Asking for Money After 3 Years

I see how this could be confusing. But I'd pay. You did owe her the money for services received, and you don't remember paying her with cash. There's at least a good chance that she never did get paid. Teenagers have a lot going on, may track their finances loosely (my daughter, as a teen, would lend money and forget to get it back).

It sounds like it's the girl's mom who's doing the asking. The girl probably realizes how awkward it would be to ask you after all this time.

I'd pay.

I would just pay her the $70.00.

And I don't think it's rude of her to ask if you would pay her...she was only 16 at the time and she did work and earn that money right?

Everyone loves finding money!

~Now I don't mean to be rude....but...I can not stand it when people always assume the worst in other people...all the time, right off the bat...just so not nice! I highly doubt that both her and her Mother are out to scam you out of a whopping $70.00.

This is so tough...but I think I would probably bite the bullet and pay her again...especially since I didn't remember...who remembers anything after having children...but I think I would pay her again...

The best question is who takes 3 years to clean out their couch...eck

give her the $$$ and take the check back...
Since you can't remember what the situation was there is no real way to know for sure. It may have been a lost check in a couch... I doubt they would hold onto an old check for 3 years just to cheat you into paying again... Better to give them the benefit of the doubt and pay twice than to realize years later that you with held the money and she really did earn it and not get paid... Makes for a clear concious and good neighbor relationships...

I once found a check from a place of business that I had been paid 2 years earlier. It really surprised me that I had never cashed it! I wasn't living paycheck to paycheck, and I usually deal with direct deposit. I don't know how that check slipped through the cracks. I don't think it happens often, but this kind of mistake can happen to anyone once.

Because I was working for an actual business and had received W2s and most likely paid taxes on that income, I wrote to the state I was living in (had been working in) and sent them the check, and they issued me a new check. So even though it was 2 years later, I did get my money. Your situation is slightly different - I doubt this girl pays taxes on her income. You probably aren't obligated to make sure she gets paid. However, in order to keep the peace in the neighborhood, I personally would pay her. She lost 3 years of interest on that money, and she did do the work for it. I think, since you say you are anal about balancing your checkbook, that if she had told you she lost the check, you probably would have written it down in your checkbook or canceled the check or at least made a mental note that that check was lost. So it seems unlikely that you ever gave her cash, meaning that she probably did $70 worth of work without ever being paid for it (through no fault of yours, though). I think this was just a teenager being irresponsible, and if you don't pay her, you run the risk of some bad blood in the neighborhood. Good luck.

I would give her the cash. Ask for the uncashed check back for your "files."

I would pay her-- we as adults make mistakes.. and just imagine if your child is one day in her shoes.. Take it as a double positive-- you will make ahappy teen- who may be a babysitter again and have no bad blood in the neighborhood. And also, if you didnt jot down that you gave her cash for a 'lost check' then maybe she was never paid for it..... chances are she just forgot to cash it and maybe she needs the money now!!

Why is it rude? Wouldn't you do the same thing if you were that age? Just give her a new check and ask for the old one back. She is not asking you for money three years later, you have already paid her, she just didn't cash the check. She is just letting you know she came across this check that you gave her. I think you are being a bit petty here, she is only a teenager, give her a break!

Was it rude? Maybe.
But I think it would be really nice of you just to give her the money. I mean she earned it back then, and even though you paid her and ot was her responsibility to cash the check, it would just be a really nice thing of you to just give her the money now...
Think of all the good karma coming your way and maybe she will pay it forward (or back to you in the future).
Good luck!

What's rude about it? It obviously wasn't cashed and she worked for it. Cut her some slack. Ask for the check back, and give her cash. Remember, they are your neighbors :)

Do you really think you paid her cash when you JUST found out about the check? Having said that, what did you do when the check sat uncashed in your checkbook for a number of months? I have to agree, even though it is her fault for forgetting to cash the check, it is still an unpaid debt. Please, as an adult I have put checks aside to cash and forgotten about them. I'm in my 30's and my mother automatically puts cash in our account now for gifts and then just tells me she did that because she knows it's hit or miss if I cash the check or when. It isn't that we can't use the money or don't appreciate it. Just having direct deposit, I rarely deal with banks directly anymore so I put it aside for one day when I can put the bank on my errand list but then sometimes forget. Personally I don't understand what you are getting so worked up about. It isn't like you lost the $70 the first time around and now you are going to have to be out $70 again. Is it worth causing trouble in the relationship over it? I would deal directly with the girl though...

