Need Advice from Someone Whose Been Here

I was 16 when I had my oldest daughter. Mark D. Smith in Ft. Worth was my doctor. He was very good. He explained everything very well and took the extra time he needed with me being so young. Most hospitols now have birthing classes for teenagers. As scary as it seems it is really not that bad, you just have to grow up faster and deal. The best thing you can do is be there to support her and show her she can do it. There is nothing like a moms love to help you through anything. I hope everything goes well and let me know if I can help in anyway.

My ob/gyn is Dr. Angela Cope. She is with Women's Integrated Healthcare in Grapevine. The entire practice is made up of women and they are all very sensitive. Some of the doctors specialize in young women and they are all concerned with providing the best medical care to all without any judgement about situations.

Hi K.,

I got pregnant when I was 16 and then went on to have my daughter while I was still 16. The doctor I went to and have continued to see is Dr. Dawn Bankston-Troiani. She is very good, thorough and makes you feel comfortable. She works in an office with 3 other female OB/GYN's so if she's ever unavailable, the other women are there for back up. She is located at Medical Center of Plano.

K.,
I am sorry for your situation however, just remember that she is gonna bring a life into this world and that can never be bad. God did not intend for this to happen to her at this age but, because of her choices it has. The good news is, that the Bible says he makes all things new. He will turn this into something good and use it for his glory. I myself got pregnant at the age of 15 and I kept her for 1 yr before realising that I could not take care of her the way she needed. I gave her up for adoption to my sister and she is now almost 17 years old. She is a beautiful girl and so full of life. It was a really hard decision that impacted my life at first in a very bad way but, now I am fine and do not regret the decision to not only spare her life but, give her a fair chance at a good one. The only advice I can give you is to love her anyway, my dad was verbally abusive to me the whole pregnancy and I felt very alone. I know this is not what you had planned for her either but, it has happened and now your family will be blessed with a precious child. Just make sure she knows you love her and support her whatever she decides to do with this baby.Prayer will be your strongest tool. I will be praying for you and know God will really show up in this. Hang in there.

I feel your pain. If you live in the south, Dr. Daum is a good doctor. He is at Methodist Hospital on Wheatland. Prayer is the best tool, also University of North Texas Dallas campus has feel counseling three days a week. They will counsel you, your son and dauther if needed. Their number is 972- ###-###-####. K., remember love is the key. Just like Jesus gave his life to show us love, you must die of your self to show your daughter love. No matter what you gave up for her in the past, you must contunie to walk in love. I will be praying for you!

I've not been there, but once I was scared I could be.
First your daughter needs to know that you still love her
and that you're willing to be by her side. You need to know how your daughter feels about the baby's father.
Second, you need to contact the father and know his input in this matter.
Three you're daughter will be find carrying this baby to term. I'm small and petite and had twins, so one would not be a problem since the body of a woman was made for that.

I simpathize with you for this could be a devasteting blow
of dreams you may have had for your daughter's future, but despite of the situation it could be a learning experience for her, and ready or not she must face reality.

I hope that your 18 yr. old will take a note and practice abstinance. You need to talk to both of your kids and lay the ground rules of what you expect of them....if He is also being sexually active I recommend the use of contraceptives...but please be sure to talk to them both of the emocional and spiritual effects that can toil their future fisically, mentally and socially.

_One last thing, it's not your fault
_You are a brave woman and your kids' hero
_The question is, Are you ready to be a grandma?

Praying for you....

My first two children were rebellious (I've changed my life considerably, have had no trouble with the next 8 :) ) But my oldest daughter had an unwed pregnancy at 17, and my second one got married at 15, had a baby at 16, twins at 18, another baby at 20, and another at 22!! She is VERY small, as am I and my first daughter, less than 5 feet tall, weighing at that time less than 100 pounds. All her babies have been premature, especially the twins, who were three months early, but they did well in spite of that.
I don't have a doctor to recommend, but I encourage you to continue with the prayer and relax. Medical science is amazing now, and I'm sure your daughter is going to do fine. After all, it was God who designed her body to carry a pregnancy at this age, and people used to have babies this young all the time, it's our society that makes it different now!

I certainly don't have all the answers, but I think turning it over to God is the best thing to do, he will take care of you and her both. Also I don't know if adoption is an option, but there are so many people out there that want kids that can't have them, so check in to that. My husband and I have 3 kids, 12, 10, and 2, I wouldn't mind having another one to go with my 2 year old but not sure I want to put my body through another pregnancy, I'm 36. Please let me know if there is any thing we can do to help you and we will keep you both in our prayers.

