Need Advice for My Cousin Who Is Trying to Get Pregnant!

Updated on August 06, 2008
A.B. asks from Plainview, TX
10 answers

hi all

This request is actually for my cousin. She and her husband are newly married, Dec 07, and have decided to start trying for a baby. Well she has beenoff BC for about 2 months now and still no luck. I advised her to try checking her basal temperature every AM and also to invest in an ovulation kit. She has invested in an ovulation kit and still no luck. She has been checking her basal temperature off and on. Plus to add to this craziness, her DH two younger sisters have become pregnant and neither of them is married. I know that this is hard for her bc they did it the right way, by waiting until they were married to have sex, got married and are now wanting a baby so desperately. I need your advice on what to tell her, bc I have not been in that position and am at a loss to tell her. I told her not to concentrate on getting pregnant bc then that concern might be the reason why she is not pregnant yet. She is taking pre natal vitamins, working out in moderation, and eating healthy. She and her DH do not drink or smoke. They are young, 25 so I don't really think its a fertility issue. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated!

A.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all your lovely responses!! I have forwarded all these over to my cousin so hopefully she will find this as encouraging as I have. Thanks again!

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

"Plus to add to this craziness, her DH two younger sisters have become pregnant and neither of them is married. I know that this is hard for her bc they did it the right way, by waiting until they were married to have sex, got married and are now wanting a baby so desperately."

you might want to rethink this. having a baby out of wedlock sometimes is the completely right thing to do. i have one born in wedlock and one out of wedlock. it doesn't make one right and one wrong.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

A woman only has about a 25% chance each month to get pregnant. So many things have to line up exactly for a pregnancy to occur. If she has only been off BC for 2 months, then she needs to be patient. I know that is the hardest advice ever, especially when people around you are popping up pregnant. Most OBs won't even offer any type of fertility assistance until they have been trying for one year.

You may recommend her tracking her cycle using a site like www.fertilityfriend.com. These sites help you know what to watch for and also assist in pin pointing your ovulation day. It may take a few months to recognize the pattern.

Just be supportive, listen to her concerns and before you know it I bet she is pregnant.

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

All of the advice that you have received for you cousin is great and i would just like to add to it .It does take at least 6 months to a year.Make sure that your cousin keeps up on all her OBGYN appoitments talks to her OBGYN about it,takes her pre-natal,eats healthy and her age is on her side as well.If she is haveing a hard time to figure out when the best time for her to try to get pregnant.have her try www.babyzone.com she needs to enter when her period is and from their it will show her month to month on a calander the days that will be for them to
work on getting pregnant and it also gives great advice as well...good luck to both of them..keep us updated

1 mom found this helpful
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P.B.

answers from Tyler on

God will honor their faithfulness. They waited to join in union with one another and God saw. She is taking care of herself and God sees. Tell her that God will give her the desires of her heart. It may not be in her timing, but it will definately be in HIS.

Be blessed and be a blessings to your cousin.

In Christ,

P. <><

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

my reproductive endocrinologist says in general it takes a "healthy, young, 25yo couple" six months to conceive. i would suggest that she get a clear blue easy digital ovulation predictor kit(they're about $30 or $40) so that she can track her ovulation and be sure that they are "trying" at the right time. also, not try TOO MANY times b/c if that is the case, when it is the right time, his little swimmmers may be depleted. tell her to relax and give it a few more months, then go see her ob/gyn to rule anything out. infertility doesn't always have to do with age.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

I second Jodi's recommendation. That book is fabulous! Taking Charge of Your Fertility. All women should read it!

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

I HIGHLY recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Dr. Toni Weschler. It will help her know when she is fertile. I have used this book to both acheive and avoid pregnancy.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I was 3 days off BC when I got pregnant with my first pregnancy. I lost that one pregnancy as well as my right tube due to it being an ectopic. I firmly believe it was because I had only been off the pill 3 days but my OB said that was not even a factor..whatever.

I also tried the propping thing but you know what..bottom line is it is God's choice to bless you with a baby. Pray on it and just don't stress out over it. Stress can also prevent pregnancy so tell her to relax and just enjoy the time with her husband. Once a child enters the picture, it all changes. My husband and I had 5 years as just being a couple before we even thought about having a child.

Again, pray on it and relax. It will happen if it is meant to be.

J. S.

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T.W.

answers from McAllen on

I totally agree with Pamela! God will give her one in his own time. I know I've tried to rush God and it doesn't work. I wouldn't start worrying till after about a year and a half. It's hard but tell her to be patient and pray.

T.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

They definitely need to give it some time - at least 6 mos to a year. It takes a while for the BC to get out of your system if it was the pill. And the window of conception is pretty short time-wise. Every other day is better. I wouldn't tell them to relax, but to enjoy their time together as newlyweds as they try to get pregnant, because once that happens - the WHOLE relationship changes and BOY will they miss the alone time :) LOL!

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