Hi mommies!! My son is going to be 6 in a few weeks. Obviously, he's "maturing".... The other day, while I wasn't home, his dad saw him touching Mr. Winkie (through his shorts). (He says it's cause Mr. Winkie is getting bigger) Then apparently he saw him sort of "humping" a pillow. Instead of having a talk with him regarding this, he sent him to his room. When I got home, I told my fiance he shouldn't punish him for something he doesnt understand and to talk to him about it. Well, I got no response. So I'm taking it upon myself to address the situation... And since I don't have the same parts, I'm asking everyone out there for suggestions on what to say....!!! Let me just add that when he started getting a little older, and he needed to make "adjustments", to do it where no one can see him. Thank you in advance!! I really appreciate this one!! : )
First, call the part what it is. The first "talk" should be what his parts are called. He should know all proper terminology. I agree with Rosebud, completely.
I'd tell him that Mr Winkie is growing up and that if he wants to do that then he needs to do it when he's in his bedroom or the bathroom. It's private.
I'd keep it very simple and use correct terms. No shaming.
You may also find sites like http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/boy/boys_puberty.html useful as he gets older.
Remember that "the talk" is a series of talks. Just little bits of info as appropriate to the child.
I have two sons and it just came out fairly naturally. I don't understand your last statement , sounds like in the past and who were you referring to? Do you want to figure out how to deal with your child in the future? Just let him know that he is doing something natural but that is private and he should therefore be somewhere private, i.e. bedroom, bathroom, etc.
my children couldn't describe how that felt at first and one said he had an owie. The reference to these changes in boys doesn't have to be extremely specific at first. Just explain it is very normal. Your fiance probably wasn't dealt with very nicely and my first husband claimed no one ever talked about anything. I didn't check on your info, but is fiancee the actual father? If not he might just be uncomfortable. Reassure him it is alright also to discuss these things. So many people grow up feeling guilty about body parts and how they work.
I don't remember saying this to my older son, but I guess when he was little he would play with it and I told him it would fall off. I never had a big issue with him playing with it in front of anyone, later I find out I told him that but I don't remember doing that. Now, my youngest does it, my husband doesn't feel there is anything wrong with it, if I see it, I just say quit playing with it in front of everyone. Then walk off...
Don't say what I said to my older son, I do regret it, but I have never had to say anything to him (he's 15). My nephews are always playing with theirs, it's a boy thing too, just say don't do it in public and don't make a big deal out of it...
Private parts are for private times.
There's nothing wrong with it - natural curiosity, but not to be explored in public.
Hit your library as well for books to help you out. :)
Whether you are a Christian or not, the Christian bookstores have a really great series of books for both boys and girls. They have them by age group. Just tell him the facts and use the correct terminology. Also, the books are a little pricey so if that is a factor, you can probably find good articles online to help with the specifics. Good luck!
