Need Advice Re: 4 1/2 yr.old Son Who Has Wetting "Accidents"

My son is almost 3 yrs old and we had the same problem with him. At first we thought is was because of so many changes but then soon realized it was something else. No matter what we did, take his toys away, make him change himself, etc. it didn't work. He kept saying he didn't like his pre-school and when he pooped his pant..which he never does, I paid attention. He know only has accidents every once in awhile. If he starts making a "habit" of it again, I take the toy away that he was playing with and remind him why I am doing that. This usually works. If he starts holding it too long, I gently remind him that I will take his toys away. This gets him back on the toilet. Oh, when I do have to take the toys away, I sit them outside his room, so he see's them and is reminded of why he cannot play with them. That has been the most effective method for me and one of my cousins who is a stay at home mom with 3 kids.

We had this exact problem with our daughter, who is now 5 1/2. It is so frustrating to know that your child knows how to go to the bathroom, but just chooses not to do it because they're too busy playing or just don't want to! My daughter was potty trained at 3 and then regressed from there. Like you, we tried everything! Reward systems, a treat when she made it to the bathroom, we would make a big deal out of the times that she'd go, etc. We became very frustrated with her because we knew she could do it. She also never had accidents at school or out in public, only at home when she was playing etc. I took her to the Dr. to make sure nothing was physically wrong. This was also frustrating because I also have a 7 year old boy who had no problems with potty training and a younger daughter (now 3 1/2) who pretty much potty trained herself when she was 2. She was out of pull ups before her older sister!! So, I feel your pain.
It got to the point where It would just down right make me angry when she had these 'accidents'. Getting upset with her didn't help her or me.
Basically, I just had to tell myself that she wasn't going to go to kindergarten still wetting her pants. I just stopped saying anything at all when she'd have her 'accidents'. I would make her stop whatever she was doing to go change her pants (by herself), which I think she finally realized was more of an inconvenience than taking the time to go to the bathroom. She is now a 5 1/2 year old kindergartener and she hardly ever has 'accidents'. Every once in a while she will just hold it too long, but it's nothing at all like she used to. I think it was something that she had to do on her own.

Hang in there. This is so frustrating I know, but if you push your son it may make the situation worse. I promise you he won't be in grade school still having accidents!

It is probably just a phase and he will stop soon. A lot of times kids will have periods where they regress and have accidents at that age. Just don't get angry at him, pressure him or make it a big deal. He will stop on his own. If you are really worried take him to the doctor. I have known kids his age with bladder problems and they can't help having accidents. But my guess is he will stop this on his own.

I'm in the exact same boat. My son turned four in June, has been potty trained more than one year, and is having accidents again. I have ruled out anything physical (such as a UTI) causing it, so we're just trying to reinforce going on a regular basis so he doesn't wait so long he can't make it to the bathroom on time. He starts back to preschool next week, and I really don't want to regress back to Pull-Ups!

If you are a stay at home mom then you got it made. He is doing what we all do, he is relapsing. He is growing up but he still wants that fun from having your attention all the time. So give it to him! Tell him in human english because he knows you by now that he is a big boy and he can do it now, but wouldn't it be nice if we had some extra story time together? Or how about we make some cookies tomorrow, just you and me? He will always be your little baby. Give him patience and extra love and go with the flow, pun intended.

I would suggest taking him straight to the bathroom after school and every hour on the hour taking him in to go potty.If he says he doesn't have to then let him know he will be in trouble for going in his pants since he has the chance now.Eventually he might just forget about the attention surrounding the accidents.I don't even know if it will work with him but that is the way I got my 3yr old out of her relapse.I was blessed because she only relapsed for about a week.I would just give a a little lecture about how I was dissapointed and upset that she didn't go when I gave her the chance and the next time(about an hour later)If she did it again I would have her sit in her room and think about why she refused to go when I gave her the chance.Kinda like a time out but not in the corner.Well good luck:)

I had the exact same problem with my 4 1/2 year old, one day she started wetting her pants and just wouldn't stop. I became so frustrated, we tried it all. We even tried to shame her (not that that is a good idea) nothing worked and one day she stopped as quickly as she started. I think there came a point in her life that she picked up on so many new things that she stopped taking the time. When everything became familiar to her again she quit. Good luck I know it is very frustrating.

Since you had such good luck with the potty chart before, maybe try that again. For everytime he uses the bathroom give him a sticker, or for every day he doesn't have an accident, put a sticker on the chart.

Good luck,
J.

My son has been taking a great organic pill made by hylands. for bedwetting. go to hylands.com and you can read about it and order it. I have not been able to find it here in KC. my son 10 yrs old. has a problem the doctors say he will grow out of. good luck!