I had my first son 3 weeks after I turned 16. This was a hard time but also one of the best times ever. I truly believe the best thing for her is to pray, be there for her, stay positive (and I know this is hard), and try look at this in some way as a blessing because I know in the end it truly will be. I graduated early (actual diploma from HS) with a 3.5 that was way better than I was doing before I had my son. I know that my mom had a hard time with the fact of me being prego and being so young but it happens. My life has really turned out great. I know I wouldn't be here without the love and support of my family. I too was very tiny and it wasn't the easiest thing to be pregnant but women are made for being pregnant look at Nicole Richie... I had a healthy little boy almost 4 weeks early. Just support her, answer ?'s she has honestly, and have her start reading on everything from labor, motherhood, pregnancy,ect..... Knowledge is the best thing. If she doesn't already have a ob/gyn really all ob/gyn see young patients but I think if you live anywhere near Ft. Worth I would have to say take her to Ft. Worth womens (Dr.'s Alexis, Kolar and Pritchett)###-###-#### they are the best ever they are female and just awesome and they are rated in top 100's of dr's.I also would recommend Dr. Watson and his PA Stephanie they are also awesome ###-###-####. They will be able to answer ?'s that you and your daughter may have. One other thing dont make huge decisions about her future just yet. Like dont let her get married move out anything like that or let the guy move in. She still is 16 but growing up fast and but things happen and change and you dont want to add anything extra to what is going on. My mom wouldn't let me get married which I didn't want to but my son's father and family wanted us to. Also I didn't give him his dad's lastname and it was the best thing. He really showed his true color and eventually just didn't do anything to help and not all dads are that way. I have gone to college but I am now a stay at home mom and wife. My husband has adopted my oldest son and is great like I said my life has turned out great and I believe thanks to God, my mom, my family, and taking a little more time on decisions really helped me out. My son is now 10 and in 5th grade and he is just awesome. I also have 2 other kids now too 3 and 1... It's the unexpected but can be the biggest blessing and I know thats how I see and the rest of my family sees it.. God Bless! If you need to talk or have ?'s just email me I would be more than happy to talk or answer any ?'s.

I LOVED Dr. Saunders at Arlington Memorial Hospital. It was mainly Kate who I saw but they are such sweet people and I was young when I got pregnant too and they do a wonderful job. You should get her on medicaid to help with bills and also for free formula and food vouchers. MCA also does childbirth classes for free for teenagers it would be better to be surrounded with people her age cuz believe me she is gonna feel so alone. I was depressed my entire pregnancy and suicidal. Find her some prenatal vitamins and preggie pops for morning sickness.

But one thing... give a little tough love, it was her decision to be sexually active. I mean not right now be there for her but after the baby is born and she wants to go out and have fun. She is just going to have to learn to grow up alot faster than she wanted to. Giving her a break is fine but not every weekend. Trust me thats how my mom did me and I'm glad she did it and is doing it. No offense though.

All children are a gift from God no matter what situation they come in. Oh and I had transfered into a special school for pregnant girls and it helped alot. I graduated early and they educated me with pregnancy things.

Congradulations grandma! ;)

HiKim, I at one time was your daughter. 16 and pregnant. I handle the pregnancy very well. Im not from around this area (to help out with the dr choice) but I am a nurse and more and more teens are becoming pregnant and sadly at even younger age. You are doing the right thing with prayer. She will be going through a lot of things at her age and pregnant. Just an FYI even though i dropped out of school to take care of my baby because MY mom said it was my responsibility I am a very successful woman today at 38. It just made my life harder. If you ever want to talk if your daughter ever needs to talk to someone that has been there and done that. Just know I am available.

L. Phares

I got pregnant at 16 and had her at 17. The best advice I can give you is to not do everything for her. I did have the support of my family but they always made me do things for myself. My mom stayed home from work for 2 weeks with me. I had a job and I went to school. When my baby was 6 months old my boyfreind and I moved in to our own apartment. We got married 6 months later. I still graduated. Now I know some people would frown on that but we are a very good sucess story. There were other girls in school who were pregnant too and it didn't turn out so well. One girl's mom took care of the baby for her and she was on baby number two by the time she graduated. The other's mom made her get married and she ended up divorced, pregnant with baby number 2 and hubby number 2 by the time she graduated. I now own a house of my own, have two beautiful girls, and a wonderful husband. We have been together for 11 years and married 9. I

If you are in the Dallas area, Dr. Angela Angel at Presbyterian Dallas is an excellent OB-Gyn. She "specializes" in high-risk pregnancies. I used her for my VBAC and loved her. I will pray for y'all.

I was 18 and weighed 100 pounds when I got pregnant with my first--so her body should adjust. As far as gynos--I don't know of one that is better than the other.Just be supportive--as hard as it may be sometimes. I made my mom become a grandmother when she was 38 years old and it was hard at first--but time heals all. Just love her and try to help her have a relaxing pregnancy for the sake of the baby. God Bless.

K.-
I'm not sure what area of the city you live in, but if you are near an OB practive with a nurse-midwife, that would be the way to go. They have alot more time and do alot more teaching and provide more labor support than she will get with an MD. The nurse-midwives are very popular in other parts of the country, not so many around here.
J.-
OB nurse for 25 years.

I haven't been there done that, but I do know she will get the best care from a midwife. I have experienced three different births, and the one I used a midwife was the best. She made it all about me and my baby instead of a medical procedure. She was incredibly nurturing, and a scared mom to be can find that very comforting. I know there is a group of midwives that practice out of Harris Methodist downtown. I would check into that!

I don't know how much this will help, I went to church with a girl that volunteered at the "Teen Pregnancy Center" I think it is located in the HEB area.

