the potty. Talk to him, sit down at his level and let him know that mommy cannot keep buying diapers for him because he's a big boy now. Let him know that you understand he doesn't like to poop in the potty but that's the way he has to, just like daddy or mommy (use daddy if applicable). Ask him why he doesn't like to poop in the potty and respond to his fears. My youngest girl didn't want to poop in the potty because she said it made her butt dirty. When I was changing her diaper, she couldn't see it for herself. The first time she tried to clean herself and some got on her finger she nearly fainted :0) Couple other things, respect his privacy, take him shopping to buy flushable wipes (pampers has the kandoo line that is fun with wipes, foaming hand soap and charts kidskandoo.com), reassure him that you will help him (cleanup) when he's finished. Lastly be patient.

Hi K.~ Sometimes (normally boys) children are in fear of wiping themselves after defaecation. They cant see what they are doing and with a new job (using the toilet) comes new independence and although they want this, at the same time , they have a little fear of leaving the baby stage. In this case, the diaper. Sometimes, just assuring them that you will wipe them until they are ready will help them get past this stage. Good Luck and God bless.

Is he not night time trained? Once you work on the night time training he might be able to break this habit.

With my son how we night time trained him was we would take him to the bathroom before he went to bed (around 8pm). Either my husband or I would wake him up around 10 or 11 pm to have him use the bathroom. Then we would take turns 2 or 3 more times during the night to wake him up and take him to the bathroom. This lasted maybe 1 week before he said "Please no wake me, I not gonna pee my bed" It was super cute and it worked.

Hi K.:
Have you tried a routine? My daughter who will be three in May, was having the same trouble then we started a routine; dinner, milk, potty, shower, teeth, story, bed. During the potty time, we sat with her in there on a stool and told her that we would stay with her but it wasn't play time...it was poop time. We told her all of that "yucky poop" wanted to get out of her tummy and that "big girls" don't poop in pampers. She liked being referred to as a "big girl" and although initially it took literally a month or so of doing this she finally started getting comfortable with the idea. (are you using the small potty or regular toilet?) Small potties are best for now. After a while we would get up and tell her we would be "right back" and now we are at the point where right after milk she knows it's time to poop and she will go in there and call us when she's all done. The one thing i learned was not to make it a big deal b/c i think that puts pressure on them...however, when she did poop it was like the greatest thing ever!!! I didn't give her stuff as a reward b/c i didn't want her to always expect it...but her dad and I would dance around the bathroom and clap and sing when she did it. Then we would put the poop in the "big potty" and give her the privilege of flushing! Again, i think the important thing is patience, routine, no pressure, and simply eliminating the pamper as an option...Hope this helps!
Terez

Oh, my. It sounds like my life. My almost 3 1/2 year old daughter for the past two weeks has not pooped in the potty. I am still trying to potty train her. She is so stubborn. I told her that we had to send the diapers/pull-ups to babies who really needed them. She looked at me with a blank look. I just gave up and let her wear the pull-ups. She feels much better and no longer holds her poop or hides behind a chair. Sometimes, you have to choose your battles.

I had the exact same issue with each of mine. For some reason they just don't want to do that on the potty! I just kept trying to get them to go on the potty and put them in underwear despite their objections. Of course I had to do more laundry. I also put pullups on them only when we were leaving the house.

What i did when potty training my daughter was to buy her a cool stepping stool for kids so she could use the real toilet. It made her want to do everything there. I know it may sound a little messy but don't give in when he asks for the diaper. He can only hold it for so long before he has to do it. He's not going to like how it feels when he poops in his underwear and after two or three times of him seeing that you're standing your ground and not giving him the diaper he'll see that he has no choice but to use the potty. Remember kids try to see how far they can push you and what they can get away with. He obviously knows how to use the potty he's just trying to get away with it.

My boys just loved the superhero pants and jammies. Since this is a bedtime ritual, maybe the thought of wearing the whole outfit to bed will do the trick.

