Need Advise: 7 Year Old Son Who at Times His Behavior Is Unacceptable.

I think you have to be very black and white with him. Tell him what is and is not acceptable and that from now on there will be consequences. Walking away is unacceptable. So is hiding under the table. Etc. Have a talk with his teacher too and if he pulls something at school he will also get consequences once he gets home. Tell him there will be no 2nd or 3rd chances from now on. There will be no reasoning or debating. Try to think about what he would REALLY hate taken away. For my son it is video games, riding his bike, or having a playdate. Maybe for your son it is no TV for the next 24 hrs, or no computer time. Whatever motivates him! Once he does the behavior then give him the consequence. It sucks to be the "meanie" all the time but our 7 year old really shaped up fast once we became very back and white about things. Both his dad and I were on the same page too. We had to come down hard and never slack off or let things slide. We were in a similar situation as you in that we had just had a baby. On the other hand we also started really praising him like crazy when he did something right. It seemed to work great for us. Good luck.

Sounds like regression.
But he is 7, and a school aged kid.
Then he is also hesitant to admit things/tell you things... and he 'lies' or doesn't say the truth.

A kid this age, knows what right and wrong is.
But so there are other emotion based reasons, for his behavior.
Talk to him and find out, WHY he is doing this.

Seems like maybe he wants attention?
Or, he just does not want to do what he must.
His Grandparents.... do they just let him do whatever? Maybe there he just does not have 'responsibilities' hence, life is 'easier' there.

He is a school aged kid.
And this is life.
Doing what you must.

Talk to him.
And have a 'relationship' with him.... maybe he just is and feels... he is out of the loop and not, 'important.'
He may need more one on one time, with you and Dad.
These are really formative years.
Handle it now, before... he becomes a Tween and Teen.

Both adults and children lie out of fear. They are afraid something will happen. You need to have a calm conversation with him and need to spend more time doing possitive things with him. Find out why he lied and was it really on purpose or just a quick answer. Explain to him how you feel when he ignores you and why he shouldn't do that. Make sure both you and hubby set a good example of how to act and communicate. Don't yell too much or hold onto your anger too long. If he does something wrong, give yourself 10 min. of yelling/explaining and don't bring it back up hours later. Never just say, "No" without any reason. Make sure the punishment fits the crime and is not overboard. Some parents will take a toy away perminately, which doesn't do any good since the child figures why bother to follow the rules when they will never see that toy again anyway. You're better off grounding....Take the toy away for a week, or until he earns the right to play with it again. This way the punishment becomes an incentive. Incentives work much better than punishments. Praise him when he does good. Keep him busy. A busy kid is too busy to get into trouble. It will take a lot on you and hubby, but it does work. Have him help out with chores, so he becomes more of a member of the family. He can decorate cookies, open up rrefrigerator dough, roll up cresent rolls, cut refrigerator dough with dental floss, (You take the dental floss underneath the dough, then cross it over the top until it cuts it.) dust, run a mini vaccum, help garden, read books to the new baby inside your tummy, etc.

A.,
he's still young. He's got a new baby in the family. It's not 'cut him some slack' or 'time out for you!' It is about hand over hand and walking him through things.

I have run into the most amazing results going hand over hand with children ever since I found out. Zero chance for misbehaving - you are right there! It doesn't mean forcing, it means 'hey, let's get this done, and we'll be ALL DONE!'

Yelling or repeatedly telling a child to do something they may not have the organizational skills to complete (despite having demonstrated at a previous time) is sad, and really is detrimental to the child wanting to help out or work towards learning and apprehending new skills later. It is really a case of the parent or guardian or sitter wanting to yell and feel better about venting anger/frustration than it is about getting the child to 'tow the line'.

Whining. He's going to. Set the example, tone, volume, language. He'll follow eventually.

Good luck,
M.

PS: Scott Noelle has a really differen ttake on thischeck out his website.