When ever you pay someone cash you should get a receipt. I would give her the 70.00 it is obvious she didn't get paid. You didn't give her cash, you didn't even know until recently that she never cashed the check back then, so why would you have given her the cash back then, that doesn't even make sence. I would pay her. J.

I think is immature, I think asking you once is ok. But twice and to your hubby, hmmm, pushy.
The 16 year old girl should have be responsible with her money and take it as a learning experience. The daughter should have been the one asking you and not the mother, another sign of being irresponsible.
I think you should pay since she did the job, you are neighbors, and you may need her one day, but make sure you get the old one back.
I hope the daughter at least be the one that comes and get it and thanks you.
EDIT: I didn't mean to say that Kristy should take it as a learning experience, I said that the girl should learn to be more responsible with money.

With most banks, checks are no good after 6 months. I just learned this with a little $4.00 refund check from our PTA :) I forgot all about it until I was a memeber of the end-of-year PTA book audit and we saw that the check had not cleared! The out-going Treasurer said to try to cash it and if the bank wouldn't do it, to ask th new Treasurer when school starts. I am keeping the check until then and will turn over the check to them at the time.

As far as paying her or not, I would go ahead and pay her since you don't remember paying her. You also don't remember NOT paying her. You say you are meticulous about your bills. Most people like that do remember even if they don't have a receipt. My husband is like that, I'm not ~ I need receipts :). From now on, if a check hasn't cleared within ONE month, contact the payee and find out why. They can come back to you for repayment of old uncashed checks in many, but not all, cases. Handle it from there and decide what to do to get them paid and your debt cleared. Yes, a babysitter fee is a debt until it is paid.

I would deal directly with the teen because it is HER situation. It is not the mom's place to ask you for the money because the teen is now about 19 and should handle this on her own. You can help her with standing up for herself by treating her as an adult and fairly.

Others mentioned making it a "learning lesson" for the teen. I would take it as a learning lesson for myself, too. You said they gave you the check back? Pay THE TEEN, not the mom, and ask the TEEN to sign a receipt saying that she was paid and is up-to-date as of the date of signing the receipt or "balance paid in full for services provided between such-and-such date and such-and-such date" or "payment for such-and-such check". If you can, type up the receipt on the computer and print two exact copies, then both of you physically sign BOTH copies and then each of you gets a copy. Have the receipts ready at the time of giving her the cash for both of you to sign. Do not sign your name until she is present and witnesses it. If you want to write a check, then write it out and then take her to your bank and let her cash it right there. Write in the memo that it is for "payment in full for Check #XXXX". The new check will be your receipt that she accepted the payment for the old check as soon as she endorses and cashes it and you won't need to print and sign a receipt, but you'll need to get a copy of both sides of the check or the check itself from the bank to show proof that she cashed it. She is about 19 now, so a receipt signed by her or the cashed new check is legal.

It could be wrong of her mother to ask you for the money unless her daughter is too embarrassed or shy to ask you yourself. If her daughter asked her to talk to you, then don't be angry at the mom for acting on behalf of her daughter. I would try to help my kids, too, but based on your situation I will try to just be present to support my daughter if this ever happens to her, not actually do it FOR her :)

Good Luck.

You paid her, you gave her the check, and possibly the cash as well. You have no obligation to pay her again. She has to learn to be responsible for her own money. This will be a good learning experience for her. I think the person who said it should be a learning experience for you is wrong, you did what you were supposed to, you paid for services rendered, it is not your responsibility to walk her to the bank to cash it. I would just tell the mom that you are sorry, but you paid the fee 3 years ago and you consider the matter settled. But be prepared, it may cause some bad blood for a while, so you have to decide it you want to be right or have peace with the neighbor.

Is it rude...maybe. Did she work for it, yes. You cannot remember, you gave her a check. Are you in the habit of paying twice, why would you give her a check and cash. I would laugh it off and just give the girl the money. What harm is it anyway. So she was irresponsible and they dont clean under the cushions much! LOL!!
You are neighbors so for the sake of being friendly and nice, you should pay the girl.

Kristy,
I saw give her another check. She worked for the money. And if you did give her the cash back then b/c she thought she lost the check, it's not the end of the world. Not like it's $700. She's young.
H.

honestly, they're your neighbors and you don't want bad blood. their request is kind of offensive but nonetheless the request has been made. it's your call but i would go ahead and pay her, and make sure you tell the teenager that you would have not done this for anyone else because 3 years have passed, and you just don't remember. but go ahead and pay her.

Pay her ... but get a receipt. In this age of direct deposit and debit cards, i know that I have misplaced more than one check over the last few years. Never in a couch seat, but who knows.