My 3 year old boy, was never comfortable on the big potty, even on a toilet seat - until one day he saw a friend sitting on the big seat facing the tank. This way they can get on alone, no step-stool or extra wobbly seat ring is necessary. I would suggest that -my son felt so much safer because he could hold on easily and be in charge of getting on/off. Kandoo wipes are great -all the things everyone said: picking out their own soap, wipes, underwear, etc. Charts worked for us and we had one set back where he was scared to go and he got bribed to get things moving again (got to pick out any Thomas train he didn't have yet).

I didn't have to get to this point, but I agree that just running out of diapers and having no other option is probably your best bet. If there is no other choice, he will have to poop somewhere!

Good luck -it isn't fun, but once it's all done, it changes your life!

My advice is to stop giving in to the diaper. Your son can go potty on the toilet so you must insist that he continue doing what he has finally learned to do. Get the diapers out of the house and tell him the diapers went bye-bye. Tell him what a big boy he is and how very very proud you are for him to use the toilet. Put him on the toilet and insist he not get up until he goes potty. A child can only hold it for so long and eventually he'll go. Reward him with a sticker every time he goes, or give him a special treat that he will like. Now, if he's not keeping dry during the night, meaning he is wetting his pants during his sleep, he may not be totally night time trained. It took quite some time for my daughter to be totally night time potty trained. Night time training can take a bit longer but if he's holding his bowel movements until you put a diaper on him only at bedtime, then I see the challenge you are facing. I'd put him on the toilet and make him sit there until he finally goes. I had to do this many times with both of my daughters. Good luck...I'm in the process of potty training baby #3 myself.

Hi K.- I was just in your boat & FINALLY I have my son who turned 3 in February fully potty trained. I started when he turned 2.5yrs old & used pull-ups & eventually the underwear only. Its good that you continue to praise him & be sure to tell him how "big" he is getting.. I made poster board calendars for each month & he got to put stickers on the calendar when he peed or pooped- It was a big hit for several months! I prefer stickers over candy in potty training them.. Also I have a 21 month old that he sometimes is jealous of & I kind of use that to my advantage.. When I started the pullups he resisted heavily but then when I show that the "baby" was now using them of course he could not be shown up! And it has progressed to using the potty. Daddy shows him how to pee. Since he was able to talk enough to tell me what he wanted I would ask what is it that is stopping him to pee or poop- his thing was the lighting, too bright, too dark, door open or closed etc.. Its a pain to "make it right" for him but to get them started & motivated, hey I would do anything!! And it worked, his problem was the bathroom light had the fan connected to it & it scared him for the longest time but now he is ok with it. That sort of stuff we don't think about but it does "affect" them to want to go. The Elmo potty video he could care less about! I would just ask him when he first wake up, always ask an hour after drinking if they have to go.. Again, Dad sometimes have a better influence for boys to stand & pee (that's what my son does) & he knows to sit down to go poop. Hope this gives you some insight.. good luck!

Leave the little kid alone! You're going to cause him mental anguish and he'll be suffering of some spastic colon before long. Just put his diaper on and wait until he gives it up on his owwn. If he grows up to be fifty five years old still wearing his diaper, then worry.

I'm a 68 year old loving mother of six well adjusted kids who were potty trained at different ages,from two to four, with healthy pooping habits. Be patient.

Be patient! He will grow out of it. I'm a hypnotist and it happens sometimes when I work with clients and do a childhood regression they remember the pressure from parents about pooping and accidents and then we clean those trapped fears and anger... it can cause limiting beliefs and self-confidence issues. I'm sure he will be fine with your gentle support - never ever punish him or raise your voice, it's not going to do anything good. My 8 year old became accident free probably 2 years ago :-)

Be patience he is only 3 , he needs to get used to new things. Don't rush him.

Honestly, I would just run out of Diapers. Tell him you are all out, what is the worst that can happen. He might throw a tantrum or he might have an accident, but the truth is he feels comfortable with the diaper and it is what he is used to. Once he accepts that the potty is his only choice the issue will be over.
Still reward him for going on the potty and don't scold him if he has an accident. It might be a tough week for both of you but from my personal experience it is always better to deal with these things sooner rather than later. 9 months is a very long time to have indulged this habit of only pooping in a diaper. Potty training is never easy, I wish you lots of luck!