So here it goes. I will try to make this as simple as I could to understand
I am also doing this by my phone so don't mind any typos. Lol. My husband and have been fighting since the
Beginning of the month. It started out with his son behavior ( he has two kids of his own ) he is in first grade and was
Behind in getting to school because his mom DIDNT take time to put in school.
I have gotten sick of him missing his education and took him to the doctor
Myself to get his shots so I can enroll him in. He is seven and little bother is three. Mind you when they pulled up his records
He was behind abd needed 6 shots to get caught up. Poor thing. Anyhow that was last summer. He is doing well now.
His school been giving him spelling test lately and because his dad doubted him. Dad said he would give him a $100 LEGO toy if he gets it all right. Of course he did. Now he is demanding it every week. Too young for that.
Next problem. My fiance has a secert phone that I found. I saw a piece of paper with the number on it. Then when confronted him about it he said because when fought the last time I took his phone away so he had to get another phone for work. Well we are good now but he still won't give up that phone. Claiming its for work. He doesn't even bring the phone home. He leaves it at work. He also been very selfish lately. Just want me time to himself and to play game. Went crazy buying all kinds
Of games . Psp go . Holds his own money. I usually hold the money because of that reason. I think he is cheating but not sure. Don't wanna spend money on a pi .
His lies are getting to me tho. I just found out he is running from a bank because he still owes for it . Somehow the bank found my work number and called me looking for him. I was told by him that the car was paid off. He lied. So much is going on and I just don't know what to to anymore.
Sounds as if you ahve a lot going on. Have you thought of just asking him if he has someone on the side and noting his reaction? If he wants to know why you think that try being up front. Don't play games. Somebody here needs to be up front or suspicion is going to raise it's uncomfortably ugly head again and again :( Good luck.
In the first paragraph you say your "husband", later you say "my fiance", which is it? Are you engaged? Do you have a wedding date set? Why are you playing mommy to kids that are not yours? You could get into some very serious trouble for giving medical care when your not authorized.
If your not married, it's time to run as fast as you possibly can away from this relationship. If you are married, then it's time for a divorce.
L., I'm sure you love your fiance a lot... but you need to leave (and don't look back). This is hard to tell someone, but he's not going to change. All these things that you listed will just continue over & over & over!! Do you really want to live your life like that? There are so many great guys out there.... DON'T ever settle for less
good luck... keep us posted
toni
Is he your fiance? If he is my advice is to get out of this relationship.
Take care of yourself and know this you are a strong woman and do not need a man in your life to direct you and tell you how and when to do anything.
About the children, if she is behind on the shots and they are not your step children if you are not married to the father then call the authorities and report them. I believe in most states the children are to be in school by 7.
You may love these children but they are not yours and if you can't truest their father why stay in the relationship.
I feel so sorry for the ones caught in the middle.
I don't know if this is your husband or fiance but whichever one either confront him and tell him that you two need to have a talk or you are leaving the relationship. Be upfront. Tell him that you are not going to accept this and he needs to come clean about everything. Then you can decide if you even want to deal with any of it. Also, your (the) kids should not get rewards for doing school work correctly. This should be the given. They should work hard at school just because they should. Maybe an end of the year treat for a job well done but other than that chores or school should not be rewarded. You sound like the stableness in the family, don't settle for less-YOU are worth the best!
OK, L.--in a few paragraphs this man has changed from your 'husband' to your 'fiance'--which is it? Or is it "boyfriend"?
If you're not married, you need to think long and hard about what you want and what you're doing. To yourself and to the kids. The don't need a "pretend" mommy. They're most likely already bonded with you.
From what you've said about him, he's got too many secrets for a man with any type of a commitment. Sad thing is, now the kids get to experience another loss. At 7 and 3. How sad. Good luck.
Well, you aren't even married to this man and the relationship is this sour?! Pack up and leave. A liar and a cheater will never change. You have got a sweet personality and you are taking care of his kids. It is a sad situation that parents can not take enough responsibility to keep the kid up on his shots. I am sure you are upset about everything the boys are going through but you need to think about yourself. Once you marry him the bank will be after you. You can't love someone you can't trust!
L. - since you are asking for advice, here goes. Assuming the guy you refer to as your husband is the same as the fiance, I would take a serious look at whether you want to marry this guy. If he is not truthful with you now about money and you question whether he is cheating or not, do you think marrying him will make any of this go away? If he owes money from his past and is hiding from paying up, it will become YOUR problem if you marry him. What does hiding from his debts say about his character? Hoping the best in folks that he isn't cheating, are you willing to live with his current behavior for the next 50 years? Sorry if I sound harsh, but my own experiences tell me that you should think about this hard before marrying this guy.
Did you just document in writing that you took a child that is not your own to get shots without parental consent?!?!?!? What makes you think you had the authority to get him 6 shots at once? No matter what you think of the mom, this is not acceptable. This is the MOTHER'S choice- do you know if he had reactions to previous shots- are you an expert on his medical history or allergies. Please post your clinic's name or Dr, and I will report you IMMEDIATELY.
Why are you talking about husband then fiance? What is your marriage status and what are your custody rights?
I am sorry to ask this but as it is written your post sounds like you are in a bad situation and making it worse, and even worse the child is not getting appropriate care because of it. Please refine your post or else expect some answers that show concern for the child and this wacko situation.
Please seek therapy.
Hi Linda,
You're the only person who has the answers to your concerns. If you just read your post you'll see your answer, and you'll know what you need to do. No one know the situation better than you do. You need to trust your instinct, you need to believe in yourself, and you need to know you deserve the best. Don't get me wrong, the best may be your fiance, but the above issues won't go away if not adressed, but it's up to you if you want to do the work. All of the above can be resolved, and you could come out a stronger person, but it takes being the change and taking a stand for yourlsef and perhaps his son to make a difference.
I wish you all the love and courage! Here's to you and your better life!
S.
