My son is almost 4 1/2 years old and he has been potty trained since he was just over two years old. We took a while to attempt to potty train him at night becuase he is such a heavy sleeper. However, a couple of months ago we started going without pull-ups at night and were successful, as far as I am concerned. We still have accidents here and there but nothing out of the ordinary. I wake him up when I go to bed at about 11 PM and he makes it the rest of the night.
But here is where he has thrown me for a loop. About 2-3 weeks ago he started having accidents at nap quite often, while at pre-school. I have talked the teachers and staff at his school and they have been waking him up to go to the bathroom but have been unscssesfull so far. Then on top of that he has started having more and more accidents, during the day. Yesterday he had one at school and 3 accidents after school.
Nothing else in our lives has changed, that can be linked to the cause. I have made a Doctor's appointment for later in the week but could really use some piece of mind meanwhile. I do not want to punish him if there is something wrong, but if he is just being too lazy to get to the bathroom, then there should be consiquences. I am at such a loss. Any friendly advise would be greatly appreciated.
After getting a few responces I wanted to make some things clear. He is in pre-school only until about 3ish. He is normally picked up when his sister is picked up from school. He will not be going into kindergarden next year becuase of when his birthday falls, if he were going to pubic school it would be a decision we would hav eto make but the private school that he and his sister attend has a later cut off date and he does not make it. They have several scheduled potty times at his school, and since it has become a problem they have even been waking him up at nap to go. This is something that I have discussed and followed up with them. He has been going there nearly a year and this is a very recent issues so I know that is not the cause. His accidents do NOT mostly happen at school either. The day he had 4, one was at school, 2 were at Nana's house when Daddy and everyone was there and the fouth was at home just before dinner. And we already make him go even when he says he doesn't have to. He will go some and then still pee his pants a few minutes later. I HAVE TIRED ALL OF THE OBVIOUS REMEDIES. We do limit his fluid intake in the evening and he does well at night with one wake up. I will NOT however limit his fliud in-take all day, that is not a healty remidy in my eyes. He drinks a healthy but not excessive amount of liquid throughout the day.
Well like I suspected it’s neither emotional nor, behavioral. It is medical. It is due to constipation. His Dr. said that not only are his large bowels (which he has not had trouble passing other than the occasional grunt, or complaining of lower back pain 2x for a few hours each-which I attributed to growing pains) taking up the space in that area so to say but it throws off the alignment. When things shift it causes him to go just a little bit and that is sometimes followed by a reflex of emptying his bladder. In other words he did NOT know that he had to go and other wise would not have if things and not shifted or squeezed just a little bit out. It explains him having to go again only a few minutes after he has gone as well as many of the other symptoms.
I have to give him an enema for three days then followed by Miralax for two months. We will be keeping records of his bowels and accidents. Say a prayer for us and Thank You so much for all of your kind responses. It’s always great to know that you are not alone.
It's all about control. If he feels like every part of his life is controlled that might be a big part of it.
Maybe ask him if he has had any strnage interactions with adults? YOU NEVER KNOW? It's a scary place out there.
My daughter is ding the samething right now. She is almost 3 1/2 and has been trained for about a year just these last 2 weeks shes been having accidents about 3 times a day. The best I can figure out is that she doesn't want to stop playing. What makes it worse is that she doesn't tell me. I just happen to notice them. Sorry i cant give you any advice but just support and making you aware that your know that your not the only one dealing with this :)
Hi!
I can just say that I have experienced something similar with my 3.5 year old. I have tried to not make a big deal out it. I have put the alarm on again so that I remind him every hour and then I insist on that he goes together with me to the bathroom. (I would ask if he needed to go, he said no and then he peed on the floor one minute later.)
He is really happy in school, life is moving very smoothly right now, so we don't know why he does this.
I even bribed him on Monday, I told him that every time that day that he went to the bathroom and not peed in his pants he would get a candy. (Wrong I know, but it worked.)
And yesterday he did fine all day long. So I just think it is temporary.
Hang in there
A.
My guess is that the sudden change is due to a growth spurt. When children (especially boys) go through growth spurts, their bodies grow faster than their bladders. They will have accidents for awhile until their bladder catches up. My son has been through this a few times -- he is just over 4 years old. You're wise to see a doctor, and hopefully he/she will agree that you don't need to do anything or intervene in any way to "cure" something that will clear up on its own.
still working on no accidents with my four year old. but she has accidents at home during the day because she doesn't want to stop what she is doing. night time is just cutting her off from fluids.. but it's hard for me to do that. let me know what the doc says. i'd be very interested to know what they tell you.
