Need Advice on Disciplining Almost 14-Month-old!

This really is kind of a phase. It's also him learning cause and effect. "If I do this...then that happens". He will outgrow it. He's really not doing this to drive you nuts, though for him it's a bonus. It's just a phase.

My daughter did this too, about the same age too until about 20 months. It's fun for them to get a reaction. One day I had a visitor (university professor of psychology) over for dinner. He suggested I simply ignore it. The next meal that's exactly what I did. I simply pretended not to see it happening. IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN! Not even once. I highly recommend this. Do what works and don't feel like you need to be the boss. Far more effective. I think babies will do anything to get a reaction and they don't understand a lot of talking about why they shouldn't do things. They start to learn reasoning around year 3-4.

I think you need to revisit your expectations of your son. He is not 3. He is only 14 months old and that behavior is totally normal. He is dropping things because he is finished eating and is bored. Why not give him his sippy cup when he is out of the highchair? Or stay there with his as he drinks it take it from him when he is done. Being a mom means cleaning up. A lot. I would reserve the NO! when it really matters like when he is doing something unsafe. At this age they don't really understand what NO means anyway.

As much as it is frustrating to you it really is normal for children his age to do this. They do think it is a game. In my opinion it just means they are full and they also get a thrill out of watching things fall to the floor. What I did with my kids was once they threw it they lost it. I wouldn't give it back. If they threw food I assumed they were full I would clean them up and take them out of the high chair. At this point yelling and saying no really doesn't mean anything to him but if he sees a consequence to his actions eventually he will realize I am not getting this back if I throw it and I am going to have get out if I drop my food. It really is just a phase. Good luck!!

I believe this is normal. My daughter does the same thing, and everyone told me she actually thinks it is a game and wants to play it with you. Your baby is growing and learning, this will pass, so don't stress and don't yell at him for it.

Hi,
I have an almost 15th month old who does the same thing! I take it as her way of saying "I'm done". When she starts doing this I say "Oh, you must be finished with your..." and take it off her tray. This seems to work (most of the time!!!).
Good luck :)
~A.

I agree with the previous posts - my daughter started doing that around the same age (she's 17 months now); I think it was just cause and effect - she dropped it to watch me pick it up and repeat. I started to realize that she was usually just done eating when she did it, so I just left whatever it was on the floor, and told her that she "lost it" (great advice from a friend!). Then I would assume that she was finished with eating and got her out of the chair and onto the next thing.

I would suggest ignoring it, mostly - he's just too little to really understand that he's doing something that is unacceptable. I have gotten used to having cheerios on the floor. I can only be bothered to clean them up once a day...bad, but I have accepted my fate!! LOL.

As far as discipline, I think it comes down to him being a little too young to get it, so I count on redirection - I just get her focused on something else. I have started explaining to her that she needs to "be nice", or "that hurts mommy", she doesn't get it, but maybe by the time she's 2, it will start to sink in. In the meantime, redirect!! Good luck!

I'd agree with others -- just try to ignore it, or take the food away from him. He may get upset, but just try to walk away and/or let him fuss. He'll eventually learn. Just don't make a big fuss of it or he'll keep doing it.

He's looking to get a reaction out of you whether positive or negative and he's getting it. He's also learning cause and effect. My 2 year old son is and was the same way. Just state your message, take it away, give him only enough under supervision, keep calm, clean up and move on...eventually he'll move on too. In the meantime, put down a towel or blanket/sheet/etc under where he eats (and within as much throwing distance as possible, but if he's like my son, he's got a good arm!). Helps with clean up. Just pick it up, shake it out in the garbage and throw it in the wash! 14 months is a little young for actual discipline but I think its ok to calmly state that "mommy doesn't allow throwing of food, etc" EVENTUALLY he will understand that, but right now he's not purposely being a problem, its part of his development. Oh and just so you know, as far as "disciplining" my son is EXACTLY the same...no matter what I said or did, he either GOT MUCH WORSE or he basically ignored me. Thats why I really started trying a whole different approach. I think my son is learning but its not that power struggle that I found it had become (not all the time anyway! there are still power struggle times!) oh I just read Kristen G's response, I just remembered we did that with my son too - gave him a bag and had him clean up whatever he could. He had no problems with it and I figured, hey at leasts he learning that if you make a mess you clean it - he is a REALLY good cleaner now too - LOL!

This is VERY normal and a learning experience. He is becoming aware of his surroundings, himself and reactions. He needs to experiment, but not with food. Or maybe with Cheerios. He has learned that if he drops things they will come back..maybe. Or maybe mommy will yell. The other moms gave good advice about not returning the food, and saying uhoh all gone. but give him a toy or 2 to experiment with also. And now is the right time for peek-a-boo. he will learn that you too disappear, but always come back.
Each stage a baby goes through is a learning experience, and while we have to control some of them, we need to have patience and realize they are not being willful.
Your son sounds like a delightful boy and enjoy his little games. At his age discipline would mainly be saying no and removing him from whatever he is doing wrong or taking away whatever he is using wrong.

Hi, R.. As the other mothers said, every child does that at this age. Picking up what your son throws onto the floor just encourages him to do it more. At this age, he learns that when he does certain things, mommy will react a certain way. When my daughter threw things for the first few times when she was younger, I simply pointed to the floor and said to her, "Uh oh. It's gone. Bye bye." And I never had a problem with her throwing food and making messes. Good luck.

