Need Advice - York, PA

Bring it up!! Deal with it now and get it over with... if she is short and can't pay you for some reason make arrangements for her to pay you extra each week until she is paid up what ever you both agree on, but don't just let it go because that is what is going to cause family problems. If for some reason it cannot be worked out tell her she can forget the money she owes you but she has to find someone else to watch you neice because you don't want to have that situation in the middle of family....

good luck

I would let another week go by and see if she pays. If not, I would tell her that she'll have to start looking for someone else because you can't do it for free and watcch how quick she comes up with the money. It's awkward but you need to nip it in the bud. Can you e-mail her and ask for it? if not leave her a little note reminder or something.

K., I watched my nephew who is now 1 1/2 yrs old from 6 mos to 18 mos old. I had my first baby when my nephew was just a year old. I also watched him 3 days a week, so my situation was quite similar to yours. There were often times when my brother-in-law would forget to bring a check or would just forget to pay me. I would always call either later that night or the next day and tell them that they forgot and figure out when and how they could get the money to me. That income was very essential to our household and I made it clear to them that this arrangement needed to be treated as a business transaction because of that. The way that I looked at it; if I had been watching someone's child that was not family - I would definitely be making sure that I was getting my payment every week. I think it is important to look at it as a job and be clear with your sister-in-law that this is the case. I hope that this was helpful.

this is the first time she's failed to pay you ?

Relax. She may have had a lot on her mind, and simply forgot. Just give her a buzz, with a smile on your face and in your voice, and ask her if she could bring your check when she brings your niece next week.

If this were a chronic issue, it might be worth getting worked up over, but it's the first time. Everyone goofs from time to time. I have sometimes picked my kids up from daycare only to realize I didn't even have my checkbook with me.

If she has been paying you every week so far, I would ask her if everything was ok. Just say that since she hasn't been able to get you her check yet, you wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong. (Like car broke down and had to pay to fix it, or some thing like that) Go from there. I know in my house some weeks are harder than others to make the money go everywhere it needs to be. Hope that helps.

Jen

Like you said, it is very possible that she forgot. I would just remind her that she forgot to pay you. If she made the agreement with you, she shouldn't get upset about you reminding her about it. I hope this helps.

I know it's hard because it's family, but you have to nip it in the bud now. If you let it go too long, you start to have an attitude, and the situation just gets worse.
I don't know what to tell you to say, but you have to say something. Good Kuck

Just call & ask her. Prolonging it will only cause hard feelings. maybe she just forgot her checkbook or something. Just explain that you need to count on a steady "pay day" to cover your bills unless you guys make other arrangements. Good luck.

i babysit my nephew and this has happened to me..i want to help my brother but i also am doing it to make a few bucks. you need to face it straight on the 1st time it happens and remember it is a business..tell them if you could do it for free you would but you count on the money each week..and remember you are probably saving them money and day care wouldnt tolerate it..it may have just slipped their minds.since it is friday call or email todays total..and ask if she is to be late to just let you know so you can keep track..nip it in the butt in the beginning and hope they just lost track..good luck..i am texting my brother now for his balance for the past three weeks...so he can have a check ready..good luck and treat it like a business you work hard and deserve your pay...T.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt first, but simply ask her if she forgot to pay you, and just ask her when she'd be able to pay. She may have forgotten or may be a bit short on cash and is embarrassed to say. If it's financial, just work out how to catch up. If she simply forgot, then she'll write a check out right then or the next time you see her. But just start it out on a light note, assuming that she forgot. If she's having financial problem, you'll have to work it out with her on payments, but do let her know that you are tight on money as well and if there's a real problem that she may need to come up with an alternative sitter.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

Maybe just put a little note in your nieces bag or lunch box? Let her know you need to know if she is changing the payment arrangements b/c you rely on this money.
I know I'd feel uncomfotable as well, but you deserve to be paid!
Maybe she just forgot, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Good luck!