Hi C. and Kimberly,
Bladder infections are very common in preschool age children. One reason is because they are busy playing with their friends and toys can be taken away by other children while they are using the potty, so they hold it longer than they should. The other is out of pride and when asked to go potty they don't even though they may have to go at the time because they want to be a "big girl/boy" and remember to go by themselves on their own.
They are also very hard to diagnose at home at this age. Children identify the burning feeling of a bladder infection as the same feeling as when they hold it and push back the urge to go. And when they go in their pants the odor is not as strong as if they were to go in the toilet. The not wanting to tell mommy they had an accident is partly due to the sheer surprise to themselves that it happen as the urge to go is followed immediately by going.
You can simply ask your kids to pee in a cup, paper or clean plastic, and take it into the pediatrician’s office for analysis. They may still want to see the child once it is found, but that way if it is not a bladder infection you can rule that out without a Dr. apt.
Good luck and I hope it is just that simple!!
Hi C.,
My first guess would be bacteria in his bladder that is irritating it. or, I wonder if it could be something he is drinking that is acidic and causing irritation to the bladder ? I know that sounds weird but I have learned that the body reacts so much to things and we don't know it's signals. Keeping a diary will help identify some things. Keep the time he eats and drinks,what he drinks, ,urinates (both in his bed and in the potty)other symptoms that seem unrelated, everything. You'll be amazed at the patterns you see cropping up. You might see that his potty accidents happen when he drinks more liquid or a certain kind. Maybe his bladder is small or ultra sensitive and has a small amount of bacteria irritating it.
I've run the gauntlet on urinary problems with my child. My daughter was in and out of the doctors for months and months, over a period of 6 years. She would have different symptoms at different times like pain on urinating, stomach aches, accidents and even rashes on her monz. But it started with potty accidents and a weird smell to her urine. In the first year of the problem starting my daughter never was a complainer so she never let on some of her symptoms. As the problems progressed over the months our communication got better about it and she would offer that she had a stomache ache, ect. On different visits the doctor would say she didn't have a UTI. I would pressure them on information on test results because I knew the symptoms and i could see that she indeed had something going on. They would say: because the blood in the urine or the bacterial count wasn't high enough to justify a full blown infection ( Her culture showed 40,000 of streptococcus! Not enough?) and they would tell me her urine must of got contaminated when it was drawn because if she was "infected" iyt would be higher. a month later, bam! Now reistering a full blown infection. It took about 2-4 months for the bacteria to "grow" to a point where they would finally register it and give her a new dose of antibiotic. Every 4 months she was on another antibacterial. In between those times I saw all the weird symptoms "growing", and only because I kept a diary could i see the pattern and I could "see" the body reacting with symptoms. So, what I learned over the years is, YES, your bladder can harbor bacteria that can cause irritation and weird symptoms and the doctor still won't label it a UTI unless it is a "blowout" infection. Ask your son if he ever has stomach aches, lower back aches, or pressure after urinating, any itching, pain in hips, rashes in that area, hot skin in that area, peeing small amounts when peeing and peeing frequently, burning, and the obvious one to our eyes is potty accidents becoming more frequent.
I finally started putting my daughter on oregano 1x, Caprylic acid, 3 caps, 3 times day, and Cod liver oil, 3x day, "Clear tract"-(cranberry alternative),probitics and lots of water.
After 6 years of antibacterials I finally got control of the bacterial growth inside her body. I would reccommend Caprylic acid, oregano, and cod liver oil as a supplement to everyone , regardless, It just maintains good unrinary health.
God Bless.
I had the same problem with my daughter when she was 4. It went on for about 6-7 months. We tried everything! Charts w/ rewards for doing a good job and when that didn't work we went to the other end of the spectrum and punished her. We also set a timer and made her stop whatever she was doing and go to the bathroom. I had her checked out by the doctor and there didn't appear to be a physical reason for it. She would tell me she didn't want to miss out on anything. She was holding it for as long as she could and then wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom. Needless to say, it was extremely frustrating! Then one day her preschool teacher told me to just act indifferent to it. Don't praise if she does good and don't freak out if she has an accident. So that's what I did and it stopped!! It appears that it was a control thing and when she didn't get anything out of me, it was pointless. She is doing great now! So that's our story, I hope it's helpful. You are not alone, that is for sure! :-)
this sounds like there is an emotional element going on.
I would look deeper at what may be going on emotionally for him.
It does not seem normal to have accidents out of the blue and so frequent.
I would gently get in touch with him and see what may be troubling him emotionally.
Please do not punish him.
Take that time to connect and i am sure mama can help!
