This is not the sort of problem that can be sorted out as it unfolds. It's hard to know from this one description of this one event, but it sounds to me like there are power issues in your marriage, and this could be passive-aggressive behavior on your husband's part.
It is reasonable for you to feel upset about it. You prepared for the party with lots of work and enthusiasm. You have a considerable emotional investment. This day did not go as happily as you had planned, and you are worried about your daughter's feelings, and possibly also what the guests think about it.
Here's the part you may not want to hear:
It may also be reasonable for your husband to behave as he did, from HIS point of view. Perhaps he is unduly tired, perhaps he's coming down with something, perhaps he's had his emotional stuffing recently kicked out by work or home issues. And there are guys with relatively shallow emotional capacities (but who can be quite functional spouses/fathers in other ways) who will NEVER get why some sorts of events are important to women. Some coaching may be possible, but you can't change a canvas backpack into a Gucci handbag. It will never happen.
Your daughter (how old is she?) may not make anything traumatic out of her dad's lack of participation. She may simply assume that her dad shows his love for her in other ways, which may be satisfying for her. If you make an issue of it, there is a risk of making your daughter quite unhappy about what was otherwise a fun day for her. And she could feel your unhappiness is somehow her fault, because it's about her party.
Two suggestions: Read some of the great books about emotional/psychological types that can help you accept each other's differences with less drama. One terrific one is Please Understand Me, by Keirsey and Bates. Here's an impressive list of positive reviews: http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Me-Character-Temp...
Also consider investigating Non-Violent Communication. This is a well-established, practical and positive tool for deepening the respect and understanding in any relationship. You can google this for descriptions, examples, books, videos, and classes. Though only one person using it can transform a difficult relationship, my husband and I have both learned this effective process, and found it transformational in our understanding of ourselves, as well.