Need Advice for My 5 Year Old

Updated on December 04, 2006
S.H. asks from Syracuse, NY
8 answers

My son has been potty trained since he was 3 years old. We always have had the occasional accident. But for the past two months he has been reverting to always going in his pants. There is no accident about it. He lies about it too which makes it hard. We have tried rewarding him again for going in the toliet but to no avail. Any other suggestions??? Please help!!!

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S.

answers from New York on

I had the exact same thing happen with my 6yr old. What I did is kind of the same as rewarding, but I used a ticket system. He got a ticket every day that he didn't pee in his pants. After one week of tickets he would get a toy (something from the dollar store) If he peed during that week, the tickets would start again from one. He was very excited to tape the tickets on the calander every day that he didn't pee. I had tried many other things that didn't work and this worked for me. Good luck. I know that this is very frustrating.
S.

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K.B.

answers from New York on

Hi S., my 7 year old did the same. She was potty trained at 2 1/2. She was really good and we were really proud at how fast she got it. But by 4-5 years she started doing that. We spoke to ger pediatrician and she told us that she might be doing it to get attention. She has started Pre-K and she was not getting praise as much as before. What we did was when she did it on herself, we will act like nothing happen as if it was normal, but when she'll go in the bathroom we praised her. We put this board and started giving her sticker every time she went. She realized she was not getting attention by doing it on herself, but she was getting praise everytime she went, so she started going all the time in the toilet.
It can be a phase or looking for attention, but if you feel better speak to his ped.

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C.

answers from New York on

Hi,

Just wondered if there have been any changes anywhere he is not dealing with . Anything thing at school or home. Could he be emulating someone. The other thing I might look at is a urinary tract infection. Is it all the time, or only at night? If at night, actually i think day too, you can look for some sleep apnea issues too.

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N.T.

answers from New York on

Hi im N. and i also have a 5 yrs. I think maybe something is wrong maybe having bad dreams or try cutting back at night so he dont have to go or try waking him up im the middle of the night. Or consider talking to a doctor to see why because its a little confusing if he wasnt doing this two years ago and now he's starting back up! Maybe let him sit in it for a while thats what i use to do and my son didn't like the feeling!!!

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D.K.

answers from New York on

Hello My two sons are older now but when My oldest was 3 he was potty trained. We went on vacation and he regressed.
We had to retrain him and then he finally got it. Your son will also get it eventually. Have you interupted his routine?
Gone away for had him stay with someone this may have caused him to regress. I think he just has to get back on rountine again. Lots of luck and you can always reach me at ____@____.com if you like.

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K.J.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
I know how frustrating it can be when they deliberately do things they should not. I suggest that you down play the accidents...clean him up without words or fanfare(no negitive attention). Also,give lots of praise when he is doing it in the potty (positive attention).
If that doesn't work, seek your pediatrician’s advice. 5 years old is kind of old for that. If it's not behavioral, then it might be physical.

Good Luck!
Kimj Kindergarten teacher

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K.D.

answers from New York on

I don't want to freak you out by ANY means, but I do want to mention this just to put it out there. My sister's husband, years ago, was, unbeknownst to her, abusing her son in horrible ways. At that time, he was 5, and he suddenly was going in his pants constantly. Noone could figure out why. Of course this is the worst case scenerio, but it does go to show that often there's an "issue" with a child, if it's not caused by a urinary tract infection or some medical issue. I would dig around and scope out his interactions with people he's with, just to be on the safe side. See if he's reluctant to go with anyone in particular, or to a certain place... just to ease my mind, I'd be investigating his relationships with everyone around him, just to err on the side of caution. Again, not to say this is the case, but god forbid, you want to be sure.... (don't like to be the bearer of bad news per se, but better to be safe....) It could, however, just be a simple thing that's bothering him that he's just not dealing with, or doesn't know how to deal with, that's sending him into this behaviour. Keep digging, mom. Good luck.

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K.B.

answers from New York on

Wow S.!

I'm going through the exact same thing with my son... He's 4 and potty trained but keeps having accidents. One thing that has changed is now his dad doesn't live with us so he doesn't see him everyday. I'm sure that's what it is.

Have there been any changes to your son's daily routine? If so, I would say just be patient. Try not to make a fuss when he does have an 'accident' but reward him when he stays dry. That seems to be working somewhat in my situation (not out of the woods yet).

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