C.S.
HI,
I can deeply sympathize with what you are going through. I have been there with my son. He is now 15 years old. I tried everything; play therapy, cranial-sacral therapy, sensory integration therapy, straterra, strict routines and spending time outdoors.......on and on.
He is a very sweet boy with a big heart, but i simply could not find a way to get him to behave. By the time he was 10, it was clear to me that i could not control him. Things were really getting out of hand. That is when he went to live with his dad. I have since realized that he had really needed a strong father figure in his life all along. It would have served him if i had done this sooner, but i thought i was the better parent and i just couldn't let him go. So, consider the fact that maybe he needs to be with his dad, to lay down the law for him. It cleared up many problems once I let my son be with his dad. He just couldn't accept me as anything other than his nurturer. He is now much better.
Good luck, i hope you can find the right choice for you.
C.