Hi K.,
Congrats, believe me if it was meant to happen, it is such a blessing. My mom was 16 when she had my sister & I (twins). We are now 29. My mom was 95 pounds and went to FULL term with us & actually fell asleep when she was delivering. So now with today's technology I think your daughter will be fine. My twin sis got prego with twins too when she was a senior with the same built as my mom. She had more problems, but her doctor was there the whole time for her. I just wanted to say everything will work it out & what a blessing it will be. Your daughter needs you & you need her- so good to be there for each other through this time. I wish I knew a good doctor here, but we just moved from Florida. Good luck & god bless! PS- tell her to take her vitamins and try (i know it is hard) to eat right for her & baby. :)

K.,

I would highly recommend Dr. Joseph Kilianski, who is Chief, Obstetrics/Gynecology at Baylor Regional Medical Center - Grapevine. While I do not know whether he has a great deal of experience with teen pregnancies specifically, I do know that two of his areas of special interest are high-risk obstetrics and Pediatric/Adolescent Gynecology.

From the perspective of a patient (he delivered twins via c-section for me in 2001), he is kind, nurturing and has a pleasant (as opposed to an inappropriate) sense of humor, which can be tension-easing in difficult situations. He is with North Texas Women's Healthcare Associates at ###-###-#### and their website is www.myobg.com.

As for your daughter's small stature, only an OB would be truly qualified to tell you whether or not hers could put her at risk. However, I know one woman who is just as tiny (short, thin, etc.) as you can possibly imagine a full-grown woman could be, and has delivered two sets of twins with no complications. You would be amazed what our bodies are designed to accommodate!

Good luck to you, your daughter and your grandbaby,

L.

Remember God is the only one that has ever had a perfect child.
That gave me comfort in a terrible situation.

I have not been exactly in your shoes, but I am a nurse at an OB/GYN office here in mckinney. We deal with teen pregnancy very often and all of the doctors are wonderful and we even have a nurse midwife who is wonderful and takes a lot of time with her patients. If interested we are the only all female practice here in mckinney. There are four doctors and a nurse midwife

Oh K., I know exactly what you are going through and let me tell you that with alot of prayer and I know only through Gods help, did my daughter, my whole family and I make it through this. My daughter was 14 and let me tell you the last person you would, or anyone would ever think to get themselves in such a situation. But I agree with alot of other responses you got that things happen for a reason and right now the best thing you can do is to be there for your daughter. She is more afraid then you are because she still has her life ahead of her and now life has thrown her into a situation which will make her grow up alot faster and now who choices will not only effect her, but also the future of her little family. Definitely, the tough love needs to come into play and you have to let her take on as much of the responsibility as possible. BUT, always be there for her and ler her know that you are still proud of her and continue to just shower her in support and love. My daughter is now in the 10th grade, is fifteen with a 10 month old, but she is doing great at school, has alot of great friends for support, goes to boxing training (to keep fit) twice a week, still does her daily chores around the house and loves and takes such wonderful care of her daughter. Now that our storm has finally calmed :), we know that our life as a family is right where it should be and our grandbaby, Isabella, has brought so much more happiness into our lives. I know you will do fine as a grandmother and your daughter will make a wonderful little mommy because she has a caring mom to guide her, along with the Lords help :). I'll keep you and your family in my prayers K. and please, email me if you have anymore questions. God Bless!!!

I'm currently expecting my first child, and I see Dr. Cynthia Robbins. She is great, and very understanding to special circumstances. She has also been voted in the top 50 doctors in Tarrant county, by a group of her peers, for I can't tell you how many years.

I have a very small frame as well, and this was one of my big concerns when I got pregnant. As long as she is taking her prenatal vitamins and taking it easy things should go fine. It's amazing the way the body spreads and separates during pregnancy.

Here is the doctor's information. There are four doctors who work out of this building, and they are all super professional and have a great deal of experience. I wouldn't send my family anywhere else.

Dr. Cynthia Robbins
###-###-####
851 W Terrell Ave, Fort Worth, TX

I am a single 20 yr old mom but however I got pregnant of the age of 18. It was my first semester in college.

My parenets where really over protective and well when I went to college I went to a party and lost my virgity to some guy I had been dating.

My mom and dad basically wanted nothing to do with me as they were very relegious and were ashamed of me.

Really all i wanted was someone to help me through it. Someone to comfort me. Everyone makes mistakes in this world.

And if she is pregnant and carries to fullterm then it is meant to be. God doesnt give the gift of life if its not meant to be.

Everything happens for a reason.

Its going to be really hard and you and your daughter will have lots of hard times but in the end you are strong and so is she and you will get through this.

I considered adoption with my child but in the end i kept her.
She is almost 2 years old now. I am in school fulltime and am starting my own buisness and im only 20 years old.

It just takes a little faith. And in a way my daughter has saved my life and made me a better person.

Just seek God In all things.

Love your daughter help her through this be supportive of what ever desicion she makes with the child.

THATS ALL I WANTED... WAS A SUPPORT GROUP!

I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 17, and it was really scary. I ended up with a c-section b/c she was breach, but I recovered well, and with the loving support of my parents, I became a wonderful mom to a beautiful little girl who is now a thriving 7 year old with an adoptive dad. I completed high school through an alternative school for pregnant teenagers, and I couldn't have done any of it without my mom. Just love her, and don't raise that baby for her. I'm so glad that my mom made me take the reigns. I'm a better, more mature parent for it today. There are LOTS of local resources for young moms. If you need any help, let me know. I've been through it ALL!