Healthy Blessings
I don't really have any advice, but I have experienced the same thing with my 4 year old son. I have twins - boy and girl - and this is not a problem with my girl. Both have been potty trained for over a year. I have just chalked it up to gender differences. I agree with others that he's probably just too busy to go. I have gotten to the point where I can tell when he needs to go, and even when I ask him if he has to, he says "no". If I don't make him go anyway, he'll pee in his pants 5 minutes later! I have reassured him that his book/train/toy will still be there when he gets back and usually that helps him stop what he's doing and go to the bathroom, but not always. It's very frustrating. I consider it a phase.
Hello C.,
I just have a quick question in regards to your son. Has anything changed at the school? Have you spoken to him about anything that maybe bothering him? I have a daughter that is still dealing with that and she is now 6. We found out that there were some problems at her babysitter's house. Also, something to ask the doctor about - because he is growing could his bladder not be growing also, and the flap (as I called) that opens and closes from the bladder to the area that it's going to come out, is that fully shutting. Just some ideas for you.
I am also a daughter in Christ. Have a blessed day and I will be praying for your son.
Mollika G
limit is intake of fluids a bit and take him to the bathroom every hour. Dont ask him if he needs to go judt take him anyway. At night or nap put a large waterproof pad on his bed. He will get tired of being wet. Good luck this is one of the toughest times being a parent.
You may need to find out more of what his school life is really like?
R.
It's great that you are going to see the doctor but my now 6-year old would have days like that where he'd just empty his underwear drawer one day. He was just too busy to go -- too busy playing, or playing a computer game, or watching TV. So, it might just be something like that. All the same, it can't hurt to get the pediatrician's opinion. If nothing is wrong, he/she can talk to him about listening to his body and not waiting. The Authority Figure might make an impression.
C.,
When you go to the doctor, please ask him to check for a urinary track infection. I know that they are not as common for boys as young girls, but when my daughter started having multiple accidents after having been potty trained for over a year, I happened to be at the pediatrician's office for a routine visit for my younger daughter. I mentioned the accidents and that we figured they were for attention. He said that it is unusual to start having accidents after having been trained for a long time and wanted to check for a UTI. I didn't think it was necessary since she never complained of pain when she peed, but it turned out she did have a mild UTI. The moment we started the antibiotic to treat the UTI, the accidents stopped. I felt so guilty having thought she was having the accidents on purpose. Even a mild UTI can make it very hard for little ones to control their bladders and they obviously don't have the knowledge of their bodies that we do to be able to tell us that something is wrong. Plus, the multiple accidents in one day and the accidents right after he has already peed sound so familiar. This may not be the answer, but you said that you were going to the doctor and it is a very easy test to do. Good luck!
I had a similar issue with my dd at 4.5. She was potty traind at 25 months and never had an accident not even at night...until I sent her to preschool 2 days a week. I still do not know what was going on there but after having four accidents at school and no one being able to tell me about the circumstances that led up to the accident I finally pulled her out of preschool...losing 2 weeks tuition but I couldn't stand that something was going on there that affecting her that much. As soon as I pulled her out she never had another accident. I'm not sure how to help you other than to relate my experience. Best Wishes for you and yours.
I have an almost 4 year old who is so proud of his independence, part of that comes with the fact that he is and has been potty trained since he was just over 2, as well. I can't imagine that your son is doing this out of laziness or defiance. Has anyone at school been talking about next year and kindergarten? Or summer break? Maybe that is making him nervous?
My son has had a few accidents (like 3) since he was potty trained, and we just didn't make a fuss over them, and they've been isolated. It is possible that he had a long day, had an accident, and now he's so worried, he's having more?
Best of luck. I'm sure this is just a phase.
Hi C.,
Well, boys bladders sometimes need to "catchup" with the boy, is what I've learned as a mother of boys. BUT, this does seem like a little too much regression. I wouldn't do any punishing about it, you could make it worse. You work FT, does the daycare handle it according to your request? Daycare is where he is during the day, and this is where it is happening mostly. The problem could be your daycare. Maybe their routine has changed. I remember at my son's daycare and preschool's, there were several certain times that EVERYBODY went potty/changed diapers. This way nobody was "forgotten" and they all have plenty of chances to go in case they were "too busy" to go the first time :o) Then, as they get older, they can make their own decision to become ready for Kindergarten. Maybe he's not ready for that independence yet, and needs to be in the Potty routine still. I would ask your preschool how that works (if you don't already know). Maybe they don't have a routine "potty" time.
My youngest boy did regress when he was 4, too, but it wasn't as much as your son. I thought it was understandable because he was sick and had diarreah in his favorite Spiderman underwear, so he was afraid he would do it again if he wore them. 3 months later he was back on track, but that was a major setback for us. Still he was "potty perfect" when he started Kindergarten this year.
Point is, I think regression is somewhat normal for boys/kids that potty trained before 3. So, that I wouldn't worry about unless you think something is wrong at preschool.
Good luck to you.
:o) N.