Just pay the $70 and for any babysitting she does from this point forward, just pay her cash. As others have stated, I would absolutely ONLY deal directly with the young lady, not her mom. That way everything is crystal clear between the two of you.

It's very easy for kids to forget money, actually. You must not be around many teens. I am, and I know they are very scattered-brain, almost ADD-like compared to someone as organized as myself, and they can EASILY get distracted and forget about things. I have seen kids lose valuable gifts like expensive watches in their bedroom underneath their piles of clothes and other mess so yes, it is VERY easy for a kid to lose money and forget. I have even seen kids forget wallets and remember about them days after, only after having gotten pulled over or needing their ID for a club admission. I think you should pay her, as the check was never cashed. If you think you gave her cash, you should have kept some form of written record (Paid blahblah $70 to replace lost check for work done between x and x) and VOIDED the check; that way you'd know the check was cancelled BECAUSE it was lost and you gave her cash instead and the responsibility of paying her was taken care of. Why wasn't the check voided? That to me would say you intended to pay her via check and she forgot to cash the check, forgot about the check, and so you forgot to void the check and she never got paid. I'd use this as a learning lesson for YOURSELF AND the teen. Whenever you give someone a check and they lose it, either void it and pay them cash immediately so you know you took care of payment, or if it the check isn't voided, assume you did NOT pay that person either through check or cash, and keep better records of payments (check and otherwise). As to the teen, I am sure she will now be more organized and keep better track of checks. Anyhow, $70 won't make that big a hole in your pocket, and for a teen trying to save for a car, $70 is actually a big deal.

You may have given her cash when she told you she lost the check, right?
Give her the money in good faith; and tell her to "pay it forward". You may want her to babysit and/or have a good reference in the near future. This teaches you and her a good lesson. Money doesn't have to be the root of evil. It can be the root of goodness and trust.
You are correct that checks are typically "no good" after a certain time period, depending on your bank.
Wish me luck collecting all the money I have loaned to people. The money I gave was always a gift.

You said your so anal, sooo my questions is why didn't you call when the check wasn't cashed after 3 months? Yes you need to rewright her a new check she did the work for you so you owe it to her. Thats how teens are very forgetful. Some day it could be your child on the other end.

It is rude, the mother should have had the daughter ask for it..once and only once, but if you don't want to make waves then I would just suck it up and give her another check. However, I would ask the for OLD check to be returned for "record-keeping" purposes. If you can't afford, then just tell them so.

You can also consider from the other side that she could have just cashed it without saying anything and then you'd be really feaked out trying to figure out what happened! It does happen, not everyone (banks,etc) is good about checking dates before cashing.

RE: Since you've changed banks, obviously the account is inactive. But don't be fooled, unless it is printed on the check (like many commercial checks) there is no expiration date on personal checks. Some banks may have a specific "stale date" policy, but unless you put a stop payment on that check...then they can cash it. Just because you've changed banks, doesn't mean you can't be held responsible for checks written on the account. If that were the case, what would stop people from writing a bunch of checks and then closing the account?

That's a tough situation. Being a neighbor I wouldn't want to cause problems, but that's $70. And like you said who's to say you didn't pay her in cash. I can't believe someone would come and ask you for money afther 3 years. If they had a check from a refund or something and lost it and found it again after 3 yrs, would they try to get a new one? I would probably not pay her. I know that when I was 13 or 16 I wouldn't have forgotten to cash a check. Even if I had my mom cash it for me. I would have wanted to cash it right away so as not to mess up the account of the person giving me the check. It's not like were talking about a $3 or $5 check. It's $70. I can't believe they expect you to pay her again, when clearly it's not your fault.

Updated

That's a tough situation. Being a neighbor I wouldn't want to cause problems, but that's $70. And like you said who's to say you didn't pay her in cash. I can't believe someone would come and ask you for money afther 3 years. If they had a check from a refund or something and lost it and found it again after 3 yrs, would they try to get a new one? I would probably not pay her. I know that when I was 13 or 16 I wouldn't have forgotten to cash a check. Even if I had my mom cash it for me. I would have wanted to cash it right away so as not to mess up the account of the person giving me the check. It's not like were talking about a $3 or $5 check. It's $70. I can't believe they expect you to pay her again, when clearly it's not your fault.

I wouldn't do it and any way the ball's in your court. I would just say that that was 3 years ago and I believe we might have given her cash when she lost the check.