I would suggest talking to your primary care doctor to see if you can get a referral to a sensitive OB/GYN.

As a point of concern, I have known a number of very small women who have had no problems delivering because of their stature. The female body is a wonderful thing, even if that body is only 16 years old. Her OB will be able to check that out as she goes through the pregnancy.

In the meantime, give your daughter loving support and GOOD INFORMATION. If she is old enough to get pregnant, she is old enough to know everything about reproduction and keeping the baby healthy. You can give her good information versus what she might be hearing from her friends. And, she needs to know what effects alcohol or drugs will have on her baby (even if you are sure she never imbibes).

Our oldest son dated a young mother. Her baby was only 4 mo. old when they started dating. The baby wasn't his, but we all loved that baby. In the meantime, her family was supportive. Even though she still lived with her family, tt was assumed that she would do the primary care. However, she was never penalized by not being allowed to participate in regular school activities and evening events. Either she took the baby along or her family watched him for her.

Although that relationship with our son fell apart after about 5 years, we still have a close friendship with her as an adult who is happily married and has 2 other children. She was able to grow to adulthood and be a responsible 16 year-old mother. That baby is now a grown, married man serving in the Air Force.

I wish you all the luck and a healthy pregnancy for your daughter.

J.

K. -

I was 17 when I became pregnant for the first time. It was very difficult. My mother was extremely supportive of me and did not pressure me to do anything. After we found out, we sat down and talked about my options (adoption, keep, and even abortion). When I told her that I wanted to keep the baby, she said that was what she wanted also. To this day, I know that she wanted me to keep the baby the whole time, but I felt good that she gave me all of my options and let me make the choice without judging me. We also talked to my boyfriend's parents and both families had a meeting to discuss. This is a good idea so that everyone is on the same page. Although, I do understand that this is not always an option.

As far as a good ob/gyn, I would suggest Dr. Waldrep at Medical City - Dallas. I did not use her for that pregnancy, but did for my last pregnancy 2 years ago. I had some complications. I like her because she is very supportive and gives non-judgmental medical advice. (I didn't want to breasfeed and she did not pressure me into doing it.) She is very matter-of-fact and I like that in a doctor. She is a great doctor but also cared about my mental state during the pregnancy (My husband was in Iraq from the time I found out about the pregnancy until after the baby was born.)

One thing that I think is extremely important is to do everything possible to encourage her to stay in school. I graduated high school with honors. I then went to college but did not complete it. However, 7 years later I will graduate college this May. Staying in school is very important if she is to make a better life for herself and her child.

Things will get better. Make sure that she understands that this situation does not define who she is or what her life will be like. She decides her situation through the decisions she makes and attitude that she has. I was very determined that I would make something of myself and we would have a great life. It took even more strength and determination than most people need, but I succeeded. After my sons 2nd birthday, I met a great man who fell in love with my son. Eleven years later, we are happily married with two other children. My son is smart, polite and respectful. He is one of the best children and we receive compliments everyday from other parents and teachers (this is not to say that he is perfect - he is still a child that makes his share of mistakes.).

Anyway, please feel free to email me should you have any other questions. I have actually mentored some pregnant teens in the past. It helps sometimes to have support from someone who has been in this situation before and gives hope to know that you can and will come through it.

Good Luck!
J.

K.,
I have not been there, however I have several nieces & nephews that did. My youngest niece was 15 when she got pregnant, and she is very small in stature and carried the baby fine. Also my nephews friend was very small to, and did great. They just look like they swallowed a beach ball! Dr. Jeffer's is our family ob gyn, and he did my nieces pregnancy and she really liked him. He's on Randol Mill in Arlington accross from Memorial. He's great and very nurturing. I know the dissapointment has set in, and you really wanted more for your daughters future. Just be supportive and allow her to decide if maybe adoption is an option. A friend's daughter did that, and although that decision was terribly hard, she has never looked back on it. The parents even send her pictures and invite her to the birthday's. Open adoptions are great, if you can do it without regrets. Also, remember where the enemy ment for evil, God can turn into something good. My great nieces and nephews have brought so much joy to our family. Family events are full of crying babies, toddler's throwing tantrums, and spit up. And we love it!!! The hard part is after the babies born is to not try to take over and become mommy. She needs to be the primary care giver, and her choice has now cut her teenage years very short. My brother took over and felt like my niece needed her teenage years, and his granddaughter calls him "daddy" - even though he constantly corrects her. I can't imagine how confused she will be as she grows older, and she's only 2.

Dr Bertrand ###-###-####) in dallas across the street from Presbyterian hosp. He is awesome! and has been on the 'best doctor' list many years. He has the best bedside manner. Not to mention he has 13 children himself.

If she will be on medicaid go see Dr Natalie Light. She is located in Presby Dallas at Health Central Womens care ###-###-####. She is a high risk doctor.

Just keep your daughter healthy & eating properly. Try to get her to read everything she can about pregnancy & and babies can while she's pregnant. There are some websites that can be very helpful. It just depends on if she prefers magazines & books or on the web. I am a grandma to the sweetest (unexpected) baby girl that happens to be in my arms at the moment. Can't imagine life without her.