How about saying something like "Can you do me a favor? The check for this week - instead of writing it to me, can you make it out to Visa so I can send it straight out in the bill envelope rather than depositing it in the bank?" Something along the lines of not asking "Where the heck is it?!" but "When you give it to me this week, can you do this with it". Maybe call her today and do that so it is still within the week time frame and you won't feel so funny. Very matter of fact. You could also ask what is better for her, to give her deposit slips and she makes the weekly deposit, or just continue to write you checks. I'd love you not to feel funny (though I know it is difficult!!) as good babysitters are HARD to find!!!! Good Luck!

My advice is to start of with just a quick phone call. It may be just that she forgot to give you the check, she forgot her checkbook at home or that she didn't get her check deposited (if she doesn't have direct deposit). I would give her a call and say "Hey, I realized after you left yesterday that you forgot to give me a check for the childcare. I was hoping to pick up a few things at the store (whether groceries or whatever OR alternatively mail a check for a bill) this weekend. Can I stop by and pick it up so I can deposit it on my way to the store?"

This opens it up in a nice way and puts it on her to explain why she hasn't given you the check if it was intentional. It also allows her to broach the subject easier if it was an accident knowing that you are open to listen to an apology and not harboring ill feelings if it was an accident.

Where you would go if it was intentional is kind of up to you. But this approach would put it out there in a way that is not judgmental and allows for further discussion.

I know (from personal experience) dealing with friends or family in an employee fashion can be kind of tough and can sometimes force you to choose between forcing an issue with receiving what you are due or letting it go for the sake of family/friendship. However, you won't know if you are in that type of situation for sure until you know why she hasn't given you the money and whether or not she IS going to give you the money.

Good luck. I hope it was just overlooked/forgotten by her and not a true problem.

I would just drop a hint to her by telling her that the extra money that you get from her is greatly appricated, that you get to buy little extras that you couldnt before. That way you not coming right out and asking but still getting the hint out there.

If you feel weird about it then have your husband do it, if its his sister. And he can mention it while talking but not make it sound like its coming from you. Does she usually mail it or hand it to you? If she mails it maybe it got lost in mail, it happens you know. I husband is a painting contractor and therefore his payment is usually through personal checks and they sometimes get mailed, so he too goes through the same dilemma. there are times when he is expecting a check that we need and it hasn't come yet but he struggles with the decision on whether to call without hounding the customer. Anyway usually we wait an extra day or two and it comes or he will call and say I know you mentioned that you sent out the check and I didn't yet recieve it just wanted to make sure it didn't get lost in the mail. There have been times when the customers life has been crazy and they honestly forgot or its its sitting on their desk waiting to be mailed or something.
If you don't want to involve your husband then, given its been a couple days i would call her and say I always receive your check by so and so date, but this week it didn't come wanted to make sure it didn't get lost in the mail, make it like you're concerned about the check she wrote and it being lost, instead accusing her of not paying you. If she never did this before then its probably going to be an honest mistake, I wouldn't worry about it! Maybe in the future you should make receipts, even if they're printed from the computer. If she is handing you the check then you could have one ready for when she comes to pick up her daughter and so it will be kind of a paper reminder without you necessarily having to say anything. Just tell her that you wanted to have them together for your records and tax season. Make sure you make a copy for yourself also and write the date and check number on both copies with paid. Good luck J.

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I have been on the other end of this. My sister-in-law watches by daughter and we pay her every other week. My husband drops her off and he would consistently forget to bring her a check. We always felt terrible when we would forget. But, my sister-in-law would always ask us for it which she should.

Anyway, to resolve the problem, my husband now leaves blank checks in his wallet, and then she will remind him when it's a pay week and he can pay her right then.

So, really, just go ahead and ask. It probably just slipped her mind. She's probably off a week or something.

Hi K.,
I would not be worried about asking her - we all forget things, especially new mommies. I think you will find that she is embarrased and it won't happen again. The situation will get worse the longer you let it go - I would just say something nice and honest and direct, like "oh, did you happen to get a chance to write a check for me this week, and is each week payment still a good set up for you?" Just think how you would feel - I would totally be ok if someone said that to me and I would totally be ok saying that to someone.
I hope it goes well - I think you will be suprised!
Patty G

K. H Why dont you try saying something like was there a problem with payment this week and see where it goes from there. Good Luck......