Need Advice on Coping with Change in Routine / Schedule

You certainly are now a single mommy so to speak and it will not be easy I am sure. I depend on my husband a lot so I can not imagin. With them being so young it may be a little harder then doing the school age kids where you know your break is just around the corner.

Is there someone that you can get help with. A supportive friend with kids or a moms group that makes you want to get up and go because I know with me, having a support group would surely make the day funner to look forward too and having friends to vent issues with or just having a day to go to makes it fun.

I guess you need to challenge your patience with the little ones too. Alot of quiet time is good , reading or just relaxing. Getting a massage and you time. A moms group can help you find support to watch your kids and you can trade off. :0)

I think you have identified a number of the problems and just need support. I understand he is injured - so what is he doing about his situation? I hope he is pursuing help, either thru PT or nutrition. If he works until late, and he cannot take dd to school, can he help in the morning with non-strenuous tasks? Can he make lunches, read to the kids, help with breakfast if he's not lifting anything? That would let you get yourself ready.

You have to do dishes, but you could use paper plates once a week just to save your sanity. Call it "picnic night" and have fun with it! You don't have to clean all the time. Let it go. Throw the toys into bins, take a damp rag to wipe down the bathroom, don't make the beds. Make this a gift you give yourself, rather than look at it as "I'm failing, I can't do what I should." Your husband could maybe wipe down the bathroom sink and do a quick dusting of surface level things that don't require bending. Can he pay the bills and organize the grocery list, even if you do the shopping?

The kids are sensing your stress and they see a window of opportunity, probably. You also have less patience and are more tired. The yelling doesn't work, as you know - it's just a natural reaction to frustration. Put the kids in their rooms to play quietly - separate them from each other and from whatever they are getting into. When they are in their rooms, can you read (just don't look around the house for stuff to do!) or put in a short exercise DVD to get you doing something for yourself?

Your stress level may be something the kids pick up on at night, which is why you can't put them down on time. The older child can start to do some of her own nighttime prep - big girl stuff, call it - like put on her jammies and brush her teeth while you read to the little one, then you have your special calm time with the big one. Concentrate on being calm and that will keep the kids from being revved up. Don't think about what else you have to do that night - just concentrate, for 2 nights, on relaxing and having everyone in a state of calm. They may settle down more easily.

Try to get a babysitter for some time on the weekend so you can do something for YOU.

Hang in there!

I'm sorry that you are going through this tough time. It's understandable the way you are feeling.

You may need to let go of certain expectations for a little while. Keep dinner simple, put the kids to bed a bit earlier, give yourself some alone time at night after the kids go down, etc.

Also, even though it can get expensive, I would hire a sitter for an hour or two every week. You deserve to have some time for you and I think the best way to accomplish that is to have it set into your schedule. It's a DEFINITE priority. If you aren't taking care of yourself emotionally and physically, it's going to be a lot harder to have the energy to deal with the kids, the everyday routine, etc.

I think you are totally justified in how you feel. Now you just have to be patient with yourself and understanding AND set some time aside for you.

Try going to www.flylady.com to help with organization. A friend of mine sent me there. Just signed up for it as I'm in same boat with the cleaning and stuff. My suggestion is while hubby is recovering to do what you can and let the small stuff go. Like while I was recovering from delivery with my baby I didn't worry about cleaning much. My hubby was only home for 2 weeks....so....I tried not to stress much over that stuff. Now I'm stressing over schedules and things like money and it does change the reactions in a relationship. Try to go back to letting things fly for a little during stressful situations...maybe that will help? Hope things gets easier.