Babies Online E-Announcements
AmericanBaby.com
Weekly Update - Child.com
____@____.com
Parents.com

Best of luck to you all

Hello K. B
I am mother of 3. May I suggest.If your in the DFW metroplex please contact Dr. Richard White he is excellent GYN. I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer. Please don't hestitate to contact me via email
____@____.com.

K.,
Hi, My step daughter got pregnant at 14 and had the baby days before she turned 15. Before her pregnancy, she was an honors student, a star soccer player that was already being scouted by some universities, and participated in beauty/scholarship competitions...needless to say a real overachiever and very focused on her future. Once the baby was born, she dropped out of high school 6 months later because it was too hard going to school and taking care of a baby. When she was 17, she moved out of her mom's house and moved in with a guy and lived with him for 4 years. In those years, her little boy becomes very attached this new "dad". Couple of years ago,they break up and in the meantime has another baby with this boyfriend. At different times, she tries to go to community college and she always ends up dropping her classes. The only boyfriends/friends are the kind of people that she thinks she "deserves"--not the kind of people that she would have been with before......sorry for the long story....and I'm not trying to depress you more....that's definitely not my intent. I just wanted to reinforce the idea that EVERYTHING in your daughter's life will be affected with the birth of this sweet child. For example, your daughter's future husband, the father of this baby, her education, her friendships, etc. I'm sure you've thought of all these things. But, I just wanted you to consider adoption...there are so many christian families out there that can't have children that would give anything for a baby...your daughter's baby could be raised in a home with a mom & dad and enough resources/care for this child. I hope I'm not upsetting you...I just wanted you to consider another big and viable option for you and your daughter and for your grandchild. One of the pastor's at my church has a daughter that had a baby and she gave him up for adoption and it is an open adoption where the my education pastor and his wife and daughter can celebrate birthdays/holidays with the child. So, it's not like you won't ever see the child again. I'm just hoping you'll consider this. May God guide you in all these big decisions that are coming your way.

I was 16 & preg many years ago...he is 23 now. It's the toughest thing ever. Prayer is the best thing to do, but as far as a gyno...I use Dr Robert Watson who is located downtown FW. My 18 yr old daughter sees his PA, Stephanie. They are very caring and make a not so pleasant experience, better. His office number is ###-###-####. I wasn't seeing him when I was 16 but have been with him the last 14 yrs. Preg can be tough and it changes your life, especially at such a young age. You no longer get to be a kid, but I turned out okay and so did my son. God will get you and your daughter through it and it will be a blessing. I finished high school with supportive in-laws, my mother was horrified. I wish you only the best of luck and will keep you and your daughter in my prayers as well! Good thing she has a supportive mother. That will make a world of difference for you both. Hang in there!

I'm sorry that I have no advice to offer in way of a gyno but i would like to tell you that I will pray for you and your daughter. I can only imagine how difficult this circumstance is but I live my life everyday knowing that God does nothing without a reason & purpose. Every life He allows is a blessing, so congratulations on your blessing.

K.,
Coming from someone who got pregnant at 17 and not has a 16 yr old daughter that fears your situation daily. I can highly recommend Jeanean Carter she is a certified nurse midwife, in McKinney, (not sure where you are) ###-###-####. She is with a great group of doctors and only does deliveries in the hospital. She is awesome with young girls. She got married and pregnant at a young age as well, she had 3 girls before getting divorced. She has raised them on her own at the same time went back to school to get her degree. If I were in your situation I would take my daughter to her.
As far as support from you, I agree with some of the others. I had a very hard time and struggled a lot however I had great support from my family. NOTHING was handed to me. I worked and finished school. Just be there for her! My daughter and I have a great relationship. I got married when she was 4 and my husband loves her as his own. It is very scarry but imagine how she feels.

Hey there, my name is Sarah and i'm a young 15 year old mom. My mom and I read this and i thought i would write you. I have been there and yes it's a very scary situation. I wanted to let you know that there is a site called standupgirl.com that your daughter could visit. I was on there everyday when i was pregnant, it is a great site that helps you know everything about the pregnancy. Your daughter can register an account on there, all there is are young girls who are pregnant and they can give eachother advice and suppourt. It's amazing to see how such young girls can be so strong. My daughter is 10 months now so all the troubles and worries are a little while back now. I am just so thankful that God brought me through all of this. I wouldnt worry about your daughters size. I have a friend who is 16, she is 4`9 and the smallest (skinniest) girl i know but she had 8 and 9 pound babies and they were healthy. It's amazing all that the female body can handle! Well im sorry for going on and on but i hope that site could help your daughter a bit. I wish you and your family the best of luck and pray that your grandbaby will be healthy = )

