Need Advice on 11 Yo Daughter's Nervous Stomach

To be honest, she sounds just like me! I was exactly the same as a little one ( my mom has told me), and as I grew up I definitely experienced exactly what she is experiencing. Unfortunately your sentence "She is a perfectionist who over-analyzes everything and has a somewhat negative outlook." says it all... this is how I was and this was my main problem. Granted I do have a diagnosis of Spastic Colon or IBS, it is more than that...it is my nerves, it is me wanting to be perfect, I let my nerves get the best of me.

Other than, feeling for her and you, I don't have much advice. What I can offer up is this... try to help her develop her confidence in herself and her abilities, try to talk to her about ways to cope with her anxiety in a more efficient way, and most importantly know that she can't help it and let her know that you are there for her!

Hope this helps, if you would like to email me personally for more info please do, my heart goes out to her...

K.
Helping MOMS work from home!
http://www.stayinghomeandhavingfun.com

Hi M.,

WOW, your DD sounds exactly like my 8 yr old DD. My DD is also a big time perfectionist which sometimes causes her to be slower than her class mates because she's so worried about her work not looking perfect! Your DD sounds like she needs something for her nerves as well, not just for acid indigestion.
When I was in school and got nervous, sometimes I'd get so upset I started skipping class or faking an illness just to stay home. I was popular, had good friends, made good grades but NEVER felt comfortable going to school but it only got bad when I was in High school. Every morning my stomach would ache and I'd get the butterflies in my tummy while driving to school.

I read recently that social anxiety is the # 1 mental illness in people and I find that to be very true for me. My mom would take me to doctors and I remember taking a med to help me sleep at night and another one called Paxil to help with school issues and anxiety but the Paxil didn't make any difference.

Thinking back, I do wish my mom had taken me to more doctors to see what else could work for me because the stress of school was literally taking over my life. I want more than anything to attend a college but the fear of going back to school makes my stomach ache and unfortunately prevents me from getting a better education.

I have a very outgoing personality and was always the crazy goofy one of the family but I seemed to never be able to show that at school. I have never discussed this with my DD but I see her repeating some of the same nervous behaviors I did as a child. Every morning her tummy starts aching before she leaves and at the last minute she'll say "I have to go potty" which I know is from nerves.

I'm considering having my DD evaluated for social anxiety and going from there. I highly recommend you doing the same for your DD. You don't want her to have such a fear of school that she wants to skip class or ever play hooky. If she's as bad as I was and it sounds like she might be, then it will only get worse.
If anything, try getting her into some counseling and find out where her fear is coming from.

Good luck to you. I wish both you and your DD the best!

Hi M.,

My daughter has stomach problems too. She had the nervous stomach the day before middle school started. Can your daughter tell if it is her nerves or something else?

This is such a hard age for girls. The main thing to do is build her up. Let her know that she is not the only girl who feels inadequate. Remind her of all the people who know her and love her. Life is not about perfection but doing your best. We learn some of our best lessons through mistakes.

Is there something bothering her that she is keeping to herself for fear of being judged? She may be overwhelmed about ALL the responsibilities of middle school. Help her to take it one step at a time. Give her tools to talk herself down when she feels overwhelmed.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

You might consider having her tested for food allergies since this problem with food adversion and reflux has been going on since birth.
Also, this may sound weird but have you ever considered taking her to see a chiropractor? I am a chiropractor and to be it sounds like her autonomic nervous system is unbalanced. There are two components to the autonomic nervous system, the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for helping us deal with stressful situations. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for helping us relax, rest, and digest foods. To me it sounds like for one reason or another your daughter is sympathetic dominant (meaning stuck in stress mode), which is impairing her ability to relax, rest, and digest foods.
Chiropractic adjustments can help balance these two nervous systems (so they work more in harmony) by specifically treating areas that will stimulate the weaker areas to start working better.
I am not guaranteeing that it will fix/cure her problems, but for me it would be worth a shot. It is a safe, drug free alternative that might improve your daughters day to day functions. If you are interested, I specialize in pediatric and pre/post natal care and would love to have the opportunity to help. My office number is ###-###-####.