Ignore it. Take the cup or food away when he throws it. He thinks its a game so discipline will only give him attention. Instead redirect his attention to a book or a song. Make it a end of meal song so he'll see games over.

I agree with the others who say to take the cup away- As far as the throwing of food. I simply took her tray away and said, "you must be done." I would give it back when she protested, but said, "cherrios stay on the tray or in your mouth" If the behavior continuted we would back her high chair away from the table so that she could see us still eating, howerver, was not part of the conversation (for about a minute). The behavior stopped pretty quickly, although even at 2 we do have those meals that more ends up on the floor from her throwing it than actually in her mouth. Now she has to clean the mess!

Hi There,
My son is 18 mos and is finally outgrowing this. You're not alone, almost every child goes through this cause and effect stage!! The worst thing to do, is to yell or make a big deal. Your child will realize that it bothers you and that he gets a reaction and will do it more!
What we did, is only put a little food on his tray at a time. We also introduced utensils for him to use (which he loved). It gives them something to focus on while eating and gives them a sense of independence. When he did fling food, we calmly said "no throwing food" and redirected him. If he did it again, we removed the food and turned his high chair around briefly, then tried again. If he threw the food again, he's done. Another thing we always do, is try to eat as a family. They like to imitate adults, and eventually will start to eat like everyone else!!

Good Luck. Now that mine isn't throwing food, he is messy as ever because he is doing everything himself with utensils!! Oh well!

Hello R.,
Almost all kids will go through this phase at one time or another. It's how we handle it that matters.

Do you take away the cuppy/ bottle, or food after he throws it? If you give him back his drink, he will think its a game. Don't give it back to him, put it where he can see it and dont give it back to him until he's out of the high chair.

He probably wont learn from this right away - that if he throws it, he wont get it back

When he throws his food, he's probably done eating it. Start to stop this behavior by giving him less food. When he starts throwing, take it away so he has nothing left to to throw. Then wash him up and take him out of his chair, the meal is done. Then hand him the dust pan and show him how to hold it, so he can help you clean up his mess.

Tell him that throwing his food is a bad thing to do and that he should not do it, with a stern look and voice.

Again, he wont know what is happening right away, but in a couple days, with the same routine, he'll figure it out that what he is doing is bad and he doesnt get to eat anymore.

Good luck

Hi there,

Mine did the same thing and I got to the point of taking him out of his chair and making HIM pick it up. After a while he didn't feel like cleaning anymore. Give it a shot.

K.

My 19 month old daughter is doing this now too.
Just started this week. Same thing...thinks it's fun and laughs at us when we tell her No etc....

I just take all the food away from her and feed her one piece at a time. She hates when she sees me clear her tray. And then I tell her that Mommy has to feed her b/c she is making a mess. Eventually, I will give her 2 pieces and see how she does, and then 3 pieces, and so on.

I think they get bored and start to make up their own games.
I know I tend to get up and wash a dish as she eats. (She is right next to me) and I talk to her as I do it. I think she then begins to make her own fun b/c I am not right next to her laughing at every silly thing she does.
It is a PIA at times, and it would be nice to just give them the food and tend to chores, but they are not that independent yet and still want our undivided attention.
After all, they are the center of the universe at this time in their development! ;)
Good Luck....as with everything else, it is a phase.
A messy one for sure, but this will pass too.
Just continue to be firm and let him know that you do not approve of what he is doing.

P.

My daughter does the same thing! She was worse before and it seems to be getting better. But, it's not all the way over.
But, these are a few things that have worked so far- I give her only a small amount of food and her drink and when she looks like she is getting ready to throw it, I take it away. I'll give it back but I hold it. If she's hungry or thirsty, she will eat, otherwise, I take it as a sign that she is done. I have also taught her the sign language for all done and I ask her and if she does that, I assume that is why she is throwing it.

My sister also bought these things for toys for the stroller- they are these straps with velcro on them and I use them on the high chair for her cup. I attach one side to the cup and one side to the high chair and when she throws her cup, it doesn't hit the floor so she doesn't get the reaction she was looking for.

Good luck!

I feel your pain, all kids do this. I ended up buying a splash pad, which is large plastic cover to keep under the area where he is eating. It made cleaning up the messes so much easier. If I didn't have the time to clean up the mess right after meals, I just moved the splash pad and cleaned it later. I think I got it at Babies R'Us.

Hang in there. They DO outgrow it...and I agree with the response below. TRY to ignore it. If he doesn't get a response, he won't want to do it as much. This was hard for me too, because I'm such a neat freak and was constantly cleaning the floors! But it does get better. My son, now 2, is the tidiest eater and actually freaks out if he drops anything on the floor.

Good luck!
Lynsey

Sounds like he enjoys throwing things.. so I'd give him a little food at a time, and when he starts to throw food, take that as a sign he's done eating. Say "we eat our cheerios, we throw balls" and hand him a ball or some other toy he can throw, take him out of the highchair, and toss it around with him. Let him experiment with dropping, throwing, manipulating in a positive way...

I agree with the previous person who said to reserve "No" for more important things (like touching something hot or running near a street!).

I am going through the same thing with my 15 month old. I like all of the advice here and plan on trying a few different things. Thanks for posting the question!!