Hi, K.. While I do not really have any specific resources myself, I just want you to know that I will be in prayer for you and your daughter. My husband was a youth pastor for many years, therefore we have been through situations similar to yours. My suggestion would just be to cover her in prayer and prayerful people. Is your daughter's father in the picture at all, and if not, do you have someone who would be willing to be a father figure to her? I think as mothers, it's so obvious to us what our role is in the lives of our children, but we often do not realize that it truly is the father who has the most profound influence on our children and how they grow into adulthood. I think a TRUSTWORTHY and SAFE, positive father figure would greatly benefit your daughter. She definitely needs you by her side as a woman and her mother, but this positive male relationship is very important. Also, go to your church for their resources. They may know of a support group for your daughter, as well as for you, or at least a good counselor.
I do not know of an ob/gyn who specializes in teen pregnancies, but your own may have a good suggestion, either a peer of his/her or someone he/she knows that would have this resource. Again, the church would be a good place to go for this, too. They may not know of someone specifically, but they should be able to point you in the direction of someone who does.
Above all, stay in prayer. Just as you said, if you seek Him, God's hand will be in this situation. My husband experienced an unplanned pregnancy first hand when he was 18, and I now have a beautiful, intelligent, very together 17 year old step daughter that I can't imagine life without. So keep your head up and focused on Him. Be wise in your decisions with your daughter, and your situation will turn around. Your daughter has a very long, very hard road ahead of her, but with the proper support, she will learn from this situation and be shaped by the choices she has made, but especially by how she now deals with those choices, as well as the decisions she makes from here on.
Good luck, and blessings to you.

K.,

First of all, I would like to say that I understand what you are going through. My 16 year old came to me several months ago and told me that she had sex for the first time. She also told me that she thought she might be pregnant. The first thing I did was ask her why she didn't use a condom, because we have discussed birth control and std's since she was TWELVE!!! That's beside the point though. As it turned out, she was not pregnant, but the SCARE in itself was enough. K., I am not sure what your beliefs are, but as you explained, your daughter is tiny (so is mine), and you don't think she would be able to sustain the pregnancy. She is ONLY 16, she can't even take care of HERSELF! HOW would she take care of a baby? It truly saddens me to think about the choice of abortion, but you all as a single parent family truly need to think about what it would take to raise another child, the relationship between the your daughter and the father of the child and HIS mindset, who would care for the child while you are both working, finances, etc. If you're chosing to go through with the pregnancy, then it would be wise to get together with the father and his family, and put together a plan that works for all of you.

God Bless you all, and stay strong.

T. Daley

Prayers headed your way. Be very supportive. We all make mistakes in life and we learn from them. both my older and younger sister's were 16 and got pregnant so I learned alot from sitting back and watching. The worse thing you can do is tell her she is at fault. Enjoy this time with your daughter it will bring the two of you very close as she will depend on you even more now. Just think what a wonderful gift you are about to receive out of this! I did not see what part of the area you live in but my daughter in law went to a DR Kyle in Decatur. I went with her on most of her appointments due to my son working out in the oil field so I stepped in for him and her Dr was wonderful. I have a beautiful happy 10 month old grandson today, never thought being a grandma could make me feel so great inside. Your daughter will be fine as long as she has support.

I've not been in your shoes before. However, I do have a 17 year old daughter who is a senior in high school. We've had the pregnacy scare and it's no fun. But your daughter is not the first to get pregnant too young and I promise, she won't be the last. It's too bad, but it's life. I don't know what area you live in, but my daughter and I go to the same OB/Gyn. She is here in Arlington and her name is Jeannine Thomas at ###-###-####~ This lady is simply the very best! If you would like to reach me to talk further, please call me at ###-###-#### during regular business hours- my name is Kiki. Keep the faith and you must be a guide for your daughter. Even in becoming a young mother, she still needs your help and structure and guidance. Y'all hang in there.

I have not been there, but I was thinking that you probably could find a good OB recommendation from a ministry that helps unwed mothers, such as FatherHeart in East Texas. They probably have other sources to give you some wonderful counsel as well. I can not imagine what you are going through. I will pray for you and your daughter.

I didn't read the other responses as there are so many. But I wanted to say God would not allow her to become pregnant if her body could not physically handle it. I saw on tv a couple weeks ago, I believe, she was the smallest woman (under 3 feet) carried her baby almost to full term. It can be done. I would hate for her to consider abortion for this reason. There are so many people that would love that baby if she can't handle it.

I haven't been there, but I've worked with a lot of teen mothers. I would definitely suggest calling the Parenting Center and explaining your situation. They will be able to help you and your daughter get through this tough time.

Also I have a personal friend that has resources for your daughter. I have a 16 year old daughter and I can't imagine what you're going through.

Locations for The Parenting Center

1111 W Abram St # C
Arlington, TX 76013
###-###-####

100 East Broad Street
Mansfield, Texas 76063
Phone: ###-###-####

2928 West Fifth Street
Fort Worth, Texas 76107
Phone: ###-###-####

Dear K.,
I too just found out that my 16 yr old is pregnant, I found that alot of prayer is helpful, I'm a single mother too, I took my daughter to a female gyn to take care of her and the baby, my daughter is 12 weeks along and she is also haveing a hard time dealing with all of this, I'm there for her and I answer any question she may have and I have bought alot of books like what to except when your excepting, and other books I have also told my to write letters about how she feels I to write and it helps me alot, I do suggest that if you live in a state where they have state funded medical if you don't have any ins, and any thing like wic ( they help with health food for your daughter) and walmart sells prenantals that do not cost alot,and if she brakes out with acne tell her not to freak out it is normal I hope this is helpful you can email me if you need to just talk, ____@____.com V.

