Need Advice on Getting the Rest of the Family to Help Around the House.

I say, if you are the cook, spinach and liver or fish and brussel sprouts for dinner - or the threat of it. Or duck tape the power cords so they can't be plugged into the wall - that doesn't go over well with Dad though : ).

Keep them on their toes, and don't let yourself be taken advantage of too much. But, I also like to remember too, that all these little things reminds me that I have a family and am so very blessed.

Use your imagination and keep it light-hearted. Have a little fun with it. It sure beats resentment and bitterness.

Stop doing every thing yourself. Eventually they will be forced to help out. I know it wont be easy, and you may feel like you're going to go crazy before they help pick up the slack.

Hi, my life is crazy too! I babysit for friends out of my house, not really an official daycare, but with my 3, plus whoever on the day really adds to the chaos. My kids all began doing age appropriate stuff when I thought they could do it. There is no pay and along with what others said, it is expected. No dealing or you do this then that happens. It is a non debate issue (with the kids that is). They all began emptying the silverware tray, after I would remove the big things and any knives around 3 1/2. Now, the 5 and 6 year olds empty it completely, even climbing on the counter to put things away. I love the help they give me and give lots of thank yous on how nice it is to have such wonderful helpers. They take turns taking out the trash into the garage and just leaning it against the can. They all put dirty clothes in laundry room which is upstairs and just down the hall from their rooms. My 4 year old LOVES to clean and organize. As for the boys, sometimes, I withhold meals til the play room is clean or their room picked up. Not to say I am starving my kids, don't get the wrong idea. Just that they can eat after picking up. It usually is only a few minutes and they get praise AND food. Oh, and just recently, I realized what a prize bubble gum is! :) Just for one piece, they will do whatever. Now, I am sure this won't last, but it helps motivate them for now. When my dsd was around 7, we would have family meetings once a month to discuss whatever. From chores to how each of us was feeling about how life was going on a day to day. At first, I will admit it was a bit akward and I felt like a true mediator/facilitator, but in time, it really was a healthy way for each of us to get our feelings out on everything from what I cooked for dinner to why it's important to vaccum the stairs every week. I think I hit a little on it all but mostly, what it comes down to is that it takes a whole family to run the house and it takes a whole family to keep the house running, if that makes sense! ;) Emphasize each person's role in every little thing they do and how much it means to you. I shall stop rambling... :) hope it helps!

My children are 20 months and 6 years. my youngest is responsible for putting away his dirty clothes, clearing his place at the table, picking up his own toys, feeding the rabbit, and helping with the laundry. My oldest is responsible for her dirty clothes, clearing her place at the table, cleaning up her toys, sorting recycling, and helping with dinner. My point is that you simply are not expecting enough out of your family. They will not do anymore than you require of them. I think you need to have a talk with your husband about being a team and working together. I tis important that your husband contribute both to help you nad to teach your children what it means to be a part of a family.

In our family, we have taught our children that our family works together from a very early age. As our children got older, they were given more responsibilities. We began when they were 2. By the time each was 4 years old, they could make their own beds, put their own dirty clothes in the laundry. Put away their clothes that my husband and/or I folded into their dressers. Setting the table. Consolidate the garbage from all the small garbage cans in the house into the kitchen garbage sack as we readied to take it out. Light sack was relegated to the child to take out to the outside garbage can with supervision. We never paid our children. They have understood that they get clothes and food and shelter, they can participate in the care involved. Now that our oldest children are 12.5 & 10.5, they still have regular chores that help the family, but in addition, if they do jobs that they are not told to do that are above and beyond their chores or age, we tally it on a job sheet. Vacuuming the car is worth $1, washing the dishes without being told is 50 cents, and so on. At the end of the month, we pay them their earnings. Sometimes they choose to do a lot and sometimes just a few things beyond their regular chores. Our children have and will have good work ethics when they grow up because they understand that hard work is worth something whether they get paid for it or not. My husband does most of the cooking and folds the laundry most days. He never puts it his and my clothes away, I do. The kids put their own away. He does the grocery shopping and he has a full time job! I have a full time job as a teacher, but we all do our part as a family. A good book my friend has read and used that really works for her is Love & Logic.