I know that you don't want to make waves with your neighbor but she's making waves with you. She has some nerve coming to you after 3 years. After 3 years the statute of limitations is up any way when it comes to pay for any company; at least in the State of Florida.

It's up to you; but I wouldn't do it. By the way, why is the mother coming to you?

It's her problem that she didn't cash the check, not yours.

Let us know how this ends.

To begin with who doesn't clean their couch in three years. I would not want to sit on their furniture if that's all they clean it. Honestly, It's up to you. If you value the neighbor $70.00 is not much to keep peace. But if they are not important to you then don't pay her. I agree, any teenager would not let it go three years. You don't owe her anything. But it's entirely up to you if you want to give her the money. But don't let them pressure you into something you don't want to do. Personally, the girl should come and talk to you. Not her Mother. You do what you feel is right in your heart, not what others tell you to do.

The right thing to do would be to pay her. She more than likely misplaced the check, it happens. But none the less she did the work & should be paid.

And as a parent I would be a little upset if someone was not understanding that accidents happen & didn't want to replace the un -cashed check. Yes this can be viewed as a learning lesson but I would say that if she came to you 3 yrs later & didn't present you with an uncashed check & you had to do all the leg work then that's when I would say that she doesn't deserve the money.

You would have remembered if she came to you & said she lost the check & then you gave her cash, I am sure you would have remembered that!

When my husband and I were newly weds, we were going thru his old boxes & he found a check that was never cashed from an old employer ,the check was dated 5 yrs earlier. It was for $2500. They were so nice & reviewed it & sent him a new check. It was obviously an accident, something that every human being has.

In my area babysitters are hard to find and keep. You may want to take the higher road and pay her again (yes; I understand that you may have paid her cash).

You may never know when you desperately need a babysitter. You have to ask yourself, 'If I don't pay her, what are the ramifications of that?"

So out of curiousity, was the girl 13 and is now 16 or was she 16 and now 19? I had a check once for $15 from serving jury duty that I found years later. Forgetting about cashing a check can happen. As a teen I worked but didn't have my own account so I usually needed my mom to cash the checks for me.

Personally I think it is rude that they are approaching you after all this time. If I was your old babysitter I'd just feel bad I didn't get the money and shred the check. I also think, especially if she is 19, that it is very unprofessional that she is letting her mom approach you instead of talking to you herself.

Ultimately it is up to you. $70 is $70 and I understand the principle you are dealing with. Personally I would probably pay her unless I was reasonably certain I had paid her in cash. Btw, I don't buy for a second they found it in the couch. If they really did, I would not be sitting on that couch anytime soon. :-D

I think I would have to make a compromise... and honor no more than say - HALF of the total. After all - isn't that what some gift card companies do? Or atleast did - after so long, a service charge amount gets deducted if you don't use it within ONE year? Don't you have to use the minutes up on a prepaid cell phone before a certain amount of time? If you are subject to a time frame with consequences - so should this. JMO

I work for a CPA, I reconcile bank accounts monthly and don't let outstanding checks slide for longer than ONE month - and same for my checking account - but I know I'm a busy person too and just let it go for now and then forget. For the stories I read in the thread, wow - some people are really lucky that the long outdated checks got rehonored. But seriously? Who lets a really LARGE check go 5 years?????

Seeing that she was 16 and most 16 yr olds don't have checking accounts, don't think to tell their parents to help them with checks. Be sure to write out a reciept if you pay her in cash!!!

Tell her that you gave her cash because she told you that she had lost the check. If you don't want to do that just tell her flat out that it's been 3 years and you're sorry but you will not be honoring the check.

It's not rude but, if she lost the check for $70 3 years ago wouldn't she have mentioned it at time of loss? What 16 year old loses $70 and not tell anyone, especially her employer who could cut another check, I doubt she would just say to herself oh well I guess I lost $70? I think she probably did mention it and you gave her cash. The prob is you can't prove it. And since admitidly you are anal about your accounts you never caught it or noted to yourself that you paid her cash. It's a tough spot to be in. In the end I guess I would pay her after I ask the daughter is she sure she never mentioned it to you before and you paid her cash? If no recollection then I guess it's the price you pay for neighborly harmony.

If the check never cleared and you have no record of having paid her, then pay her. If you stiff the kid she'll tell everyone she knows and you will NEVER get a sitter again. Plus you owe her the money. Don't be cheap.

Look back and see if the check number was "stop payment" or reported as missing or void. That might help. D.

Kristy,

You've gotten a lot of responses already and I didn't read them all, so hopefully I'm not just repeating what's already been said. The first thing that comes to my mind is, how would a 16 year old lose a check and not tell you about it? Maybe she would have been embarrassed to ask for the money again, but I doubt that would have stopped her from getting paid. Chances are greater that you have already paid her cash, in my opinion.