Hi K.,

I would like to recommend Craig Ranch OB-Gyn on the McKinney/Frisco border/on 121. I have had 9 pregnancies, 7 of which resulted in miscarriages. There is a Certified Nurse Midwife who works with the doctors (I love Dr. Tricia Shimer)and she has been an angel during our tough times. Her name is Jeanean Carter and her 14-yr old daughter had a baby 6 months ago. Not only can she relate to your stress, she truly understands your daughter's as well. If you need to just talk, please call her at ###-###-####, press 2 and ask to speak with Jeanean Carter. You will be so glad you did. With thoughts and prayers for you and your family, J. in Prosper. http://www.drshimer.com/home

Hello,

I have not been in your position, but I have worked with a group of certified nurse-midwives in the office and in Labor & Delivery. They do work under a physician. They provide obstetrical and gyn services. I actually was a patient before for pregnancy and now a gyn patient. It was a great experience, I wish I had known about them sooner. I know your probably thinking midwives???. They are awesome. Yes, they do deliver in the hospital and provide pain management care during labor for their patients. Many of their clients involve teenage pregnancy. Educating their patients is one of their big expertise. If they feel you need to see the physician you will be set up with him or they can consult with him regarding your care. They provide the best care for their patients. I hope this information will be of a guidance or headstart for you to find care for your daughter.
May your daughter know you will always be by her side no matter what. I wish you all the best. God Bless.

Take Care.
C.

The Midwife Center at Andrews Women's Hospital
1650 W Magnolia
Fort Worth, Texas 76104
###-###-####
M-F 8-5pm
(Closed for Lunch 1230-130pm)

Dora is the manager and runs the front office.
She is great and can be of great assistance and provide you with more detailed information.

Many years ago my 16 year old daughter became pregnant while in high school. She was only 4'11" and 95 pounds.she had avery easy pregnancy and delivery.She was very active and attended school until delivery. She later married a wonderful man who adopted the child and made a wonderful home for them.
Good Luck
pj

K. I am not to sure if you got a real respons to your question. I had a wonderful gyn for the birth of my children his name is Dr. White and he is off magnolia street in Ft. Worth. I don't know if your daughter is on medicade or insurance but he takes both and is the best. I wish you all the luck in the world. Teen pregancy is tuff I know.

I really love my OBGYN. Her name is Lori Atkins and her practice is in the physicians building in baylor SW in FTWorth. I do not have her phone number but I am sure she is listed. I do not know if she has any "special" training with teen pregnancies...all I can say is I would trust her with my and my childs life.

Hope that helps
Mandy

Wow, I still have little ones and know you must be in a state right now.

The only thing I can say is there is no better time like now to be close to her. she will need your guidence and love more now than ever. A negative reaction now will only push her furthur away and will not change the situation. Be open, honest and talk with her and encourage her to talk with you. I wish you the best. There is a reason for everything and God know us ALL before we are formed and as we are formed planned or unplanned...

A.

I'm in the same boat my soon to be 16 yr old is 5 months pregnant,An we are using Dr kaywin Carter who is treated her very good,an took time to answer her guestions an explain everything to her.Also Dr Suitor I believe thats how it's spelled I heard is very good.If it will make you feel any better there have been several girls from her school that have had babies,over the last year are so all were petite girls an all had healthy babies.The main thing is to keep reasurring her that you are there for her.And God will not give her are you anything you can't handle.

K.,
I don't know where you live in the metroplex, but I am a coordinator to a group called TeenMOPS. I am sure you have heard of MOPS. This one is geared toward Teen moms from pregnancy on. We are here to focus on the needs of the girls and babies. We have regular meetings where we teach, share, build friendships and also have lots of fun. We are located in S.Arlington at the Church on Rush Creek.###-###-####) There is also one at Tate Springs and other locations. You can find the closest one to you by going to www.mops.org
If you are interested call the church. I would be more then happy to speak with you.

My first bit of advice is to consider hiring a doula. A doula is a birthing coach that is an advocate for the mother-to-be. She doesn't deliver the baby, but can be an enormous help during labor and delivery. My friend (a certified doula) specialized in teen births and helped ease the anxiety and pain for these young mothers.

My next bit of advise may be a bit early, but I would suggest keeping an open mind and open heart to the option of adoption. Some people wouldn't even consider giving up their baby, but it takes an unselfish, sincere look at what would be best for the child. There are so many couples out there waiting to share their homes and lives with children who aren't born under the best circumstances. My sister, cousin, and a couple of good friends have all been all the receiving end of adoption and it has truly blessed the lives of both the adopting families and the birth families.

K.,

I cover you and your family in prayers. I have been here with my daughter, she was 18 at the time. She managed to keep it from us until she went into labor. God has blessed you with a daughter that trusts you, that is why she has come to you. She needs you more than ever right now.

I have not read the other responses because there are so many. I am sure they have given you great advise. I speak from my heart with the help of God as I try to help you.

I am sorry, but I do not know any doctors in your area, so I can not help you with that. I am sure there are many who have helped young ladies like your daughter.

What I can do is tell you a bit of my story. This was the best help I had, from people who had been in the same position.

I can tell from your note, you are a woman of faith. Talking to God through all of this is the best thing you can do. He does answer prayers so keep lifting them up to him. He will help with the decisions you daughter is going to have to make in the next few weeks and months.

Like I said, our daughter kept her pregnancy hidden until she went into labor. Made us feel like really bad parents not being able to tell there was something wrong. She and the father had already decided to place the baby for adoption. This was a very difficult decision for her and was very hard for us to accept. They requested Christian Homes in Abilene to come in and help with the process. They are wonderful! they have been through everything you can imagine and know how to help. If this is the road she chooses, they are very easy to find and help all over the state.

As hard as that decision was, she made it through. With the help of family, friends and Church, she was able to learn a lot about herself she didn't know. I am so happy she chose life for that beautiful baby girl. She is 5 now.

My daughter now has a gorgeous two year old daughter. But she knew she was ready this time. Only you know your daughter, you and she need to discuss all her options, the sooner the better.

I know you will find a good doctor for her, and I will continue to pray for you all.

I am a mother of a 16 year old daughter in June when she was 15 she came to me pregnet also. I stayed calm and she made her own mind up about what she wanted to do, but the doctor that I had when I was pregnet with her at 17 is no longer practing, but you might try dr ashby, if he can not take her call dr williams. You and her will get through this just understand she needs you now as a mother and a friend.

I've ben going to this gyn for 100 yrs. He's the best. You will both love him....he has daughters too. I have been a single mom of two girls. My prayers are with you both. It really won't be as bad as it seems now. Keep the faith....he will pull you through this too.

I realy cant say that i understand how you are feeling right now but, i can understand how your daughter is. I had my 1st child at 16 and my last at 35. it was not the easiest thing to do but i would not trade any of my 4 kids for the world. I would recommend that you both get with a counselor at the Arlington Pregnancy Center. They have a great program for young mothers as well as can help both of you through this time. And they will have a list of OB's that they can recommend that are good with teenagers. As well as they offer classes for her if she keeps the baby and some for if she does not ( either abortion or adoption). If she would like to talk to someone who as been there I am available. I will keep you 3 in my prayers and if you would like to talk I am here for you too. Just take it a day at a time , both of you, and in the end she will need to do what is right for her. Even if it is not what is right by you . keep your chin up and remember that you are not alone.

Believe me I have been there too my daughter had a baby at 15teen and I come from a family that this is a bad thing. So it was a total shock to our whole family, my issue is that I was never told and she is allot like me I only gained 14lbs with both my two times having a son and a daughter and never showed and it was summer time you know sleeping all day and staying up late while you sleep to go to work each day. I found out the day before my grandson was due I was floored. I wanted to do all kinds of bad things but knew that was not the answer and would not fix anything, I thank god everyday because he watched over her and the baby and there was nothing wrong with him or her. He was born weighting 6lbs & 6ozs and she went into labor at 5pm and had him at 10:25pm that same day and had him natural and she only weighed 115 and now he is so loved by all so much and we all take very good care of him. Our school system also offers daycare assistance and my daughter is staying in school and is in the 10th grade. She will turn 16teen in May and will go on to college to become a nurse. I too thought there was no way this would work. I have been married for 21 years and have two wonderful children. I know my daughter messed up with her judgement but we can work through and cope with whatever god puts us through because we are his people and he made very good and strong people. You and your daughter will be fine and you will love this child no matter what happens ahead and has happen in the past, but just be sure she gets her education she will need it so she does not have to relay on a man to take care of her. Lots of Luck too YOU and your daughter!

I feel for you. I have been where your daughter is. I was 16 when i got pregnant. Let, me tell you though, I was 5'5" and 105 pounds, i had a 10.5 lb. baby boy.(all natural). God made her to be able to give birth, no matter what her stature. Do you have insurance to cover her? If not, she can get medicaid regardless of circumstances, simply because she is pregnant. I am 42 now and still married to the father of that 10.5 baby boy and have a 2 year old now. What a life, but with God and PATIENCE, it will work out for you and your daughter. Hang in there, wish i could say just the right thing...Sometimes it is SUCH a journey, do it with your head held high and know that God is in control, you just have to let go and let him carry you through it.

Dr. Vella Chancellor (Obstetrician / Gynecologist)
2800 E Broad St Ste 400
Vella V Chancellor Md
Mansfield, TX 76063

She and the nurse practioner are absolutely wonderful and are accepting new patients.
I went for the first time two weeks ago. I HIGHLY recommend her. Lots of experience in that office and would be good for you AND your daughter :-)
Best of luck,
My prayers are with you both
~ C.

PS if you are not already attending a church Fielder Road Baptist in Arlington is great and would be a great support system/outlet for you.

I have not been there done this in your same capacity but have met with & had appointments with The Crisis Pregnancy Center in Duncanville (off of Big Stone Gap). The director's name is Angie & she HAS BEEN THERE, DONE THAT with hundred's of teens & ladies. ###-###-####

The Center is free as far as I know. They make the "to be" mothers watch videos & earn points towards items in their store (maternity clothes, baby things). Sometimes it's better for your daughter to hear words from others rather than you (like eating & caring for the child).

The center is a Christian based place.
Good luck. I'd like to hear back from you if you take your daughter here. Thanks, J.