Secondly, why is the mom asking you about it and not the girl? Is there any chance that she is doing it without the girl knowing about it? Like, planning on keeping the money herself? I wonder if you could find that out before giving any money to the mom.

If you do decide to pay, I recommend only paying half. I would just be honest and tell the girl, you don't remember if you paid her cash already or not. Tell her you find it difficult to believe that at 16, when money is so hard to come by, she wouldn't have already followed up with you about it. Tell her you can give her $35 or nothing; it's her choice. She doesn't have a legal leg to stand on, and I think that would be more than fair of you.

If you don't remember if you gave her cash or not, she wouldn't remember either. If your extremely anal about your bills and such, then it would make sense that you would have paid her consistantly in one way (cash or check), not both (of course hubby could have taken care of this for you). If I were in that situation, I'd write her another check.

I would think you would notice way back then that you had extra money in your account when you balanced your checkbook? I'm not sure why you wouldn't have caught it back then. If someone doesn't cash a check I still "withdraw" the money out of my records......So I would notice if the bank said I had 70 dollars more than what I said I had.

Regardless, I guess you should just give her the cash if you want to keep peace with your neighbors. I would be frustrated and annoyed as well. I understand where you're coming from.

Oh, sweetheart. This really sucks! But I will tell you some people are not good caring for their checks. I admit I was one (and still am at times). I'm getting better at it now but fully understand what you are saying and what might have happened with the 16 yr old. At times, I would put checks away when given to me and would forget where I had put them or that I even had them until cleaning out my office and finding $400 worth of checks 2yrs old stashed in an envelope. I never went back to those people requesting payment after that long out of embarassment and thought it was inappropriate but I sure could have used that money. Be upfront with the mom and explain the situation and you are sorry about what happened. If you remember giving her cash at some point in the past, let her know. Her mom might not even be aware that a cash transaction took place once before. Money always gets in the way of relationships....be warned.

I believe that personal checks do not expire so she could still cash the check.

I would replace the check with a new check. Checks do get lost or misplaced and forgotten about, but I would honor it and give her a new check if she gives you with the old one.

You will never feel bad about taking the high road.

MOST teen rooms are like 'Black Holes'! It is entirely possible that it got lost in there somewhere, maybe she was embarressed @ the time to tell you(?) or she was busy with her new beau, gal pal, party, softball, cheerleading, etc.. If you have no reason to mistrust her, simply ask for the old check & give her a new one or cash.

It is my understanding a check is only good for six months.

A.

I think that mom should teach her daughter a lesson and let it go. her daughter should have cashed it then.

I used to watch a friends daughter and things went south. I had to call and have her pick up her daughter early one work day as she was being mean to my kids in a hurtful way. Her daughter pushed my kids off their bikes and such. Another neighbor witnessed it and told me to call the mom too. Anyways...I called, she arrived took her kid and said she's pay me the next day. Then a week went by then a year and now it's been about 5 years. She still owes me the money but I won't say a word. I haven't seen her to mention it but I wouldn't accept the money now. She would give it to me out of pity.

Getting back on your topic, I think it's rude and the 16 year old should just suck it up as a lesson learned. I bet she will think twice later. In the meantime. Watch your checkbook in case she still tries to cash it. Put a note for your bank on that check number. It would be a hassle to change your checking account now.

I worked in a bank for many years. Checks are stale dated after 6 months so she would not have been able to cash it after 6 months. I can understand how you feel. Honestly, I would feel a bit put out by this situation too. Do you do the right thing and just give her the money...or do you rely on not knowing if you gave her cash, not knowing if you did or did not. It's $70.00. 3 Years has gone by. I don't think you are technically obligated to give her the money.

Last year I sold something on Ebay. I got paid, sent off the package. The buyer opted not to buy insurance. I always make it an option for the buyer. Three months had passed and I got a message from the buyer indicating that he never got the package. I didn't know what to do...so I contacted Ebay. Long story short, Ebay told me that because so much time had gone by there was nothing they could do and if I chose to give a refund, that was entirely up to me. I prayed about the situation, asked a good Christian friend of mine who makes a living from selling on Ebay and she told me not to refund. Too much time had passed and shame on the buyer for letting so much time go by. 3 years is a long time. If you have a relationship with God, I'd suggest you pray about this situation and see how you are led to respond. This just might be the learning experience this girl needs to be a little more responsible with her money in the future.